03-02-2016, 08:56 PM
Drake just kind of...stood there as the battle raged around him. Zack was obviously enjoying himself, and had already offed like...what? Five? Six dragons? Was anything a challenge for the mullet man? Meanwhile, the Gorons were keeping the remaining horde at bay with a seemingly endless supply of bombs. It almost reminded Drake of anti-air flak, as the explosive spheres burst in mid air, injuring and deflecting dragons left and right.
And there he was with his tiny little gun. With a sharp sigh, Drake shoved the plasma derringer back into his satchel and clambered back into the clown car. Once seated, he leaned forwards on the dashboard, taking in the entire scene. Thirty to thirty five dragons with riders, most armed with spears and stuff like that. One gigantor über-fuckoff dragon with a man the size of a mack truck riding around on its head. Twenty Gorons chucking bombs, rocks, whatever the hell they could. The dragons' primary weapon, their fire breath, had an almost negligible effect on the Gorons' rocky hide if at all, so the only real threat were the riders' arsenal, which required them to get in close.
Drake became aware of movement to his right, and spotted a rogue rider with a beefy looking steedy baring down on him, jaws wide open. Drake casually mashed the ridiculous eject button on the console and was launched thirty feet into the air. Yes, he did indeed clench his butt when the dragon whooshed past beneath him. Once he landed back in the clown car with a thud, Drake let out a long sigh and pulled two ear buds out of his satchel.
With everything going on, there wasn't much time to be a wise ass.
It was time to get serious.
As the music began to wind its way up, reverberating through Drake's skull, the smuggler kicked the Clown Car into maximum and rocketed off directly towards the big guy. The giant, plucked turkey-beast had landed a few moments ago, and was lumbering towards the front of the caravan. Drake raised an eyebrow as he took note of the fact that all of the other dragon riders had now cleared a large swath in the airspace over the caravan. Even though he couldn't hear his own words, Drake screamed for the Gorons to take cover, just as a wicked green light began to gather within the lower maw began to gather at the back of its throat. It was all Drake and the rock men could do to dive out of the way as a caustic blast of glowing, flaming ichor surged out of the giant abomination's mouth. Almost the entire wagon train was obliterated in an instant as the blazing goo began to eat down through the metal frames. Drake pursed his lips, wheeling the clown car around after having veered out of the way of the blast. On a whim, Drake pulled out his UNI and did a quick geiger scan.
Oh goody.
The big one spat radioactive fire acid.
Well, at least the Gorons seemed to be okay for now. Two of the giant dragon's six eyes tracked Drake's movement as he whirled around behind its giant crest. From here Drake could see how the ridiculous throne had been mounted atop this creature's skull: It had been straight-up bolted in place. There was no way he, as a secondary, could conceivably hurt this creature, so it stood to reason that its true weak point was the guy riding on it, though...
Drake wasn't sure he could hurt that guy either. But he could do one thing.
Annoy the hell out of him.
Bringing the clown car around to the front of the throne, Drake looked at the shadowed face of its rider. The smuggler knew the look that the immense, armor clad bandit held in his eyes. It was the look of a nihilist. Someone who had long ago refused to make sense of the world and chose to simply carve their name in it.
It was the look Drake wore on his face every day.
But anyway, he pulled down his pants and waved his ass in the dude's face.
The big guy responded by standing up, and now Drake could see for the first time what the bandit leader's...fuck it...king's weapon was. A giant, polished gatling gun jutted out from his pelvis, where the king's gentleman's affair should have normally been. An ammo feeder snaked its way out from behind his back, like a brass, segmented tail. The smuggler's expression sank, and was able to cut power to the clown car's rotor just before being blasted to smithereens by the bandit king's lethal, whirling codpiece. Drake caught the clown car's fall right before it slammed into the abomination's lower snout, and the smuggler was greeted by a blast of hot air as the mouth opened cavernously. Great sloughs of gooey saliva spilled from its teeth as another green glow began to gorge its way to the top of the dragon's throat.
This was where Drake came into his own.
Leaning the clown car forwards with all his might, the tiny orb shot off to the dragon's right, causing the clueless behemoth to turn its head as a giant fountain of glowing death sprayed from the toothy maw. The giant, arcing line of acid immediately caught three dragon riders in its path, painting a giant stripe across the black, charred landscape.
