Let's Read: Book Club #18

[Gildarts]

BC 18
Sorry it took me so long. ^^;

The Face of Your Father

I had read this one a while back, and marveled at how well done it was. I also wanted to reiterate, that I really loved the way 18 pronounced Caret, and when this was written, it was her perspective that really made me appreciate the character and to come, her relationship with the bandit. Now I’ll take the time to re-read and reflect on the story.

It starts out totally immersive. But not in the way you’d expect. Suddenly with just a few lines of dialogue, you’re there, with the bandit, learning her story, feeling inclined to ask more, feeling your ears incline to listen. There’s something about the way Frisco writes that always jumps off the page, I love his style and his word choice, and I love that when he writes, he seems to speak to the reader, but still dictate the story to perfection.

Introducing, the bandit. Eighteen’s style is concise and powerful. She makes a statement, with just a sentence. It’s always impressive how she shows the strength of her voice, yet when you read, your mind can snag on a few details that layer the setting, or the storyline with details that wrap your mind and unravel with interest.

(Just a small example)

That's where Caret came in. There was only the sunset and the sunrise in her world. The glow of the sand was the very best thing. When night came over the world it was dark, and cold, and a lifeless place. This was when she usually slipped away and tinkered and fiddled with bobs and ends.

For the future, I will say that during the first time I read the thread, I was a bit confused and thought Caret WAS the bandit with no name (idk how I took it from what was said, it just happened). It was quickly clarified later, and well, visually, but I just wanted you to know, due to the style of the posting order etc. that it was my initial interpretation.

Immediately, I see the connection I feel eighteen has when she displays Caret. The initiative Eighteen takes when she conveys the character is all her own. Word choice was keen, and I felt almost like she was writing someone whose thoughts she knew intimately (like herself or a sister). The connection between the character and her writing, descriptions, and the emotion behind it, was there.

I liked the part about the cars, “steel for steel, blood for blood” was very mad-max-y and I thought it was cool, reminded me of the new movie/remake, which was pretty awesome.

Her heart pounded heavy even as the panic subsided, her body tense and coiled, ready to do battle once again.

.. I just liked that sentence, so much was said in such few words, and even more between the lines.

Thaal wrote this part

The fabric plucked and pulled as it ran over her scrapes and sutures, and when it finally came to rest, she looked down at it. A hole rested in the dead center of the garment, a long red stain of her blood spilling out and spreading down her front, drowning the other colors of the filthy garment.

And I wanted to take the time to appreciate all the detail put into the thread, word choice, plotline, story details. It all conveyed a good sense of purpose to the dialogue, the actions that came consecutively, and I just found it nice to not feel rushed (as I know I’ve been feeling a bit like that lately) the style savors the moments that are meant to be sweet. It feels the the story takes its time. It very well could be said that it come off as romantic.

So uh.. Basically, your writing is desert? -> Yup. That’s what I’m going with.

To continue

With a heavy sigh, Caret gestured to the mess of metal. “What do you even need armor for? We’re just going out to the garage.”

Scowling, the bandit huffed and pushed herself up, standing for the first time in weeks. “The dunes don’t care if you’re just going to the garage. It’s got something waiting for ya every way you look,” she said with solemn assuredness. She sorted through the pile, eventually finding a loose harness. “You don’t wanna know how many times I’ve smoked some idiot who just thought ‘We’re only going to the garage.’

I liked this part right here, because of the implied context. Caret’s personality takes one turn, whereas BWNN’s personality is subtly told to be more seasoned, more skeptical, and almost more practical. I also like how you didn’t outright say it, but you let the reader read into it as well.

{This kind of thing is something I appreciate a lot when reading, because I think the details aren’t always going to be ‘said’ and that sometimes it pays off to be “listening” [or attentive] for them. Something akin to easter eggs and foreshadowing. I also enjoy allusions when incorporated in plot and relevance. I think I’ve mentioned Atlas at least a few times in my writing, I enjoy his concept, and sometimes blatantly say “Atlas” because I see no better way of mentioning it without his name/struggle. }

A gentle stirring formed in her breast, the heat of her fury stoked at its mere mention. “Revenge,” she uttered, her eyes narrowing briefly, “Yeah.”

I will say, during the middle, I would have liked a small trace more of something that would compel me to “stay tuned” for later. The middle of the story is often the part most forgotten, and strong beginning and ends of stories are often the most memorable part of movies and books. (Kind of like in harry potter I, when he gets on the train, you remember that as signifying his beginning, as well as Hagrid’s incorporation. Then the school year goes on and its suddenly Christmas, Harry has a sweater, and a new invisibility cloak. Then suddenly Harry has saved the day, Ron commands the chessboard, and then Dumbledore has a talk with Harry before the trainride home. In the middle- Harry makes a rival, (malfoy) he learns to ride a broom, he makes friends (Ron, Neville, Hermione) but those aren’t always seen as plot identifiers, but more modifiers. We remember them all, because HP is freakin’ amazing, however at the same time, the thing that sticks in your head is his humble beginnings - under the stairs, and the jagged patch on his forehead that almost always makes me think of the stairs he had to grow up under, and then his ending - in that book- where nothing every actually ends, -woot six more books- but concludes. Quaintly.)

Continuing, I noticed very few typos, which is sometimes taken for granted. You do a good job with grammar, and if there are a few accidents, they never really take away from the story. Proofreading is awesome, and always always always awlays pays off. (Intentional for emphasis, gosh it was hard spelling it weird like that).

I really enjoyed the rich depth that came with your display of action when Sledge made his debut. It was nicely conveyed, and there isn't much else to be said about it.

Very strong ending. Notable impact left the reader stunned, with awe. Yet it lead into another of bandit's adventures and reinforced her own character themes. Great read, excellent plot, awesome writing chemistry.