01-16-2017, 02:34 PM
The Issue
The human is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty human-kabobs and humanburgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the human.
The Debate
“This is an outrage!” shouts Hack Humperdink, outspoken member of the Flandarz Wilderness Protection Movement. “The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved humans. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild humans prancing freely in our forests?”
Accept
“Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?” scoffs Robin Hanover, employee of Flandarz National Lumber, “If they’re endangered it’s ‘cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests humans like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!”
Accept
“Nature is hardly a black and white issue,” Mario de Jong, a respected scholar, notes. “We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing human hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, humans raised in captivity don’t generally survive in the wild, but I’m sure we can find a way!”
Accept
The human is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty human-kabobs and humanburgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the human.
The Debate
“This is an outrage!” shouts Hack Humperdink, outspoken member of the Flandarz Wilderness Protection Movement. “The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved humans. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild humans prancing freely in our forests?”
Accept
“Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?” scoffs Robin Hanover, employee of Flandarz National Lumber, “If they’re endangered it’s ‘cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests humans like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!”
Accept
“Nature is hardly a black and white issue,” Mario de Jong, a respected scholar, notes. “We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing human hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, humans raised in captivity don’t generally survive in the wild, but I’m sure we can find a way!”
Accept