Colosseum Results

[Storyteller]

Okor v Luffy

FINALLY SOMEONE USED SP! (Other than myself) I don’t think we judges have a log for this, so I decided to store it at the bottom just before the final score!

Also, Luffy you are calling it way too close. I’m going to smack you. Your second post at the exact minute, made me go “WTF,” just saying. Also, I think part of what causes you to be slightly borderline time might be because you went over the word limit? I use “wordcounter.net” and so do the other judges. Your last post was only at 737 by my reading. Thought that’d make a good FYI.

Before I started reading the fight, I knew this would be a harder one, because I am familiar with both your styles. You’re very evenly matched, and I think this fight in particular will just really focus on what skill you were able to display during the rounds. I found you to both be very evenly matched and can only wish you... Good Luck!

Okor

Description and Clarity: 4

The marine breathed deep, savouring the acrid taste of chemicals and toxins that infused his ravaged lungs as the gong rang, echoing around the forest of steel and chrome. His lone eye sighted his opponent, a seemingly unarmed youth looking over the array of mortal weapons with rapt interest, a not-quite mad smile etched upon his scarred face, topped by an ostentatious straw hat.

Your intro sentence was classy.

They brought with them a promise of death and pain, eager to create a demise so violent that even the immortal denizens of this accursed realm would think twice about daring to oppose him and his masters.

I appreciated this little bit because a part of my job is to make sure the reading is comprehensible to all parties, and I felt like your word choice and style match what you are trying to display very well.

It was at this point that the pirate, rather than being simultaneously shot, burnt, irradiated, partially exploded, and acquiring tetanus to boot, cartwheeled away from the incoming hail, limbs stretching impossibly to carry him out of harm's way. Shouting a string of curses (A dangerous thing when you devote your life to a Dark God fond of laying a malediction upon an entire bloodline), his weapons barked again, a trail of shrapnel and fire following his agile adversary.

A few things. You have a colorful vocabulary, and it’s something I really admire, but in this section, there are a lot of commas. and then later, there are parenthesis. Sometimes parenthesis can heed a sentence’s flow, so just keep that in mind for later fights.

incoming hail, limbs stretching impossibly to carry him out of harm's way.

This extra comma could have been “with his” to avoid the overuse in that sentence, cause there were quite a few.

His opponent once more chose

that could be, for a smoother read, “His opponent chose once more”

universal concepts of entropy, decay, and the inevitability of death.

This part felt a little wordy because of the word “inevitability” keep an eye on words to describe other words, adjectives won’t always work in your favor if they don’t feel/seem well-placed.

I’ve been mentioning this a lot to people,

In his still-dripping hands, he clutched the rusted blade, preparing to swing its heavy edge towards the strange, infuriating youth. His armour was still dented and cracked from his first blow,

But just keep an eye on your use of “his” as it can get a bit busy during sentences like this.

With a screamed curse, the pestilential paladin fell, dead claws scrabbling at the rapidly corroded floor he once stood upon, desperately seeking for any hold, no matter how tenuous.

The last little bit “no matter how tenuous” struck me as a little out of place, I think it was the use of “tenuous.” Don’t get too excessive with your adjectives, and if something sounds a bit long when you read it, consider swapping/trading out one word for another. The use of tenuous in this case, I felt, reduced some of the grueling effect that it had on the reader.

Decrepit vertebrae cracked under the force, the absurd strength of his foe causing him to spiral ever-downwards, his fragile handhold shattering under his weight.

Initially I read “shattering” as “shattered” the tense change brings a bit more resolution the the sentence’s end, you’re under a word limit and I can see a few places were commas were substituted for words. It may just be your style, but sometimes swapping them out helps the writing remain varied.

With arms sizzling from the hostile environs, chemically-induced lesions spreading across his bare flesh, he removed his helmet, raising its damaged construction over his horn.

The first comma I would have preferred it to be the word “and” written, it would have helped with the conversion over to “he removed his helmet” which is past tense compared to present being what you used.

Plague Marine along for the ride, mists blurring below as he accompanied the fist on its journey to the platform. To battle. The journey of Nurgle’s chosen was interrupted by a sudden whipping motion from his foe

formatting this, I just had a really brief suggestion. “To battle” was drowned out a little bit, by one separation due to the way the paragraph fell. I sometimes check for things like this when I post my own things, however I also wanted to keep in mind on preview it may not even show it, as well as certain devices are set to certain font sizes. I read “to” and then “battle” separately, and it lost a bit of consequence for me. I felt like (despite your very nicely written style) that it could have been separated, or perhaps brought to a little more potential impact in its delivery.

cried the youth, a rubber foot colliding into Okor’s skull.

