Frozen Faygo Flyer (Acrobatic Fucking Pirouette, Take 2)

[Gamzee Makara]

Karkat’s head was basically a slushy. Like, literally, it was covered in melty-frozen fruity soda slurry. He really hoped Jade had omniliminized up a shower or some kind of cleaning station, because god dammit everything is sticky.

After carefully deflecting all of this bullshit and eloquently reassuring Jade about his mental health, Vantas takes a moment to gather his frozen, cold, completely scattered thoughts.

One at a time, he answers the questions that Jade Harley has dumped onto his nubby little horns. He tries to speak with a speed that can be understood, but doesn’t leave any room for the little shit to ask questions in between.

“My trip was fucking cold and ridiculously mirthful, miraculous, merry, and everything else that I hate with a fiery passion.”

“Gamzee is being a fucking idiot as always, but his health, sanity, and overall attitude is just fucking peachy.”

“The Tangled Green is basically a big ass giant forest full of things that want to kill us. There’s also this town called Ambrosia ran by this Guu lady. She’s okay, I guess, but something’s kinda weird about her.”

“Adam Gaite is this smartass human kid that vaguely reminds me of Strider, but more annoying and less ‘cool’. Yes, he has fucking God-Tier Pajamas.”

“No, I didn’t meet anyone on my way here or run into any snow monsters, I was pretty preoccupied with not freezing to death in a cold icy tundra, never to be heard from again.”

Karkat looks around, drawing his arms tighter around his diminutive form.

A begrudging, “It’s nice,” is all he can manage about Jade’s home.

After a moment of warming up, the Knight of Blood’s eyes find Jade’s.

“Sorry for losing my shit. It’s been a rough existence." He begins with a genuine tone. “I’d give you a hug but you know damn well I’m against such overtly fucking stupid obvious displays of affection. And I don’t want you to get all frozen either.”

A soft glow illuminates Karkat’s face as he breaks the stare-down to look at his huskphone. The time: holy shit it’s wow they needed to get going.

“Hey, listen, I thought that maybe we’d have time to hang out here and talk about whatever it is that completely platonic friends talk about, but we need to get moving. The clown will never forgive me if I don’t make it to his first fight. ESPECIALLY if he fucking loses, can you imagine? Jesus. You got somewhere I can wash all this muck off with preferably warm water? Or something, I don’t know. I’m cold and wet and sticky and sugary and it fucking sucks.”