08-08-2015, 11:38 AM
He can't feel. He can't feel and that scares him. All these thoughts man, these motherfucking thoughts. They're so threatening man. Not to anyone but himself, no, but that's what scares him. In the heat of battle, he couldn't feel the after effects of whatever the fuck that was, but now, now the adrenaline is leaving his body and its being replaced with an old friend that he thought he had said goodbye to so long ago: Fear.
Gamzee was no stranger to fear. It had been his companion for as long as he could remember. But therein lies the problem, eh? Ever since he had been dropped into this motherfucking Omniverse place, land of miracles that it was, the troll couldn't remember or recall where he was from. After that last, outburst of momentary rage, things came crashing back, all at once. It wasn't pleasant. He remembered being small, and tiny, still a grub. He remembered not being fed for days at a time, and being left alone in an empty, dark hive. Loneliness. That is what passed for fear when he was younger. Then, somewhere down the line, things got real. Like, real real man. Gamzee kept getting pissed about every little and all he would do is lash out at people that didn't deserve it, and this led to him even being even more alone and shit it was an endless cycle like that that no one deserved. Then the slime. It calmed him down, almost like a medicine. But shit. This wasn't no over the counter stuff. Man it was so good at first, it felt so nice so calming. It let him have friends. Friends. Man what a concept. They were all little miracles man, miracles that kept him sane. Sopor or not, his friends made him happy, and that's all he needed and FUCK he can't even think straight right now so many memories and shit running through his broken ass thinkpan.
The slime. That Soporific green stuff. It cooled off his hot-head and it felt good. Tasted good too, if you baked it right. But in the end it was bad. It was all bad. It suppressed the Troll's inner thoughts, them dark ones that he couldn't control, no matter how much he wanted to. And that was what was self prescribed to him, as it were, but DAMN if this shit didn't have side effects and drawbacks and negatives and motherfucking everything else. But, through all of that noise, the shivering, the random loss of consciousness, the nosebleeds, the odd seizure, Gamzee lost his fear.
This entire time, the troll had been walking down a dirt path he hadn't even known he was on. The exhausted kid sank to his knees, his hands pressed against his face. Some of these weren't memories. They were things that hadn't happened yet, but were supposed to. Unspeakable things, things that would've happened if he was back on the meteor. He starts to shake uncontrollably, his sight becoming watery. His friends, Gamzee remembers them all now, so clearly, as if he was just talking to them an hour ago. Karkat, Terezi, Nepeta, Equius, all of them were dying painful, needless deaths.
And he was killing them. Strangling, mauling, beating them to death.
His body slumps over, wracked with a soundless sobbing. The lonely clown feels his forehead against the cool earthy dirt beneath him. Damn. Damn. It's been so long since he felt such sorrow. This pain, man. It was almost worse than the hole the Sopor left. But this place, this Omniverse, Universe of Miracles, it cured him.
Karkat. That's who he remembers most clearly. His best friend ever, his best bro. Violet tear drops splish splash to the ground silently, one after the other. The one friend he knew would never leave him alone, never let him hurt anybody if things went to shit. On days when the slime pies were running low, and when a different fog clouded his mind, Karkat was the berserker's anchor. He was what kept Gamzee grounded. The vulnerable troll used him as such now, thinking of his happiest moments with his best buddy, like when Karkat helped him build the horn pile in the lab, so the clownish troll felt more at home(he said he didn't want to but he did it anyways cuz that's what motherfucking best friends are for!), or that time when the juggalo-troll FINALLY got his crabbier friend to taste some sweet, sweet Faygo (it had taken YEARS of convincing!). He thought of all these moments and memories and more, for a good while, until he regained his composure, and then he thought of him some more. Karkat, ill-mannered and all up in a fit he usually was, was the highblood's best friend ever.
When the troll no longer felt alone, warm with thoughts of his friends, he opened his eyes. He was still on the ground, but his cheeks were dry, and his mind purged of loneliness and grief and doubt. He vowed then and there that he would not become the monster that he had seen in his visions. There was no way in hell he was gonna let that nasty hate into his brain. It was bad for the miracles. The clown troll may be alone in this universe, but he-
"Gamzee?"
