The Dead and the Damned [Great]

[Sans]

Sans had to quickly switch his targeting eye to its normal color as he heard footsteps approaching. It had occurred right after he heard a feminine voice call out from across the forest. As his sockets started glowing white again, he leaned off of the tree, turning around to face the shrubbery as the footsteps halted. He was fairly certain that the voice belonged to the 'Alice' that he had seen being treated by the cloaked specter-like man.

The skeleton looked upwards, noticing a shadow slowly duck down until only a very small portion on the top part of it was visible above the grass. The same voice gingerly whispered towards him, requesting him to come out. He glanced around, silently pondering as to how he would proceed with what was presented to him. Whoever the 'Alice' was, it was perfectly clear that she held no ill intentions for him. It was her helper that worried him. He did not seem like the guy who enjoyed his presence in the slightest. Normally, this would be enough for the comedian to want to avoid the situation altogether, but this was a more... abnormal situation. Him running away would not bode well for him at all, especially if it could prove the cloaked man's suspicions correct. So, the only logical choice was to play along and hope he didn't get attacked. If he did, he'll probably crack a joke or two before high-tailing it and maybe try to get the girl out of there if things got messy.

Sans took in a deep breath as he stepped forward, poking his skull through his cover to look at the figure. Thankfully, he did not have to crane his neck to see who it was, which caused him to be taken aback for a second. It was the 'Alice,' and now he could see her without darkness impeding his vision any. A good thing, too, as she was, in all honesty, a very pretty individual. She had golden hair that rose like a crown, with elf-like ears and pale white skin. The most surprising bit about her, however, were her sharpened canines visible within her mouth. It didn't require a genius to figure out that she was a vampire, which would've explained why the man was trying to heal her. She must have walked underneath a spot in the forest where the light shown through and it had burned her arm clean off. He felt like asking her why she was in a place that could kill her like that in the first place, but it wasn't exactly the right time or place for a question like that. He also noticed she was smiling, as if she was meeting a long lost friend.

The skeleton quickly looked towards the ground, feeling a little warm and fuzzy all of a sudden. He closed his eyes, his cheekbones blushing blue a bit before reopening them, chuckling a bit. It was at that point that he realized he still had not answered her question. The skeleton hopped a bit in his spot, sliding his left hand up to his forehead as he started to stammer a bit.

“i'm, uh... i'm looking for my-”

His sentence was cut off as he saw a whoosh of motion, followed by a loud noise erupting from a ways off behind him that proceeded what sounded like a stampede to his immediate left.

"uh oh..." he muttered as he sprinted forward, crashing into the vampire as he impulsively pushed into her, accidentally knocking them both onto the ground, with the undead monster on top of the vampire. He quickly held his hands up, slipping right off of her chest as the two-headed ogre tore past them a few feet away, thankfully safely away from the skeleton. Sans pushed himself onto his feet, staring at the giant as it ran up to its master: The cloaked man. He took a moment to give his apologies to the woman before looking back towards the ogre.

Both Alice and Sans bore witness to the insults spewing forth from the man's mouth as he yelled at his servant, who was too busy yelling back to really respond to them. The event was, in all honesty, rather hilarious. He kept his hands in his pockets, glancing up towards the vampire's face to see how she was handling the situation. She appeared to be fairly shocked, which made sense. Meanwhile, however, the monster was trying his best not to start laughing uncontrollably.

He didn't do a very good job, as a loud snort emerged from him, which he quickly stifled with a closed hand. The man did not appear to react to it, though his body language was evident. He was not very happy with what he was doing, and he would rather prefer not getting laughed at.

Naturally, that must mean more laughs were in order.

His mind went to work, pulling every single joke, pun, and anything else he could muster from the inner workings of his brain. He managed to obtain a few of them by the time the man started talking to him. As the robed man spoke, he waited for an opportunity to crack a few. When he asked if he understood what he had said, he closed his eyes, moving his hands behind his back before stepping forward. The vampire looked at him like he was insane as he confidently stood in his spot, opening his eyes to say a single sentence.


“i understand. i ain't...boneheaded.”

Budum. Tzz.

Sans held his hands out in the air near his sides, shrugging his shoulders as he peered at the man. He did not seem to respond to his joke, though he could imagine he was trying his best not to let loose a barrage of annoyed grunts and unintelligible words his way. If that was what was happening, it would have made the situation a whole lot funnier. If the lady was reacting to it, he hardly noticed; he was far too focused on what the man was going to say next.

The comedian shut up for a few moments, allowing the man to speak some more. Instead of answering, however, he instead narrowed his eyes a bit. The robed man was asking him a rather peculiar question in the guise of a sentence. Apparently, he suspected there was more to him than he let on. He was half right, but he probably could've worked on his technique. Then again, not everyone really knew how to guess how many times one person had died just by reading the looks on their faces. Or the practice to get to that level. He had plenty.

As an example of that, he himself took a mental note as to who this guy might have been. For starters, he had about three companions: Alice, the vampire, Ur'Gash, the ogre, and some other guy who's name he did not know. He had most likely found the woman near the area they were standing on, and had left the ogre on guard duty while they checked her out. Given his attitude and his rather...ambiguous phrasing, however, he was beginning to suspect he did not do it out of the goodness of his heart. What perplexed him the most, however, was what he meant by "plans." Traditionally, whenever someone said "plans," they usually meant something like vacation. Like a day at the beach or a trip to the kings castle or something like that. But that obviously wasn't what the man was referring to. Hell, he could make a bet it was something far worse than that.

But like hell he'd let him know that.

Instead, he decided it was time to crack another good one.

“i think you misused the term 'coral' there, mister. isn't that kind of a, uh... under sea plant thing?” The skeleton replied, keeping his tone upbeat, with little sense of sarcasm. He had read that the best kind of comedy was the one where, no matter how stupid the comic acted, he always said it as seriously as possible. So as to prove his own stupidity, making his insane logic seem even funnier because he believed it himself. Now, all he had to do was wait for what would happen next. He slid his hands back into his coat pockets, his smile immobile and his pupils bright and upbeat.