Let's Read: Book Club #18

[Yu Kanda]

The Hunt for Home

Well, were do we begin. I didn't know the character Emerald that well at first, so i started doing some research on her. After reading a bit more about Emerald ( who she was and what universe she came from ) i started to read The Hunt for Home.

As many fresh primes Emerald had questions and had to adjust to the new world around her. Something that your first post started off with very well. Nothing was over the top, you portrayed her as a calm yet left a trace of fear of the unknown in there.

Omniverse? Where did that come from? She thought, raising her hand to her head again as it ached. It must have something to do with that figure i remember... Fuck, i don't even remember what he looked like

This was one of the perfect examples of her mixed feeling of the Omniverse you described very well, this set the tone for the rest of the post ( at least for me).

During your second post Emerald started to discover the Tangled green. You described it as a large forest and i did enjoy the easy read-through. But, if i am allowed to give you a tip to give this post a bit of extra *pop* to it, its don't be afraid to add some more details in there. For example :

outside of the numerous trees of extraordinary size that lined the clearing's edge, and those that stood behind them. Many stood so close together, and grew so large and full, that it began hard to see deep into the forest past them, often no more than three to four trees deep.

You described a dense forest with large trees, but what kind of trees, were they healthy ? any marks on them ? Animals leaving trails near them. These little things would finish the scene and draw a reader in there. Please don't get me wrong i loved the post, just wanted to give you a tip to improve it even more.
Then we come to my favorite post of it all, the third post, the flashback post.

This was amazingly done, it added allot of depth to your character. It allowed the reader to get more involved with the person that is Emerald. Never hold these back, flashbacks are great if they are relative to the story, which it was. I really loved the depth you put in this post, all i can do is provide you with one of my favorite parts of that post :

The father grabbed his son, pulling him quickly over to stand in front of him. Grabbing the rifles off his back, the father ready the gun to be fired, and quickly handed it to his son. The son looked at his father, seemingly unwilling to kill the animals, but the father had other idea

All in all it was a nice easy read, you had a nice balance of both intense and laid back moments. Best tip I can give you is put in some extra details Keep it up !