07-03-2017, 12:08 PM
“SON...OF...A...BITCH,” I grunted, half-running, half-tumbling down the rocky mountainside. I hadn’t really thought my movement through well enough, my bum leg making it basically impossible to stay on my feet as I ventured down. After nearly a full minute of flailing and faceplanting I came to a more or less level area and got shakily to my feet. “I hope they cut that part out of the final airing. Really don’t want to end up on the gag reel.”
Leaning shakily on the my chrome support, I pulled my tablet out and double-checked my bearings. Fucksquad looked to be rolling down from the north, and hopefully Cell had taken Graw in the opposite direction. With any luck, my smart mouth could waylay their pursuit to some extent.
“Alright,” I began, shuffling toward the sextet of blinking dots on my map. “Now to just not get immediately ground into a fine paste. Should be...easy,” I paused on the last word. No, it definitely wouldn’t be.
Ignoring the nagging feeling that this was a horrible idea, I continued to hazard through the uneven terrain, still thoroughly soaked from the incessant downpour. Though I had JUST consumed an ungodly amount of alcohol with the boys not long ago at all, I could feel my buzz wearing off. Stupid adrenaline, robbing me of my good time. Just one more threat I’d have to beat into submission with sheer stupidity.
“Fuck you, headache,” I murmured, pulling the last pair of airline-sized bottles of whiskey from my cargo pocket. I glugged back the contents, savoring the earthy burn at the back of my throat. “Nothing like a little liquid courage.”
A notable ping shook me from my Action Movie-esque musings as my tablet signaled an update. My mouth fell open as I observed the group of six blips suddenly shift eastward.
“Oh no you don’t, you slippery fucks.”
Leaning shakily on the my chrome support, I pulled my tablet out and double-checked my bearings. Fucksquad looked to be rolling down from the north, and hopefully Cell had taken Graw in the opposite direction. With any luck, my smart mouth could waylay their pursuit to some extent.
“Alright,” I began, shuffling toward the sextet of blinking dots on my map. “Now to just not get immediately ground into a fine paste. Should be...easy,” I paused on the last word. No, it definitely wouldn’t be.
Ignoring the nagging feeling that this was a horrible idea, I continued to hazard through the uneven terrain, still thoroughly soaked from the incessant downpour. Though I had JUST consumed an ungodly amount of alcohol with the boys not long ago at all, I could feel my buzz wearing off. Stupid adrenaline, robbing me of my good time. Just one more threat I’d have to beat into submission with sheer stupidity.
“Fuck you, headache,” I murmured, pulling the last pair of airline-sized bottles of whiskey from my cargo pocket. I glugged back the contents, savoring the earthy burn at the back of my throat. “Nothing like a little liquid courage.”
A notable ping shook me from my Action Movie-esque musings as my tablet signaled an update. My mouth fell open as I observed the group of six blips suddenly shift eastward.
“Oh no you don’t, you slippery fucks.”
Quote:E9 → D1
![[Image: sterling-archer.jpg]](https://hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/sterling-archer.jpg)

