ARK: Survival Evolved

[Demetri Malius]

Alright so its been a while, and after dwindling in a dying server we have joined another for a fresh start. HOWEVER, enjoy these spectacular screenshots from our forgotten land from the world we left.



Here in the the dim light of the night we can see the home of the tribe "omnoms", a disorganized mess of wood and containers. Here lives the princethief "Demetri" , the knight "Animbus", and the Dodo Queen "Jade". Yes that is animus floating off the side of the building after i dragged his body. I do this often.



Here on a random, bright, sunny day, a naked man(not pictured) rides his giant bird into the fenced tribe of Omnoms to investigate his new neighbors. HES ONTO US



A short time later, due to being one of the only dinos without a mate, Rex decides to try to fornicate with the house. He is unsuccessful. Animbus what happened to your pants.



Dude c'mon i can plainly see your undies. Have you no shame?



Oh okay. I see how you want to play this. Just wait until you get offline and i drag your body around.



heheheheh.Totally gonna be worth the waste of materials and upgrade points.



The nudist awakens from a drugged slumber and finds himself in a rather unpleasant situation. DO YOU WISH TO PARTICIPATE IN A GAME ANIMBUS? He says no and opens the cage, before going off to find some pants.

SOME TIME LATER...

GEORGE WE NEED TO FIND OUR FROG OR JADE IS GONNA KILL US. ITS NOT MY FAULT I DONT HAVE IRON LUNGS. WE MUST RETRIEVE MY ITEMS, AND MY ATTIRE.

George replies with a few grants as he scratches his butt, and points to to a cliff.

WHAT IS IT GEORGE.




George grunts and squeals.



NEWS HEADLINE: TWO DEAD NAKED BODIES FOUND ON CLIFF BY MONKEY RIDING A MAN RIDING A PTERANODON.