10-09-2015, 09:15 PM
Jade is about three-fifths of the way down the series of staircases between her garden atrium and the ground floor when she hears an odd, high-pitched keen. She halts halfway between one step and the next, listening intently as what sounds like the whine of a burner tube on a gas range heating up grows alarmingly great in volume.
“What the heck is that?” she asks Bec, the wolfdog having also stopped to listen. His ears are laid back flat against his skull, spine rigid and the fur around his neck upraised. Hopefully it isn’t some kind of ballistic missile.
A bit uneasy, Jade scampers down the remaining stairs. Just as her feet hit the ground floor, a loud “KABOOM!” rings out, like how a nearby thunderclap might sound through a thick plaster wall inlaid with iron half an inch thick. Or cannon shot.
From somewhere else in the tower, Jade swears that she hears her grandpa shout something that sounds an awful lot like “Man your battle stations! Fruity rainbow rumpus party incoming!”
Jade only has a few fleeting seconds to consider that particular variety of baloney before there is a solid thump against the front door.
In a few short, agitated strides, Jade moves to stand beside the door and listen for any signs of hostile life forms. Nothing, although it is possible that any vocalizations may very well have been swallowed up by the caterwauling wind.
She slides the door open with the rapid pressing of a few buttons, a worried pucker appearing in between her brows. The door slides open. Chilly air immediately rustles around her and into the foyer. As she moves to take a step outside, Jade gets a very dazed and very angry troll’s forehead knocking against her knees.
Said troll is demonstrating his impressive aptitude for lalochezia, although she already knows that he swears as a recreational activity quite well. He is positively fuming.
“Karkat!” Jade exclaims down at the black-haired troll. His clothes are all covered in sugary soda, and as she looks on it becomes clear that he has left a stream of rainbow-colored liquid across her snowlawn in his spluttering wake.
When she tries to pinpoint the exact extent of the damage that has been done to her property, looking out over smoothly undulating waves of polished rock and snow that spread out from her place on the porch, she can see that the pretty expanses of silvery glacier-scraped soil and ice appear to have been splattered with food coloring by a three-year-old artistic prodigy.
Or, in this case, a Faygo Jetpack. She frowns at the eyesore of technology and fizzy soda pop that has torn a clear-cut path through her yard, sending cascades of snow and carbonated drink erupting all over the place. Seriously, who even thought to make this piece of crap?
“Uuugh, look at what your jetpack did to my snowlawn!” the Witch laments, looking mournfully at a very specific pile of clumped snow, because he blew right through her future snowtroll! She’ll have to build another one, when she has the time. For now, she has an irritable troll to tug out of the cold.
With a huff, Jade seizes Karkat under his arms and hauls him inside, the door sliding shut behind them without a sound. A trail of sticky soda trickles out from his jetpack and streams garishly across the floor. Okay, ew. When Bec wanders over to investigate the new person Jade swats him away, mainly to keep the soda from getting stuck in his fluffy white fur. That would be a damn nightmare to get out.
Jade is sure to extract Karkat from the ridiculous faygo contraption to keep it from getting sticky fluid all over her floors. Even if it pretty much already has done that, so the point is almost certainly moot by now. Ugh. Uuuuughghuhguhgh. Gross.
She has to shove Grandpa’s weird life-sized mummy doll out of the way to make space for Karkat to sit down on the sofa. There’s a stupid little twinge of embarrassment about all of the clutter that she hadn’t felt burble up with the dwarves hanging around, but Jade brushes that dumb feeling away. Instead, she turns her attention on Karkat’s possibly-concussed head.
Thankfully, he isn’t sluggish or hesitant to answer her questions about what his name and chumhandle are, and when she waggles her fingers in front of his face he is quick to track their movements well with his eyes. Good, there is proooobably no serious damage, then!
“What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?” Karkat asks, sneering as she jubilantly waves her hands in front of his face. Jade chooses to ignore this question.
Her brain is simply abuzz with excitement over having a friend within reach. Seriously, it’s like there are a dozen fat little bumblebees whirring around in there, doing fat little bumblebee things and having a grand old time.
“Oh my gosh. That’s one serious lump,” she says, patting lightly at the slowly-swelling bump that is forming on the top of his head with a single finger. “I mean, it’s small so it’s not too bad, but I bet it hurts like hell!”
It does, in fact, hurt like hell. The low-blooded troll curls his lip at her, completely forgoing casual politeness, gratitude, respect, and a whole other laundry list of pleasant qualities that he doesn’t possess. This is to be expected. But boy, does he have sharp teeth!
