Omniverse: Sims 3 Edition

[Kopaka]

AMNISAMS SESH 8


NEW BIBLELAND BABYLON EDITION

You know it's funny. Most Sim households do better when I'm not subtly manipulating every aspect of their lives.

This was not the case with New Babylon.



When I switched over to their house, Sanskrit was failing in school, Gilgamesh was mediocre at best at his job, Victor hadn't gotten a single promotion yet and Victor's GF...

uh..

Amelia? Beatrice?

Well I don't know shit about Stephanie, so...yeah.

But she IS a trauma surgeon in a relationship with an assassin, so I'm sure they have lots to talk about. :.)





Alright first step, do your goddamn homework you slouch. Blood debts and brooding can wait until after you've become at least a B student, or there won't be any desert for a month do you hear me young man?







Looks like daddy Gilgamesh brought home a friend today! Her name is Arturia. Apparently they go waaaaaaay back.







You know...the fact that Gilgamesh and Sasuke share a bedroom, and Sat Still gets the larger bed...it's just not...


no...

this needs to be fixed...










Rise and shine goldilocks, I gotsa surprise for ya!



WOW WAY TO BE SUPER PISSED ABOUT IT YOU WERE ABOUT TO WAKE UP ANYWAY.









What is this? A spiral staircase on the balcony?








Cozy, I guess.












...


Well. It's a start. :gilgamesh:








Looks like Soufflé' Pan decided to pick up fishing.


c'mon guys, do something funny.








I think Gilgamesh is cooking dinner just so he can say that the others have to eat the 'table scraps'.








Tipped trash cans drive a new assassin to suicide every minute. Donate to your local waste management department today to prevent half naked hit men from harming themselves.








Wow, look at them go.









wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :guu:










wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.









Ishtar...leader of the pride. deadly hunter...









I R BECOME DETH LOL





Screw it, these punks are boring. GILGAMESH. I COMMAND YOU TO THROW A FUNDRAISER PARTY.





Looking good king of heroes! Unfortunately, people who were not invited are still showing up.




kill them.








"I don't know any of these people." mith:










Oh! But Arturia 'Duckface' Pendragon did show up! Hey guys, don't go fogging up the windows too much!



With all that STEAMY RIBALD DIRECT EYE CONTACT.


MY WHAT A SCANDAL.




YOU'RE SOO BORING.








Looks like Samus and Strazio showed up too! These two Primes seem to have a thing going between them. Also, Straz, what's up with that suit? It looks like you pulled it out of a fire.








Ohhh here we go. Samus decided to liven the party up with some of her immaculate guitar skills.

Well, we all know she sucks, but Gilgamesh needs her money dammit! Might as well listen politely.









...from the other side of the room across a twenty foot wide fountain with the stereo playing.












Party is winding down. Looks like the dregs Victor decided to show up.

Guy's just walking around like "hey guys. any food left? hey, you gonna eat that?"




I swear, Wolfe.






OH

MY

GOD



YOU GUYS ARE SO BORING.






Careful Gilgeemash, that's a good way to get your throat punched.



Where's Ishtar?





Hanging out with officer jade.





HAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT COMEDY.








Oh hey you two. Just having a totally platonic jam session in the house's only bathroom with a shower eh?










Hey yeah okay. That's cool but could you maybe just



GET THE FUCK OUT OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE YOU SOCIOPATHS.









OOHHH NO. NO PLEASE VICTOR DO GO ON ABOUT CD ROMS.


TELL US ALL ABOUT THEM.


REALLY?! THEY ARE ALMOST COMPLETELY FLAT?

DO TELL!!!!!!!!







yfw: :psy:









Well at least he was taking a shower for a reason. Had to get all dolled up for his nightly five star meal. Oh! How nice. His dinner is being serenaded by the town's best* guitar player.







*best in that Luger is the only other guitar player in town other than samus.









Well well well. Look what the eating contest dragged in.








Wow, that was faster than I was even expecting.










FEAR THE HAIR GEL.



FEAR IT.









Oh hello officer Dawson. Having a nice evening? That's lovely!









Hrm. Well, that was lucky. Better take measure to make sure Gilgamesh wins future fights. Looks like Victor is willing to help by yelling nonsense at gilgamesh while he uses the treadmill training him!









