Frozen Faygo Flyer (Acrobatic Fucking Pirouette, Take 2)

[Gamzee Makara]

And my God, the Frozen Fields was cold as balls.

Karkat finds it hard not to scream in pure cold agony because god dammit he should've taken Jade's advice and made Gamzee synthesize some stupid sweaters and junk. He would swear at the frozen wasteland stretched out before him but if he were to open his mouth, he'd get it filled with the white stuff.

It's snow, smartass.

After some time of aimlessly flying over the glaciers, Karkat suddenly comes to a realization:

He has no idea where the hell he's going. Jade never sent him actual directions to her tower.

Okay, okay, don't freak out Vantas. You can do this. It's just a shit ton of floating glaciers, I mean, this stupid Tower is probably huge, it has to be pretty easy to spot, even in all this stupid snow and oh my god he's never going to find Jade's eyesore of a tower it's totally hopeless he's going to freeze to death he's-

Suddenly, the Cherry-Blood comes to a sugary halt, his Miracle Elixirizer keeping him hovering in mid-air. He sees a distant silhouette forming in the curtain of heavy snowfall.

Could be Jade's Tower.

Could be a mountain.

Could be a giant snow monster worm behemoth thing.

Fuck this.

Karkat glances over his shoulder, back the way he came.

Fuck that.

With a defeated sigh, the alien steels his will.

Fuck it.

He kicks the jet pack into full gear, speeding into the snowstorm hiding the silhouette.

-----

White stuff. Lots of it, covering his face. It's fucking annoying. The only landmark that Karkat has to go by is the ever looming shadow of the possible tower/mountain/thing that wants to kill him. He was pretty sure he was making progress, but that didn't make this ordeal any less trying or annoying or tedious. The troll was pretty sure he'd rather be shooting himself in the foot.

Repeatedly.

To death.

-----

It's been a while. The low-blood hadn't really been keeping track of time, he was a tad more preoccupied with not freezing to death/getting lost/crashing or some combination of the three. It was a trying task.

At least by now he had confirmed that he was INDEED making progress. The silhouette that eluded him this far was much obviously closer. It wouldn’t be long now. It was also pretty apparent that it was NOT an Alaskan Bull Worm thing that wanted to eat him like a crabcicle. In the time that Karkat had been keeping his eyes on it, it had not moved from that position. It’s definitely a tower.

Or maybe a mountain. That consequently was home to some beast(s) that would violently murder him for food or sport.

Let’s hope for the former.

You’ll have to excuse Karkat’s shitty pessimistic outlook on things. He hasn’t been known to have the best of luck with adventures, quests, games, or life in general.

Ah...Speaking of that wondrous luck.

For a while now, the pilot of the Miraculous Elixirizer has been ignoring it but the problem has grown a bit. For the past hour or so, the alien has felt the jetpack grow...heavier. Like, literally, the vehicle has weighed down more and more on his back. At first he just thought that there was a shit ton of snow that had kinda like, congealed over the jetpack, but a quick check proved otherwise.

He thinks that it’s gotten to the point that if he stopped to hover in mid-air, the pilot might just start sinking into the ground.

What’s worse, the fruity rainbow mist that erupts out of the bottom of the Elixirizer has gradually begun to leak out of the misters as opposed to coming out as vapors. It’s not a comforting feeling. It shouldn’t be a fuel problem, the Faygo is still being fed straight into the engine.

The problem is that it’s getting stuck

Because you know.

It’s fucking frozen.

Just as that thought hits him, the worst fucking thing that could have happened, happens.

There is no more mist propelling him through the frozen skies. It just stops. No more. Karkat sucks in his breath and watches in horror as the tubes filled with the little fruity miracles fueling his jetpack s-l-o-w-l-y come to a slushy halt.

With a slew of quick, intense swears, the crabby pilot begins shaking his body side to side, trying to flap these useless fucking metal wings and glide the rest of the way to the tower its definitely a tower he can see it now he can see the windows and shit mountains down have windows it was so close, so so close FUCKING HELL IT’S RIGHT THERE WORK DAMMIT WORK NEED A MIRACLE RIGHT NOW-

Wait.

Hissing. It’s hissing. The Jetpack it’s-

---KABOOM!---

“MOTHERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!”

Karkat cries out for help as the Miracle Elixirizer explodes in a fruity rumpus chemical reaction of epic proportions. He only hopes that his startled fucking yelp is carried across the tundra to Jade’s ears.

The troll is propelled a long ways by the explosion, spiraling and turning somersaults through the air. Not quite an acrobatic fucking pirouette, but close. Fruity smelling rainbow smoke trails off behind him, clinging to his body. When Karkat finally hits powder, he skids like a skipping stone across the snow. He sends sprays of it flying through the air with every touchdown, totaling in about three or four skips across the white white ground before finally skidding to a halt on the illuminated doorstep of Jade’s tower. His head thunks loudly against the door as Karkat comes to a stop.