11-27-2015, 08:47 AM
Can you please separate your moves into their own, separate, spaces? It makes it a lot easier to look at. Also, something else I overlooked, you'll need Physical Strength proficiency for the Baseball Bat.
Also, if I can just offer a bit of help with your move;
Magnum revolver (Requires Ranged Proficiency) (300) - A plain, silver colored, revolver with a black, synthetic, grip. The Revolver itself is only single shot and takes about four seconds to reload. The revolver is roughly average in size and Rin carries it around in a brown, leather, holster which he keeps strapped to his waist.
What I wrote there is a little more of what we look for in move descriptions. I reduced the reload time because I felt that 10 seconds was way too long. I don't know about gun sizes... so I just said average.
Also, if I can just offer a bit of help with your move;
Magnum revolver (Requires Ranged Proficiency) (300) - A plain, silver colored, revolver with a black, synthetic, grip. The Revolver itself is only single shot and takes about four seconds to reload. The revolver is roughly average in size and Rin carries it around in a brown, leather, holster which he keeps strapped to his waist.
What I wrote there is a little more of what we look for in move descriptions. I reduced the reload time because I felt that 10 seconds was way too long. I don't know about gun sizes... so I just said average.
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