For that comma, I felt like I would have rather it said “and a rubber foot collided into Okor’s skull” however I think it’s mostly preference, things like this are nice to keep in mind.

Voice: 4.5
Your narration was very good,

What threat did this youth pose to hi-

at this point, I was hanging off of your words. I really enjoyed what you brought consistently throughout the fight, you really make your skill look effortless.

Warnings blared in his helm, cautioning him that his ‘air’ supply was breached. Accompanying it were sigils Okor no longer recognized, lost to the rotten recesses of his mind. A skull and crossed bones. A circle surrounded by three warped squares.

This part was really well done.

Through black, broken teeth he breathed, magical death flowing past his lips. Just like home.

Pistons snarled in protest as their workings suffered under the noxious touch of the gas. But he moved, hauling himself ever-upward, towards his doom.

A desiccated tongue was visible through the ragged hole, stewing in a noxious mixture of disease.

Even when you read this line alone, it is really epic, and I loved every part of it. You’ll see I don’t have too many examples in this part, but thats because your voice was thoroughly consistent throughout the entire fight, and this really helped work in some of every other category. You and Luffy make a good foil, I might say, as this is some of your best work.

Character: 5

The millennia-old warrior wasted no time with taunts, war cries, or threats. The Gods favoured those who were known by deed, rather than by word, after all. Cloven hoof and steel boot stomped across the chrome surface of the platform, as he raised rusted weapons in necrotic hands, rotten fists closing around the trigger of bolter and pistol. With dull thumps, they spat their shells, rocket-propelled slugs screaming through the air towards the lean figure, howling a wordless serenade of death and fury that had brought the end of countless worlds.

This part was awesome in more ways than one. You subtly put in a bit about Okor’s origins, and then flew forth with action.

. “Cor, ain't you an ugly one. Didn’t think I hit you bad enough to give you a mug that bad.” Okor’s cyclopean, hateful eye fixated itself on his foe, as he drew his pitted blade, necrotic slime dripping from his blackened teeth.

OH NO YOU DIDN’T ! (I liked the prompt at banter, while you kept it to a minimal and focused on Okor’s inner workings.

”You really think you’re the… newcomer here, don’t you? The underdog, the… clever gladiator, here to trick and overcome the reigning champions.” He hacked up a gobbet of corrosive phlegm, its gelatinous mass streaked with translucent blood. Peals of warped laughter preceded his next bout of verbosity. ”How long have you languished in these… tides of power? The very essence of victory suffuses your being. You are an abomination borne of a godling’s warped whims, catapulted to the highest… echelons of strength. You are the champion, the monster that must be slain. I am naught but your next…victim.”

This was like, the coolest thing ever.



Throughout the battle, I felt you had an EXCELLENT sense of character, and I really thought that since your last battle, you even grew in this category. Okor was a great rival for Luffy, and he was UNFATHOMABLY consistent. I really loved hating his character and part of me loved LOVING his character, so I felt like the only thing to do was give you a super awesome grade. You did really, truly well in this category, and I think your hard work paid off. I really hope you maintain how well he was displayed *spoiler* next round.


Story: 3.5

He could feel his blighted life force slipping away, seeping onto the ground surrounding him. Are you reclaiming what is yours, my Lord? He wondered, his opponent closing in as his limbs began to melt away, turning into a virulent slime. I can still fight. Let me fight. Am I not worthy to bear your gifts? As his flesh rotted and liquefied, the pirate swung his rubbery fist, its momentum carrying it towards Okor's horned helmet.

While this had more to do with your character, I thought it was cool as heck.

A toxic miasma enshrouded Okor, gases swirling around his bulk as he stumbled backwards, the ferocity of his opponent throwing him off-balance. His guns fell and affixed themselves to his greaves, the possibility of flammability not entirely discounted. It was nigh-impossible to think. The youth was a constant blur of motion, striking with impossibly powerful blows. Better than you.

This part was great too! This was from your second post, but you started out strong (again) and I felt like it certainly paid off because its impact was easily delivered to the reader. The thought had great consequence, and I really liked how/where it was placed.