Nevertheless, Jade frowns spectacularly at him. “Hey, don’t give me that look! You did this to yourself with whatever… dumb… totally impractical… thing that is.” She indicates the Miraculous Elixirizer with a tilt of her head.
God. She just can’t get over how shitty that deathtrap-y thing is. Apparently it worked, too, which is a ginormous miracle in and of itself. Leisurely melting soda slogs out of the bottles and onto the floor, all the colors of the rainbow mixing together into a disgusting, soupy color that Jade can’t bring herself to identify.
To make matters worse, Karkat’s super cold! She wonders why on earth he didn’t try and make Gamzee throw together some proper winter wear, but then surmises that it was probably just the troll’s stubborn disposition that did it. Anyways, he’s shivering a lot, claws digging into his upper arms as he clutches at them to conserve whatever body heat remains.
Jade unceremoniously shoves the valiant knight doll off of the couch so that Karkat can be nearer to the roaring fireplace. She plops herself down beside him, giving him a moment to warm up before speaking.
“Sooooo.” Jade starts, the beginnings of a grin fluttering across her lips.
“So what.” Karkat grouses, rubbing his palms together and shifting closer to the fire. He hedges warily beside the taxidermied corpse of Jade’s wrinkly guardian, being sure to give it a wide berth.
“Soooooooo, how was your trip? How’s Gamzee? What’s this Tangled Green place like? Who’s this Adam? Is he nice? Ooo! Does he have cool pajamas, like us?” Jade pauses for a half-second to take a short breath.
Karkat opens his mouth to speak. “Harley—“
She doesn’t even let him finish. “Did you meet anyone on your way over? Did you see any snowbeasts? Do you like my tower? Wait, wait, don’t answer any of those, you’re looking a little dazed— how many fingers am I holding up?” Jade proceeds to shove approximately three fingers precariously close to his eye sockets, and Karkat barely resists the hind-brain instinct to rip them off.
“Jade, stop flipping your shit for one fucking second.”
Her mouth shuts with an audible click. Karkat takes a deep breath, the incessant chattering of his teeth gradually dying down, and then lets loose.
”I don’t know what I would be acting like if I had ‘serious head trauma’ like you seem to think I have, but let me reassure you that if my think pan were sufficiently rattled I still wouldn’t be putting up with your particular brand of horseshit.”
Jade blinks at him, seeming to be utterly aghast. Then, she grins toothily, her usual cheer returning full-force.
“Well, that’s as good of a reason to believe you as any, I guess!”
“What the heck is that?” she asks Bec, the wolfdog having also stopped to listen. His ears are laid back flat against his skull, spine rigid and the fur around his neck upraised. Hopefully it isn’t some kind of ballistic missile.
A bit uneasy, Jade scampers down the remaining stairs. Just as her feet hit the ground floor, a loud “KABOOM!” rings out, like how a nearby thunderclap might sound through a thick plaster wall inlaid with iron half an inch thick. Or cannon shot.
From somewhere else in the tower, Jade swears that she hears her grandpa shout something that sounds an awful lot like “Man your battle stations! Fruity rainbow rumpus party incoming!”
Jade only has a few fleeting seconds to consider that particular variety of baloney before there is a solid thump against the front door.
In a few short, agitated strides, Jade moves to stand beside the door and listen for any signs of hostile life forms. Nothing, although it is possible that any vocalizations may very well have been swallowed up by the caterwauling wind.
She slides the door open with the rapid pressing of a few buttons, a worried pucker appearing in between her brows. The door slides open. Chilly air immediately rustles around her and into the foyer. As she moves to take a step outside, Jade gets a very dazed and very angry troll’s forehead knocking against her knees.
Said troll is demonstrating his impressive aptitude for lalochezia, although she already knows that he swears as a recreational activity quite well. He is positively fuming.
“Karkat!” Jade exclaims down at the black-haired troll. His clothes are all covered in sugary soda, and as she looks on it becomes clear that he has left a stream of rainbow-colored liquid across her snowlawn in his spluttering wake.
When she tries to pinpoint the exact extent of the damage that has been done to her property, looking out over smoothly undulating waves of polished rock and snow that spread out from her place on the porch, she can see that the pretty expanses of silvery glacier-scraped soil and ice appear to have been splattered with food coloring by a three-year-old artistic prodigy.
Or, in this case, a Faygo Jetpack. She frowns at the eyesore of technology and fizzy soda pop that has torn a clear-cut path through her yard, sending cascades of snow and carbonated drink erupting all over the place. Seriously, who even thought to make this piece of crap?
“Uuugh, look at what your jetpack did to my snowlawn!” the Witch laments, looking mournfully at a very specific pile of clumped snow, because he blew right through her future snowtroll! She’ll have to build another one, when she has the time. For now, she has an irritable troll to tug out of the cold.
