Frozen Faygo Flyer (Acrobatic Fucking Pirouette, Take 2)

[Gamzee Makara]

The crabby alien laying on the floor with his ass and middle finger in the air was about done with this human girl and her antics. Truthfully, the insufferable troll had no idea what to expect for his first meeting with one of the humans. He kind of anticipated, oh, science or something, coming from Jade.

But nope. Just the cheery bubbly shit, coupled with an insane guardian attack paradox dog. As annoyingly endearing as it is, it was-

Annoying.

Something between a sigh and a groan escapes from Karkat’s distraught, crumpled up form. Exhausted was a good term to describe every fiber of his being right now, especially those concentrated in his legs. In a comedic fashion, the no-nonsense Low-Blood inch-worms his body over to the shower cubicle, rising to a stand only when he was actually in the shower. He harrumphs, not even taking off his clothes as he twists the faucet on.

The angsty teen sighs in mild relief when the warm water comes rushing out of the fancy-shmancy chrome showerhead. He doesn’t even care that his clothes are all sopping wet now. They were sticky and gross, and needed a good washing.

After a bunch of suds on his body and quite a bit of fruity miracles gone down the drain, Karkat stands in the middle of the floor, drip dropping water all over the place. His black hair, under quite a bit of water weight, droops in front of his eyes.

“This is just fucking perfect. Probably should have thought this stupid ‘washing up’ shit through a little better.”

Just like the rest of his life.

“How the hell am I going to get dry and presentable without-”

A robotic, metallic voice is filtered into the room via hidden intercoms.

“Drying. Presenting.”

“What the fu-”

Karkat’s confusion is soon drowned out by dozens of hidden dryers all blowing hot air in his face and general body area at once.

“...uck,” He finishes.

His hair is now poofy and majestic, yet wild and frantic. If it was a little longer, it might even rival Gamzee’s crazy locks. His cancer shirt and regular grey pants look like they just went through a rinse cycle, and then subsequently tossed into the dryer moments later.

Which is basically exactly what just happened.

-----

While looking admittedly disheveled the cherry-blood was pretty unashamed as he materialized downstairs, poofy hair and all. Jade is sitting on the couch by the fire, absentmindedly playing and messing with Becquerel’s snow white fur. The transportalizer whirs and whines. The human girl turns at the sudden sound. It is obvious that the internal mechanics and science that makes it work far too complicated for mortal minds to understand.

It’s a good thing she’s God-Tier!

Or should she say, Dog-Tier!

Awful puns aside, the first thing Jade notices is Karkat’s hair! She can’t repress the giggle that escapes her lips, grinning and smiling at the grumpy troll’s new hairstyle.

“Karkat! You’d be a great conductor for static electricity! Your hair, it’s so-”

“Don’t you even fucking dare, Harley.” The troll idly threatens through gritted teeth. “And that passcode was fucking unnecessarily complex.”

“Listen, we’ve wasted enough time. Let’s get going before Gamzee gets his clownish ass Murder-Killed. And I guess we can hang out at the carnival or whatever.”

He murmurs that last bit under his breath.

Jade is ecstatic that he murmured it at all. She yips in happiness, grabbing the frazzled, nubby alien by his gray hand, making for her newly erected transportalizer, one that would take them to Camelot.

“Be a good dog Bec! Make sure Grandpabot doesn’t wreck the house!”