He impaled his naked palm on a brutal spike, solidifying his grip. Hang on, even if only by a thread. Never fall, never surrender.

When I read this, I had to reread it to know that I was reading it right. This really reinforces how awesome your character and the story are woven together. I couldn’t have been more impressed.

A grim chuckle leaked from his shattered mouth as he advanced forward, his antique blade scraping across the platform, creating sparks in its wake. “But I’ll be damned… again, if I don’t leave my mark.” He rasped, spitting his defiance. If he could endure this onslaught for a few minutes more, Nurgle would take the fool. Gears grinded as he began his charge, a veritable stampede towards his agile opponent. If.

I really felt like your good sense of character helped the story you displayed come across the way it did -which was done very well- however, I think you do need a tad bit of improvement in this category, because while I liked how it wove together and was balanced, other readers or judges may not find that quite as impacting on the overall story and plot.

To improve, I would just say keep doing what you are doing, and don’t be afraid to add whatever you can to Okor’s motivation, or otherwise you could play off of your opponent in this category.

*seriously be careful with this category.

Grammar and Spelling: 4

Shouting a string of curses (A dangerous thing when you devote your life to a Dark God fond of laying a malediction upon an entire bloodline), his weapons barked again, a trail of shrapnel and fire following his agile adversary.

“a” should be lowercase.

Watch comma usage.

"Gomu Gomu Spear!" Yelled his opponent,

yelled should be lowercase, but next time I suggest “Luffy yelled” or “Luffy, his opponent, yelled” which saves word space, however I do appreciate the subtle explanation that “his opponent” offers to the reader. POV/ expressing that was a nice touch.

"bullet",

While this isn’t technically incorrect, I think it would look better if it was avoided being used after the quotation mark.

It joined the rest of the marine's corporeal form on the floor as the blow struck, Luffy's clenched fingers meeting the steel wall of the dwelling place, demolishing the fragile architecture of the structure, and bringing it down on the pair.

instead of meeting, I would prefer “met” having been used, however on the greater scale of the sentences (which is separated by commas into three parts) it fits better the original way, I just thought I would make note of this.

After a brief lull in the action, dust and powdered metal spreading from the collapsed ruin, an elastic arm protruded from the remnants of what was once a hovel, followed quickly by the malleable body of its owner

I believe you meant spread or spread out.

Laughing, he spoke: “Well, that was easier than expected.”

I didn’t really see the purpose of the colon being used before the quotation marks rather than just a comma.

“Who’s next? I think my warmup is just about done!” While the insufferable youth taunted and crowed, the amorphous form of Okor coalesced behind him, returning from his state of primordial ooze.

This is mainly style choice, I believe, but I don’t care for quotes in the middle of paragraphs (I find them a bit messy) and after the use of the above, the POV *seems* to switch. Keep an eye on that sort of thing.

His armour was still dented and cracked from his first blow, a feat that only a handful of entities could replicate.The child may have been strong, but Okor was eternal. He swung his blighted blade, tearing through the air, destined to connect with the pirate’s neck.

Right here, “The” is missing a space, which means if it had a space, you’d be bumped up to 750 words on the dot. BE SUPER CAREFUL!

Ittttt happened again in this one. (2nd post)

Nurgle’s chosen son slammed onto the harsh rockcrete,cracks spinning a haphazard web across its surface.

Lastly, during your last post I don’t think I had to worry at all about grammar, and I could really just enjoy the fight. Good work.


Okor used:1 SP used to activate Grave Warden (+2 ATk, +2 DEF, +1 TEC). 1 SP will be used to sustain it on Luffy's post. 2 SP remaining, 1 SP remaining after Luffy's post.


Total Score: 21



Luffy

Description and Clarity: 4
LUUFFYY! What was with the lines at the top and bottom of your first post man?

I’m not sure it counts toward word usage or not, but to avoid any needless word usage, best leave those out for optimal formatting.

The oxidized hunk of millennia-old steel cleaved through a waft of noxious air, yet nothing more.

For clarity, instead of yet, you may decide “but” is a bit more feasible in this sentence. It felt a little “cut off” so just watch out for that sort of thing in the future.

Certain to claim yet another soul for his memorandum, the heretic chose to forego proper footing. As the rustic headhunter swung with intent as grotesque as his form, Straw Hat fortuitously zipped his rubber dome down beneath the toothy blade's pathway, leaving his aesthetically infamous headwear a mere hairline above the flesh divider as it carved steadily under. The pirate's acclimated Observation Haki proved fruitful once more.

