Legacy and War (Official Business)

[Tom Marvolo Riddle]

Before I forget, and now that the competition is over I feel fine sharing some feedback that would have probably boosted your score. Since its moot now who won.

Yu, in Stewies' posts I found myself thrown out of the story mainly by two major points. Excessive use of ?! and in general almost all if not all spoken sentences had some sort of excited exclamation mark.

It was very hard to get past and sort of made your post overly uniform. Having watched family guy I know Stewie tends to over react but from a writing perspective it can really tire out a reader. Over all if that one item was changed so you used it to accentuate your posts, I imagine your writing style for him would be a lot more solid and easier grasp.

To twist a metaphor, if everything is excited, then nothing is.