With a huff, Jade seizes Karkat under his arms and hauls him inside, the door sliding shut behind them without a sound. A trail of sticky soda trickles out from his jetpack and streams garishly across the floor. Okay, ew. When Bec wanders over to investigate the new person Jade swats him away, mainly to keep the soda from getting stuck in his fluffy white fur. That would be a damn nightmare to get out.
Jade is sure to extract Karkat from the ridiculous faygo contraption to keep it from getting sticky fluid all over her floors. Even if it pretty much already has done that, so the point is almost certainly moot by now. Ugh. Uuuuughghuhguhgh. Gross.
She has to shove Grandpa’s weird life-sized mummy doll out of the way to make space for Karkat to sit down on the sofa. There’s a stupid little twinge of embarrassment about all of the clutter that she hadn’t felt burble up with the dwarves hanging around, but Jade brushes that dumb feeling away. Instead, she turns her attention on Karkat’s possibly-concussed head.
Thankfully, he isn’t sluggish or hesitant to answer her questions about what his name and chumhandle are, and when she waggles her fingers in front of his face he is quick to track their movements well with his eyes. Good, there is proooobably no serious damage, then!
“What in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?” Karkat asks, sneering as she jubilantly waves her hands in front of his face. Jade chooses to ignore this question.
Her brain is simply abuzz with excitement over having a friend within reach. Seriously, it’s like there are a dozen fat little bumblebees whirring around in there, doing fat little bumblebee things and having a grand old time.
“Oh my gosh. That’s one serious lump,” she says, patting lightly at the slowly-swelling bump that is forming on the top of his head with a single finger. “I mean, it’s small so it’s not too bad, but I bet it hurts like hell!”
It does, in fact, hurt like hell. The low-blooded troll curls his lip at her, completely forgoing casual politeness, gratitude, respect, and a whole other laundry list of pleasant qualities that he doesn’t possess. This is to be expected. But boy, does he have sharp teeth!
Nevertheless, Jade frowns spectacularly at him. “Hey, don’t give me that look! You did this to yourself with whatever… dumb… totally impractical… thing that is.” She indicates the Miraculous Elixirizer with a tilt of her head.
God. She just can’t get over how shitty that deathtrap-y thing is. Apparently it worked, too, which is a ginormous miracle in and of itself. Leisurely melting soda slogs out of the bottles and onto the floor, all the colors of the rainbow mixing together into a disgusting, soupy color that Jade can’t bring herself to identify.
To make matters worse, Karkat’s super cold! She wonders why on earth he didn’t try and make Gamzee throw together some proper winter wear, but then surmises that it was probably just the troll’s stubborn disposition that did it. Anyways, he’s shivering a lot, claws digging into his upper arms as he clutches at them to conserve whatever body heat remains.
Jade unceremoniously shoves the valiant knight doll off of the couch so that Karkat can be nearer to the roaring fireplace. She plops herself down beside him, giving him a moment to warm up before speaking.
“Sooooo.” Jade starts, the beginnings of a grin fluttering across her lips.
“So what.” Karkat grouses, rubbing his palms together and shifting closer to the fire. He hedges warily beside the taxidermied corpse of Jade’s wrinkly guardian, being sure to give it a wide berth.
“Soooooooo, how was your trip? How’s Gamzee? What’s this Tangled Green place like? Who’s this Adam? Is he nice? Ooo! Does he have cool pajamas, like us?” Jade pauses for a half-second to take a short breath.
Karkat opens his mouth to speak. “Harley—“
She doesn’t even let him finish. “Did you meet anyone on your way over? Did you see any snowbeasts? Do you like my tower? Wait, wait, don’t answer any of those, you’re looking a little dazed— how many fingers am I holding up?” Jade proceeds to shove approximately three fingers precariously close to his eye sockets, and Karkat barely resists the hind-brain instinct to rip them off.
“Jade, stop flipping your shit for one fucking second.”
Her mouth shuts with an audible click. Karkat takes a deep breath, the incessant chattering of his teeth gradually dying down, and then lets loose.
”I don’t know what I would be acting like if I had ‘serious head trauma’ like you seem to think I have, but let me reassure you that if my think pan were sufficiently rattled I still wouldn’t be putting up with your particular brand of horseshit.”
Jade blinks at him, seeming to be utterly aghast. Then, she grins toothily, her usual cheer returning full-force.
“Well, that’s as good of a reason to believe you as any, I guess!”
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Gamzee Makara Wrote:S’aight. After all, dogs have a tendency to motherfuckin’ bite.