When I was reading this, I found your vocabulary was a bit superfluous, just keep in mind we want the words to flow on the “tongue” so to speak, and sound good in our heads to match the sentences, we don’t want a tangle of adjectives in our heads, or dead words that weigh down the sentence that would otherwise be light and buoyant.

marine's abdominal region.

Abdominal region struck me as a bit plain, instead, spice it up, your competition brought his a-game and you both are very evenly matched!

Drawn into a frenzy of laborious shuffles and shirks, Luffy exploited his superior agility and spunk. Akin to a monkey swinging from branch to branch,

I am voicing this because I think its a bit mentionable, “much akin” might sound a bit better, but I know you have a word limit to keep in mind.

A stray slug whizzed true, gouging a superficial dollop of muscle from his pliable tricep.

Keep in mind, we don’t want our descriptions to be flat. While the word dexterity and usage is anything but, I felt like it was a lot of words. Those like “pliable” and “true” just seem placed/switched in their extra at the last minute. It is okay to say that “a stray slug whizzed by” and I think it simplifies it so that the the description doesn’t get in the way of the reader imagining the action.

A mere glancing blow, though it may as well have been a point-blank of buckshot as seething pain leaked from the virulent flesh wound. His veins pulsed and purpled near the cauterized entry point, evidence of myriad infections seeping in.

Watch sentence structure for clarity.

With a clack, the warmonger retracted his aberrant firearm. His lonesome eye scanned the field, searching incessantly for a boiling corpse.

While I really liked this sentence, I found myself a bit partial as to whether I preferred “a boiling corpse” verses “his boiling corpse” which makes it a bit more personal. I also appreciate how you avoided an excessive pronoun that might add confusion to the mix. Good work being careful here.

As the youth unfurled, his concocted assault enveloped and trapped the heretic within a prison of pestilent haze which disintegrated his fortified bastion. For the average mortal, such a corraling swamp of baleful miasma would secure sweet demise, but what of Mugiwara's hermetically impermeable foe?

Your word choice seems a bit hefty in your first post, but I noticed it gradually gets better as time goes by, don’t let your descriptions keep you from the feeling they should elicit.

"Erk!" the overtly resolute pirate cringed, slumping to a knee as he clapped a palm against the gangrenous cleft of ruptured flesh upon his blistered tricep. Crippling pangs of caustic death nectar slithered throughout the seafarer's veins, ravaging his central nervous system and fuddling major motor functions.

Your second post came out much better, and had a stronger start with your use of words.

After tumbling along the platform like a gummy rag doll, Luffy recovered with a clumsy skid along the stage, only to be rewarded by a ferocious boot from the garish goliath.

THIS ONE RIGHT HERE! I included because of your opponent, Okor. His sentence structure uses more commas, and also remains consistent with the use of tenses. His probably would have read “clumsily skidding along the stage” and I just thought this was an interesting intricacy to show the difference of styles. I actually prefer when writing and reading this way, but this really has to do with voice* I preferred not to put it there because of formatting. I think both have their advantages and disadvantages. In this case I felt like the middle part -while it isn’t wrong, nor did I dislike its use- could have been a tad bit reformatted to add the most minute amount of consequence to the final “only to be rewarded by.” This is probably the smallest thing ever, but I really liked bringing the comparison to each writer’s attention.

However, his reprieve of safety was a scant recess as his beastly foe pulverized the handhold with a well-placed spatter of gunfire.

I had this happen in the previous fight, however I wanted to bring to your attention that you used “the handhold” rather than using a pronoun, neither is incorrect, a pronoun can make it more personal, but you avoided any confusion of which character’s handhold it was, and I appreciated the acute demonstration of making your actions as precise as possible.

To conclude, I felt like you did well in this category, and I felt your clarity and description were better woven in during the conclusion of the fight.

Voice: 4
Your voice is exciting, lively, and free spirited!

Alas, fate would see it so.

Shunk!

"Gack!" the squirrely combatant quailed.

If I had any suggestions to offer you at this time, it would be to match the up-beat tempo a bit better to the flow, tone, and setting of your entire posts.

