My writing ability

[Thaal Sinestro]

For me, there are two things I would live to tell you right off the bat:
Show, Don't Tell. Basically, this means SHOW the reader what's happening, like a movie, don't TELL the reader what's happening through exposition.

Like, for example, don't outright say, "He was angry." Instead, SHOW us that he's angry. "He clenched his fists, and his entire body went tight. His jaw worked as he cast a furious glare."

See the difference? One supplies details that IMPLY his emotion, and the other is flat and bland by just telling us what is happening. There's an awesome writing outline written by a dude named Ander (from another site) that has another great example. I'll link it when I can.

Use Their Senses. When you are showing us what's happening, use a broad range of our senses. Speak to sight, sound, smell, hot, cold, sharp, dull. Try to be specific with the sensation. What STANDS OUT or is strange about it? What kind of details does the character notice? What kind of details are important to your character? What about their life makes their attention draw to certain aspects of sensation?

And with all of those details, you don't have to tell us WHY they notice them, only that they do. It add flavor and the elusive Voice to point out those details without explaining exactly why they are there.

That's not to say NEVER use exposition, but choose your moments. When will your exposition support your description as opposed to overshadow it? Give us tastes of their inner thoughts, don't down us with them. Instead, SHOW us how they feel through the use of sensation for the majority of the time.