The Secondary Saga

[Proto Man]

Temple.

Top Man was reminded of a program he caught reruns of whenever he was taking time off in Coruscant. It was one of those gameshows where all the contestants were children. They were forced to answer questions about history and geography before being sent through obstacles courses in a set made out of cheap wood and plastic. In the process, they had to solve puzzles while under constant threat of being captured and dragged off into the shadows by guards, all while the jaded-looking host tried to stifle his snickering as the kids shrieked.

Unfortunately, this place wasn’t a set inside a production studio in Florida. The walls were made of solid stone marred with several species worth of overgrowth. Even worse, the android’s head was killing him—he’d taken a chunk of stone to the side of his dome. The impact had loosened the little white handle atop his top-shaped cranium, and even worse, it had left a handful of scratches on the paint job. With a scowl, Top Man reached up and brushed off his head, causing some flecks of dirt and orange paint to rain down from his skull. “And I had just got my hair done…”

Digging into his pocket, Top Man retrieved the camera and swapped out the lens for one that did a little better in these sorts of low-light environments. “Everyone still with me?” He asked as he let go of the free-floating camera. “It looks as if I’ve been trapped into some sort of temple.” Top Man glanced around and saw that he wasn’t alone. There were three other people within a few yards of his position. While he noticed three of the four from the general fracas outside, the fourth was Pinocchio, the wooden puppet boy he’d stumbled upon before the aforementioned battle.

“You okay?” Top Man asked, turning his attention to the walking puppet.

Pinocchio nodded his head after glancing all around his tiny, wooden frame. “Yea, I’m all good! No scratches or nothin’!” Top Man smirked and held out a palm for a high five, which his new friend was more than happy to dish out to him. “We’re not alone anymore.”

The fake boy’s remark was accompanied by someone walking over to them. If he was human, Top Man may have wondered if the head injury was causing him to malfunction, but since machines didn’t suffer concussions, he had to accept that he was staring at a giant eyed pony with a yellow and green mane. And since that wasn’t ludicrous enough, the thing was wearing barding and sported a pair of fluffy wings.

“Well, we’re stuck together in a ‘Daring Do’ novel apparently, might as well introduce ourselves.” It spoke.

It fucking speaks? Sure, he was a sentient android with his head in the shape of a children’s toy, but at least that could make sense.

“I am Private First Class Raw Onion of the East Pegasus Battalion. It’s a pleasure to be of assistance!”
Top Man and Pinocchio shared a glimpse as the smiling, big-eyed monstrosity looked from them to a young woman. The android looked over the human’s shoulders and spotted a stout little creature with a staff and green flesh. With a scowl on its face, it pushed passed the human-looking woman and glanced around at everyone else.

“We’d make a really good cover photo for an advert on multiculturalism, that’s for sure,” Top Man muttered as he looked around at the little group: Metal man, wooden boy, (fucking) armored pegasus, goblin with a stick, and token girl. “Anyone got an idea where we’re supposed to go?” The machine gestured over his shoulder with his thumb, pointing to the collapsed corridor behind them. “We ain’t going that way, unless one of you has secret mole powers or a very large power drill.”