Gamzee was no stranger to fear. It had been his companion for as long as he could remember. But therein lies the problem, eh? Ever since he had been dropped into this motherfucking Omniverse place, land of miracles that it was, the troll couldn't remember or recall where he was from. After that last, outburst of momentary rage, things came crashing back, all at once. It wasn't pleasant. He remembered being small, and tiny, still a grub. He remembered not being fed for days at a time, and being left alone in an empty, dark hive. Loneliness. That is what passed for fear when he was younger. Then, somewhere down the line, things got real. Like, real real man. Gamzee kept getting pissed about every little and all he would do is lash out at people that didn't deserve it, and this led to him even being even more alone and shit it was an endless cycle like that that no one deserved. Then the slime. It calmed him down, almost like a medicine. But shit. This wasn't no over the counter stuff. Man it was so good at first, it felt so nice so calming. It let him have friends. Friends. Man what a concept. They were all little miracles man, miracles that kept him sane. Sopor or not, his friends made him happy, and that's all he needed and FUCK he can't even think straight right now so many memories and shit running through his broken ass thinkpan.
The slime. That Soporific green stuff. It cooled off his hot-head and it felt good. Tasted good too, if you baked it right. But in the end it was bad. It was all bad. It suppressed the Troll's inner thoughts, them dark ones that he couldn't control, no matter how much he wanted to. And that was what was self prescribed to him, as it were, but DAMN if this shit didn't have side effects and drawbacks and negatives and motherfucking everything else. But, through all of that noise, the shivering, the random loss of consciousness, the nosebleeds, the odd seizure, Gamzee lost his fear.
This entire time, the troll had been walking down a dirt path he hadn't even known he was on. The exhausted kid sank to his knees, his hands pressed against his face. Some of these weren't memories. They were things that hadn't happened yet, but were supposed to. Unspeakable things, things that would've happened if he was back on the meteor. He starts to shake uncontrollably, his sight becoming watery. His friends, Gamzee remembers them all now, so clearly, as if he was just talking to them an hour ago. Karkat, Terezi, Nepeta, Equius, all of them were dying painful, needless deaths.
And he was killing them. Strangling, mauling, beating them to death.
His body slumps over, wracked with a soundless sobbing. The lonely clown feels his forehead against the cool earthy dirt beneath him. Damn. Damn. It's been so long since he felt such sorrow. This pain, man. It was almost worse than the hole the Sopor left. But this place, this Omniverse, Universe of Miracles, it cured him.
Karkat. That's who he remembers most clearly. His best friend ever, his best bro. Violet tear drops splish splash to the ground silently, one after the other. The one friend he knew would never leave him alone, never let him hurt anybody if things went to shit. On days when the slime pies were running low, and when a different fog clouded his mind, Karkat was the berserker's anchor. He was what kept Gamzee grounded. The vulnerable troll used him as such now, thinking of his happiest moments with his best buddy, like when Karkat helped him build the horn pile in the lab, so the clownish troll felt more at home(he said he didn't want to but he did it anyways cuz that's what motherfucking best friends are for!), or that time when the juggalo-troll FINALLY got his crabbier friend to taste some sweet, sweet Faygo (it had taken YEARS of convincing!). He thought of all these moments and memories and more, for a good while, until he regained his composure, and then he thought of him some more. Karkat, ill-mannered and all up in a fit he usually was, was the highblood's best friend ever.
When the troll no longer felt alone, warm with thoughts of his friends, he opened his eyes. He was still on the ground, but his cheeks were dry, and his mind purged of loneliness and grief and doubt. He vowed then and there that he would not become the monster that he had seen in his visions. There was no way in hell he was gonna let that nasty hate into his brain. It was bad for the miracles. The clown troll may be alone in this universe, but he-
"Gamzee?"
If you're new to Omniverse Shenanigans, feel free to pm me about whatever piques your interest!
![[Image: dlpaou6b73f.gif]](http://www.auplod.com/u/dlpaou6b73f.gif)
-by Jade Harley
Never Falter in the Face of Infinity.
-Tearan Wover
-by Jade Harley
Never Falter in the Face of Infinity.
-Tearan Wover