Secondary Saga Reviews

[Gildarts]

Disclaimer: I just wanted to say ahead of time, to everyone, that I made this thread for you guys's benefit, not because I wanted to relive the beauty of the saga, so I don't want anyone who got a lower score or may not have been able to post, to feel self conscious, or in any way offended. I want to give an honest review to help your writing in the future and just maybe answer a few questions you might've had. I also want to say that I think the saga was graded fairly, and that those who remained consistently active did receive less/no late penalties, because activity (while it was not graded directly on the scorecard -think a battle scorecard-) it did play a factor in the delivery and success of the character. I think a few people had to post late some rounds, and I think that that kind of think does hurt the score, because it inhibits some of the roleplaying goals for the other characters, but we also realize that RL just happens, and being understanding to that helps to give people a chance to rebound rather than immediate death.



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Oh, cool. I would kindly like to know my scores and what i can improve on (besides to really get into charactet motives). I know the reason i was oht was because of that ruahed last post °^° and that my oroginal post was lost in the depths of the omniverse... but ive been trying to read a little bit of saga and hopefull get through it over next break ^-^

<3

Word choice and believability: did the internal and external dialogue for iris feel like it was true to the personality i created for her?

I think for the most part it was true to the personality, however there were some times I felt like it deviated from what I expected, that doesn't mean it was wrong though, because character concepts can develop and change over time to override exactly what the reader expects. I liked the interactions that Iris did have with the other group members, but I was hoping to see a little more bonds to grow with the character.

The "functions": critique on iris's inrernal functions that read out her internal processes and such, written in italics and later manifested as an alternate personailty.

Overall: pretty much how i did overall in my posts (besides saga 5....)and any other critique i could use.

WOOO let's do this! To let you know how I plan on reviewing, I'm not going to pull up every post, but rather, I'll bring up the scorecard and a single post from each of the rounds, and I'll go from there~

Round one!
You got a moderate injury this round, which means you did about average! For this round, to improve, I think reflections on the events could have been emphasized to show and bring out certain characteristics in your character. You got a high interest grade, which means that we wanted to hear more from you, but I think you arrived a little later, so were unable to fully participate.

Number two!
Your previous injury took a toll on you this round, and there were other variables that hurt you as well. Iris's interest was still there, but there were some things we were looking for that weren't quite fulfilled, so you got rated "average" in those categories (I believe because of the sheer number of people and some stuff that he competitors brought to that round, it struggled to give your character a space to shine), rather than a full grade. It was nothing too serious, just the accumulation of the previous injury and the smaller deductions so early hurt the score a bit later.

Three!
Your post in a group definitely emphasized your character, your voice, and gave your character a chance to make themselves known. I think the groups this round, while nothing is perfect, gave characters a chance to develop themselves in a more refined climate. The groups were chosen by me, and I felt like I did a good job picking them out, as I gave a lot of thought later before finally concluding the decision, there wasn't a specific reason Iris was put in this group, per se, but I think group four had a good theme, and the players gave opportunity for someone to take lead, and create a story during the overall story. Ie "what sets apart this character from that one." This round, you were stronger with interaction, and storyline, but you were less strong in the categories you were previously consistent with.

Round four
This round I think there was a small struggle with clarity, and under the judgement, there was a note on a few grammatical errors. Those happen, we all make them, but in the last round you had an injury as well, which hurt your score a little. You stayed active this round, but there were some things you could have done better when describing and trying to hook the reader onto your character's personal story.


Overall: I really liked what you brought with Iris, she/ (robot "it") had a good character, and always remained distinguished in a certain way throughout the story. I think that you showed improvement after the hint topic, and I think that your personal voice added some good action to the saga. In addition, I think that there are some very good qualities which can't always be accounted for in a grading situation, because while during fights (like the camelot tournament right now) there may be a category for one thing, but it doesn't always take into account uniqueness or style, or other very good factors that your character and writing voice can contribute. I think IRIS compliments other characters, and I was really glad to hear it when I knew that our favorite robot's story wouldn't have to be left there.