So maybe Drake couldn't cut dragons in half like Zack, but it was something.
And there he was with his tiny little gun. With a sharp sigh, Drake shoved the plasma derringer back into his satchel and clambered back into the clown car. Once seated, he leaned forwards on the dashboard, taking in the entire scene. Thirty to thirty five dragons with riders, most armed with spears and stuff like that. One gigantor über-fuckoff dragon with a man the size of a mack truck riding around on its head. Twenty Gorons chucking bombs, rocks, whatever the hell they could. The dragons' primary weapon, their fire breath, had an almost negligible effect on the Gorons' rocky hide if at all, so the only real threat were the riders' arsenal, which required them to get in close.
Drake became aware of movement to his right, and spotted a rogue rider with a beefy looking steedy baring down on him, jaws wide open. Drake casually mashed the ridiculous eject button on the console and was launched thirty feet into the air. Yes, he did indeed clench his butt when the dragon whooshed past beneath him. Once he landed back in the clown car with a thud, Drake let out a long sigh and pulled two ear buds out of his satchel.
With everything going on, there wasn't much time to be a wise ass.
It was time to get serious.
As the music began to wind its way up, reverberating through Drake's skull, the smuggler kicked the Clown Car into maximum and rocketed off directly towards the big guy. The giant, plucked turkey-beast had landed a few moments ago, and was lumbering towards the front of the caravan. Drake raised an eyebrow as he took note of the fact that all of the other dragon riders had now cleared a large swath in the airspace over the caravan. Even though he couldn't hear his own words, Drake screamed for the Gorons to take cover, just as a wicked green light began to gather within the lower maw began to gather at the back of its throat. It was all Drake and the rock men could do to dive out of the way as a caustic blast of glowing, flaming ichor surged out of the giant abomination's mouth. Almost the entire wagon train was obliterated in an instant as the blazing goo began to eat down through the metal frames. Drake pursed his lips, wheeling the clown car around after having veered out of the way of the blast. On a whim, Drake pulled out his UNI and did a quick geiger scan.
Oh goody.
The big one spat radioactive fire acid.
Well, at least the Gorons seemed to be okay for now. Two of the giant dragon's six eyes tracked Drake's movement as he whirled around behind its giant crest. From here Drake could see how the ridiculous throne had been mounted atop this creature's skull: It had been straight-up bolted in place. There was no way he, as a secondary, could conceivably hurt this creature, so it stood to reason that its true weak point was the guy riding on it, though...
Drake wasn't sure he could hurt that guy either. But he could do one thing.
Annoy the hell out of him.
Bringing the clown car around to the front of the throne, Drake looked at the shadowed face of its rider. The smuggler knew the look that the immense, armor clad bandit held in his eyes. It was the look of a nihilist. Someone who had long ago refused to make sense of the world and chose to simply carve their name in it.
It was the look Drake wore on his face every day.
But anyway, he pulled down his pants and waved his ass in the dude's face.
The big guy responded by standing up, and now Drake could see for the first time what the bandit leader's...fuck it...king's weapon was. A giant, polished gatling gun jutted out from his pelvis, where the king's gentleman's affair should have normally been. An ammo feeder snaked its way out from behind his back, like a brass, segmented tail. The smuggler's expression sank, and was able to cut power to the clown car's rotor just before being blasted to smithereens by the bandit king's lethal, whirling codpiece. Drake caught the clown car's fall right before it slammed into the abomination's lower snout, and the smuggler was greeted by a blast of hot air as the mouth opened cavernously. Great sloughs of gooey saliva spilled from its teeth as another green glow began to gorge its way to the top of the dragon's throat.
This was where Drake came into his own.
Leaning the clown car forwards with all his might, the tiny orb shot off to the dragon's right, causing the clueless behemoth to turn its head as a giant fountain of glowing death sprayed from the toothy maw. The giant, arcing line of acid immediately caught three dragon riders in its path, painting a giant stripe across the black, charred landscape.
So maybe Drake couldn't cut dragons in half like Zack, but it was something.
And, we dream of home I dream of life out of here Their dreams are small My dreams don't know fear I got my heart full of hope I will change everything No matter what I'm told How impossible it seems We did it before And we'll do it again We're indestructible Even when we're tired And we've been here before Just you and I
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued