08-03-2015, 10:10 PM
I pick my nose. There’s a particularly troublesome booger; I can feel it get pushed up every time I put my finger further in. But there’s a trick people like me know for this. I cover my other nostril with my finger and blow. It pushes the booger out just far enough. I’m able to get a grip on it with my fingernail — which is difficult, because I had my girls give me a manicure just this morning — and wrench it to freedom. It feels liberating. There’s still more detritus so I scoop it up with my pinky. I breathe deep and immediately regret it. The booger had been blocking the smell of pissed pants and stale ale. It’s time to get out of here.
I slap my hand on Old Ganny’s back and bring the table’s attention to myself. “As enthralled as we all are with this drama, I was under the impression that we came here to discuss business.” I eyed the red skinned devil. “This place is not fit for such discussion. While I’m all for discussion, you make a mockery of my ambitions by bringing me here.
“So here’s what I’m gonna do. Oi, barmaid.” I collar the nearest wench. “Would you be a dear and bring me some paper?” I let her go. “I assume all you people know how to operate a Den Den Mushi?” I ask rhetorically, though the blank look on their faces is worrisome. Maybe they’re dumber than they look? The barmaid reappears and I snatch the sheet of paper from her. “Thank you, dear!” I say, dismissing her, before continuing. “I’m going to write down my number …” I enunciate clearly. “So you can call me-ee …” To demonstrate, I hold the black Den Den Mushi strapped to my wrist up to my mouth as I speak. “Okay?” I look around the table and sigh. “While you guys subdue the locals, I’m going to go have a word with the pretender God who runs this illusion. With any luck, we’ll all be back in our beds within a few days. A few weeks, tops. If you wanna come with, you're welcome to.
“Anyway,” I finish, “Ciao.”
Outside smells somewhat less like piss and shit, but my Dragon still looks understandably peeved. “Aww, I’m sorry,” I croon. He turns his head away. “Let’s get away from this horrible place.”
Yes. Let’s.
I slap my hand on Old Ganny’s back and bring the table’s attention to myself. “As enthralled as we all are with this drama, I was under the impression that we came here to discuss business.” I eyed the red skinned devil. “This place is not fit for such discussion. While I’m all for discussion, you make a mockery of my ambitions by bringing me here.
“So here’s what I’m gonna do. Oi, barmaid.” I collar the nearest wench. “Would you be a dear and bring me some paper?” I let her go. “I assume all you people know how to operate a Den Den Mushi?” I ask rhetorically, though the blank look on their faces is worrisome. Maybe they’re dumber than they look? The barmaid reappears and I snatch the sheet of paper from her. “Thank you, dear!” I say, dismissing her, before continuing. “I’m going to write down my number …” I enunciate clearly. “So you can call me-ee …” To demonstrate, I hold the black Den Den Mushi strapped to my wrist up to my mouth as I speak. “Okay?” I look around the table and sigh. “While you guys subdue the locals, I’m going to go have a word with the pretender God who runs this illusion. With any luck, we’ll all be back in our beds within a few days. A few weeks, tops. If you wanna come with, you're welcome to.
“Anyway,” I finish, “Ciao.”
Outside smells somewhat less like piss and shit, but my Dragon still looks understandably peeved. “Aww, I’m sorry,” I croon. He turns his head away. “Let’s get away from this horrible place.”
Yes. Let’s.
![[Image: godenel_baronsig.png]](http://omniverse-rpg.com/images/godenel_baronsig.png)