Well, I guess there's only so much I can do to force these creatures to be funny. Until next time, please don't be disappo-


Hold the phone, what's that noise?





Sounds like a jock strapped bull trying to tongue box a jellyfish.





OH. SEE I DIDNT EVEN THINK YOU GUYS ACTUALLY HAD A RELATIONSHIP THATS NICE.


HAVE A NICE TIME WITH UH.


UH.

CHEALSEA THERE, MR. WOLFE.








Well...I guess that was nice. Just gonna walk right on out of there, eh Wolfe? Nah, who need pillow talk.



at least you left a tip.










WHoahahahoaaaaaaaa! Keep it VERTICAL you two! Mami doesn't need to be picking up any...


...bad school habits!





What are you two snuggle bunnies watching?






DARKNESSSSSSSS










Looks like Victor decided to go on a date with Trixie immediately after shtuping his main girl. LOOK OUT GYM.


AALLLL YOUR MACHINES ABOUT TO BE TAKEN.









Oh shit. TRIPLE DATE ACTION GOING ON. Gilgamesh is also on a dinner date with both...Samus AND his boss.

Better not forget how much you ADORE samus's guitar music Gilg, otherwise this could get awkward way fast.








Somehow being supervised by a cat is even worse than being supervised by an adult.












ENTREE TEAM.




ASSSEEMMBBBLLEEEEEEE











Slowly but surely, the townies are losing ground against the endless influx of prime nut jobs.

but Victor, aren't you supposed to be training Trixie?




Probably should go find the lady you're on a date with. Just saying.





Oh.



Hello Dean.



[youtube]zeiKrRTuk[/youtube]







Aww, that's cute. But uh.

Mami.


You with us girl?


You're looking a little checked out.






[youtube]sCNrK-n68CM[/youtube]




Just keep this playing for the rest of Session. It'll help.




Well, at least Gilgamesh's date is winding down. One less battlefront to worry about.

WHOA.


WHO IS THAT SWANK FUCK.







Kakashi Hatake, at your service.

You know normally Gilgamesh can't stand people dressed better than him, but in this case...



...wait, what's that rumbling sound?







:psy: the end times are upon us.





anyway.




OH shit.


What's with this asshole's smug face?

What's his name?

Fluffy?

:luffy:



Gilgamesh...can't...stop...




THE BURRRRNSS








CAREFUL GILGAMESH HES A PIRATE HE HAS DIRTY TRICKS.




QUICK. HIT HIM IN THE FACT WITH A CHAIR FR-





-UUHHHHHH. HI OFFICER JADE.



(gil quick. stop being literally the worst person alive. quick)








eeeeeeghhhhhh ssssssshhhhit.










You know I'm beginning to think that gratuitous violence is just not a crime in this town.




That's really very bad news for the townies.




OH WAIT. SHE ACTUALLY JUST NOTICED.






Clone Jade: quee: :lol:










flawless. :frog:



I wonder how Super Scoop's date is going.




Oh, looks like he took Mami to his favorite fishing spot.


Say where is Mami.


SACK SCRATCH, WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR DATE.




Oh, I see. She went home after being ignored for two hours.



Excuse me for a moment.






Okay I'm back.





SAP SLURP, YOU GET RIGHT OVER TO CONCRETE FART THIS INSTANT AND APOLOGIZE TO MAMMERS.



You know you've arrived at the Concrete Fart house, because when you get up to the doorstep, all you can hear is screaming, barking, three different kinds of music, distant explosions and the sounds of just everything breaking.







HELLO MALE NEIGHBOR ADOLESCENT HAVE YOU COME TO HAVE AN INTIMATE MOMENT WITH MAMI. PLEASE COME RIGHT INSIDE. I PROMISE I WILL NOT STARE JUDGEMENTALLY.






What have you gotten yourself into, Slingshot.








QUICK YOU TWO. ABSCOND UPSTAIRS!









Or you could just flirt amidst the screaming and flying excrement. Way to creep btw Jade.







Alright, well I guess that big 'ol kiss will just have to wait, once again.

le sigh.



Let's see what Rachel is up to.








She's asleep.


You know that's honestly probably the best thing possible for you to do, Georgette.

There is no winning with Prime Sims.