Mock Fight: Sans vs Athena Myalo

[Sans]

"say, what did the bottle say to the bartender? i'll beer right back!"

Sans couldn't help but chuckle as the bartender standing right across from the counter blushed red. The skeleton was sitting on a two foot tall black stool, holding a ketchup bottle in one hand. The counter in front of him was littered with half-empty bottles and uneaten cheeseburgers as well as the grubby hands of the patrons who feasted on them. The counter also had a cash register to Sans' left, which the bartender always kept an eye on and swatted away any hands that tried to risk it. The bar was fairly crowded, with a bunch of tables on the left and right walls that were filled to the brim with drunks and people looking for a meal. There was also a slot machine for gambling, and a pool table right in the middle. Each of these hot-spots had about four or five others playing them, which more often than not caused an argument whenever someone lost. If that wasn't enough, the bar reeked of sweat and the bitter aroma of alcohol. To most people, this would be a place for deadbeats or people with nothing else to do. But to Sans, this was like home, especially the ketchup, which gave Grillby's a run for its money.

The skeleton reopened the bottle of ketchup in his right hand, setting the plastic cap onto the counter. He kept a close eye on it just in case the meaty paws of the customers slid it off the table as he raised the bottle to his mouth, glugging down the blood-like gel until it was empty. He placed the empty bottle back onto the counter, lightly tossing a few gold pieces towards the bartender before hopping off of the stool, heading towards the exit.

As he walked, however, he accidentally brushed his left shoulder against a cloaked woman, though she didn't seem to pay him much mind. The white-turtlenecked skeleton stopped in his tracks, observing the woman as she trudged towards the counter of the bar, sitting down in the stool he was just on. She had a hood up above her head, preventing Sans from getting a good look at her, and she had a mysterious aura around her that he couldn't quite understand. The woman had her head down, as if she didn't want anyone bothering her. Sans looked at her, pity in his eyes before strolling back towards the counter.

He lifted himself onto a stool to the right of the woman, noticing she wasn't even bothering to look at anyone, not even the bartender. He remained silent for a while; his bony fingers tapping the hard wood of the counter-top like a xylophone. Eventually, Sans beamed as an idea struck his mind. He snickered to himself as he removed a whoopee cushion from his blue jacket, stealthily moving it behind the woman's back. After being sure that the woman hadn't noticed what he had done, he squeezed.

Sans let out a burst of laughter as the woman nearly jumped out of her seat, swiping his cushion back into his coat. The woman turned her face towards him, allowing Sans to notice that her eyes were concealed behind a blindfold. She also had a necklace around her neck that looked like a bronze gear, and very pale skin. The comedian, however, hardly bothered memorizing what she looked like, as he was still laughing.

After about a minute's time, Sans stopped hooting and hollering, moving his left hand up to his eyes to wipe away some tears. He saw that the blindfolded woman was still looking at him, apparently wanting an explanation. He decided to give her one.

"hehehehe. whopee cushion behind the back jokes. you can't get much better than those, hehehe." The joker said, staring at the woman with an almost unnerving smile, "anyways, uh... i'm sans. sans the skeleton. saw you walking in here. didn't look like you were enjoying yourself. still don't. i think i'll fix that."

Intro Post complete! Whether or not there will be another one will be decided.