"Erk!" the overtly resolute pirate cringed, slumping to a knee as he clapped a palm against the gangrenous cleft of ruptured flesh upon his blistered tricep. Crippling pangs of caustic death nectar slithered throughout the seafarer's veins, ravaging his central nervous system and fuddling major motor functions.

The fuming extraterrestrial relished at the sight of his eccentric foe lying pacified, writhing on the frigid, metallic scaffolding like the worms that fed on his withered skin.

Ew. This was nicely uh.. described. Perturbingly vivid.

Doom–doom–doom–doom.

Drumming gallops of semblant cannonade blossomed as the densely fortified juggernaut thundered forth with steady jaunts, Mugiwara centered amidst the crosshairs of his begrudged ferocity. Every titanic stomp scarring an imprint into the battle-marred platforms, Okor snarled through degenerated chompers. Not one to frighten easy, Luffy stood his ground with visage veiled by a menacing shadow of spite.

I think your third post was your best one yet, and had you maintained that consistency throughout the fight, there would have been more impact, more display and consequence of the words you chose, more inclination toward your character (making Luffy a bit more relatable). I felt like the story and action were done well, but depending on your voice for delivery. Keep an eye on that, but, I also wanted to say that had it been a tad more consistent, your score would have been higher for at least this category.

I really enjoyed your gradual growth through this fight, and as always, love your style.

Character: 4

Heh, boy am I sure glad those arena bosser guys magically brought you back to me with that glowing, rainbow stuff! I thought I lost you forever to that cloaked creepo. What would the Straw Hat Pirates become without a straw hat?? Hmm, but I wonder how they did that? Ah well, it's a mystery! Kehehehe, 'least now I don't have to worry about letting Shanks down afte—

RATATATATAT!

While I found this insight on what luffy was thinking enjoyable, I was a bit worried in the delivery and it’s lack of consequence. Keep an eye on subtly hinting on what this should mean to the reader. If someone hasn’t seen one piece, who is shanks to them?

"Guhhh, iz zis whad Zoro feels like da day affer he guzzles down all zat booze?" Mugiwara leisurely secreted from his dribbling maw, summoning every morsel of gumption to rise up and steel his mettle.

I liked the inclusion of this dialogue, because it was specific, and also general. Anyone who doesn’t watch OP will know Luffy is talking about a hangover, anyone who does, will know the specific character you named. Luffy’s dialogue adds a little spice to the mix of each post, and I think you delivered this specific line very well.

"No, THIS is pain, boy!" the devout macabre interjected, plunging through the concealing cloud and hoisting his carnal reaper with far greater ease than previously capable, briskly rending the caustic air on its hungered path for the enemy's guts. Pressed for time to rebound, Straw Hat meagerly avoided death via bisection, instead procuring a gnarly laceration along his toned abdomen, adding to his collection of cankerous lesions.

"Ergh! I wasn't finished talking you gloppy goober!" Luffy lashed out, zipping clear of the armored husk's lonesome optic. Scanning the field incessantly, he spotted the stretchy scrapper above him in the nik of time, just long enough to see a mighty fist barreling toward him like a spiraling drill.

"Gomu Gomu Rifle!" The captain exclaimed as his corkscrewing mitt bore into the heretic's chest plate, his gnarled ceramite vestment crumbling against pulverizing gyrations. Amidst the heated onslaught, Okor managed to snag ahold of his assailant's whirling arm to halt its motion. Making use of his hulking figure, the space gunner swung his limber nemesis 'round and 'round before ultimately hammering the lad into the steely terrain.

"You're ten thousand years too early to lecture me about inner strife you doltish pup," he barked, casually awaiting his foolish adversary's riposte.

This banter was awesome! I really loved it because you didn’t overwhelm the reader. Usually banter fits well in the beginning and middle posts, however I felt like this promoted the plot a little, so I wasn’t too worried about the slight takeaway it may have had on the conclusion.


You and Okor had a very nice foil, even with your styles and sentence structures. I liked the alternating of light and dark as I read your fight, and felt like each character was “fun” in their own way. I enjoyed seeing Okor’s ruthless brutality, and then Luffy’s careless determination. This was really charming. You both did a wonderful job with this. In the future I would have liked to see a little more depth with Luffy, but I know with the word limit and his personality it is difficult. I wanted to be on his side, but Okor’s character really impressed me to the point that I had to give him the better score in this category.

Story: 3.5

Clamoring out from the death shroud, a shrewd battle cry snatched the marine's attention with haste. How any living being of flesh and bone could survive in such a visceral cage of gaseous contagions even he knew not of was a baffling mystery.

The integration of setting was very nicely incorporated in this post, it was vibrant and well-dictated.

Okor catapulted himself from corroded panel to panel; his stripped ceramite armor truly devastating to the heretic's defenses, though proved advantageous for maneuverability. Brandishing the putrefied bisector which had tasted the innards of foes by the hundreds, he divided the air and zeroed in on an immobile Straw Hat, primed for maiming.

Klang!

I said it earlier, but your second post got across much better to the reader, and the flow was definitely there. I liked how you interchanged action and I like it when you pause for sound effects (voice) I thought it was very nicely done.

Against appalling odds he surfaced victorious from that rancid hell, and this gauntlet of grisly might would be no different. This deathly bog would not be his grave; not today, not ever. Just as with the briny deep of the arduous grand line, Luffy would triumph over doubt and emerge a medalist. He tirelessly sought the title of "King of the Pirates," but for now would settle for "Champion of the Colosseum."

This was nicely implemented, however I felt like there was a bit of explanation missing for those who don’t one piece. I’m not saying to make your character universal, just keep an eye on that kind of thing. Other than that, I placed it here because it really showed your character’s motivation, and later you mention Luffy’s strategy to “thrash” Okor, (I was amused how Luffy just pronounces everything he is going to do) and I loved the dialogue woven in as though it were a part of the story.

It grew more and more apparent that Luffy was the impetuous hare in this voracious relay of wits and wills, and Okor the cleverly tempered tortoise. Nurgle's chosen had patiently worn Mugiwara down, whose tremorous blows proved effectual but held no significant value against a warrior lassoed by the threads of death itself. The longer this progressed, the further his odds depleted. The walking aegis needed to be felled now.

This part kind of made it feel like Luffy was losing, and I would’ve felt a bit disheartened had Luffy’s determination been so well delivered to finalize the post/fight.

"Huff . . . I can't see . . . can't smell . . . huff . . . can't hear. Ugh, can barely stand to boot," Luffy pondered, amassing the likelihood of victory and failure alike. But I've still got a chance . . . If I have no way to know where he is, I'll just hit everything!

Inhaling the distasteful air around him, Luffy swelled up like a fleshy blimp and proceeded to twist his torso around with several motions, striking curiosity in the marine standing idle. "Gomu Gomu no . . . " he incanted with a murmur before exhaling a torrential gust from his lips and uncoiling to propel himself forth at grand velocity.

" . . . STOOORM!! RAHHH!!!" He shouted with finality in his tone, delivering a wicked maelstrom of rabid fists akin to a gatling barrage of doom.

This category was well done, but I think there needed to be a little something extra to connect with the reader.

Grammar and Spelling: 4.5

Though muscular by his own right, in comparison to someone of Okor's stature it was little more than a sprig, effortlessly snapped under the smite of his boot. Dethroning his patented cap from the crest of his noodle, Mugiwara gazed merrily at it.

These two sentences I felt had a bit of messed up placement for commas. I would even go so far as to say that it could use a period or two. Like so:

Though muscular by his own right, in comparison to someone of Okor's stature it was little more than a sprig. Effortlessly, it snapped under the smite of his boot and dethroned his patented cap from the crest of his noodle, *the Mugiwara gazed merrily at it.

I made a few tweaks, and I wasn’t sure if I thought the last little bit was necessary, or just added a little extra words, so I think if you could bring consequence to that action, it would be a little more impacting on the reader.

brought you back to me with that glowing, rainbow stuff!

In my opinion, a comma isn’t really needed, because “rainbow stuff” is used more as a noun. I won’t be taking off for this, because honestly I feel it could go either way, but it is certainly one of those things worth noting in this section.

Okor lurched ever slightly at the display before him, mulling over his limited options, prepping experienced defensive measures.

FWOOOM.

"AIR GUN!!" he cried out fervently as a contrived

[/quote][/quote] keep in mind “he” refers to the person mentioned previous to the sentence. In this case it looks like it was accidentally Okor.

Throughout the entire battle, I think you did really well to avoid grammatical errors, and I didn’t have to worry about a thing. Way to make it easy on me, nicely done!


Luffy used :Using Tier 1 Super Move: Gomu Gomu Storm, -1 SP.

Total Score: 20

The Winner is Okor!