07-28-2015, 07:17 PM
BC 17
WTA-
While I'm writing in this thread as Molly, who is a BAMF, I've had a great time with everyone participating. I won't be reviewing this one at this time, but I just want to say, wonderful job everyone <3
DRINK UP, Me hearties!
Quite a vibrant starting post! Very descriptive with word choice and perspective that both lead into the setting while unexpectedly layering the folds of other surrounding characters in a pleasant and informative way.
Vivid imagery caused for some captivating action in your first post, and I notice that you have a knack for saying the things that need to be said in an enjoyable, pleasant, and never boring way.
Your first post is beautiful and in so many ways it shows how you have grown as a writer, and perhaps stylistically have become more refined, or should you prefer, polished.
Jack's dialogue is spot on. Nothing else to say about it. I heard him in my head (for better or for worse).
Another notable thing, is how you didn't go for the iconic, features, but sort of what makes his attire stand out from the rest. I knew it was Captin jack when I was reading, yet was drawn in anyway. His debut was very nice, beautifully subtle, and extremely tasteful.
And cue the screams of millions.
That was perfectly italicized, and the little things really work towards the big picture as well as just the excellent finesse and flow you had going.
To anyone who may have been surprised there wasn't more suspense for the death of dear old Brucie, the beginning was actually rather symbolic, and fitted CJS's debut scene because it didn't overplay it. This in itself was good to the whole picture (and effect of the plot) as well.
Jack's secondary status: makes the fact that he escapes death, all that more epic. You have to admit, (as I read that the goal is to find omni) it would be great to have immortality, and jack recognizes it as a treasure. To wield omnilium, but he is destined to be nothing more than a man and secondary.
At first I had thought Sparrow was a prime, but as this concept was denounced and he himself declared the opposite, I couldn't help but wonder. I also appreciated how it (the desire for immortality) ties in with his actual personality and characteristics. Anyway, lovely concept, intriguing and very clear way to deliver this to the reader as well.
"Whaaaaaat ! Millie is in this thread? No way!" Or at least that was my reaction before she went all badass on that guy. Very nice action scene, left a good impact on the reader as well as was displayed with vivid and fluent motion.
I was left a little confused at the alias but that may just be something I missed or haven't read yet about Millie. (SN: the name change/alias is oddly symbolic, so I quite like it.)
Void! Behemoth reference! *squee*
Anyway, as the story continues and the navigation is declared north, I feel like the hostility is played out well between sparrow and leviathan, and kind of leads up and prepares the reader for the action and unadulterated adventure that is surely soon to come.
Love, love, looove this one you two. Excellent writing, excellent interaction, and I can sense an excellent and exciting story soon to come.
WTA-
While I'm writing in this thread as Molly, who is a BAMF, I've had a great time with everyone participating. I won't be reviewing this one at this time, but I just want to say, wonderful job everyone <3
DRINK UP, Me hearties!
Quite a vibrant starting post! Very descriptive with word choice and perspective that both lead into the setting while unexpectedly layering the folds of other surrounding characters in a pleasant and informative way.
Vivid imagery caused for some captivating action in your first post, and I notice that you have a knack for saying the things that need to be said in an enjoyable, pleasant, and never boring way.
Your first post is beautiful and in so many ways it shows how you have grown as a writer, and perhaps stylistically have become more refined, or should you prefer, polished.
Jack's dialogue is spot on. Nothing else to say about it. I heard him in my head (for better or for worse).
Another notable thing, is how you didn't go for the iconic, features, but sort of what makes his attire stand out from the rest. I knew it was Captin jack when I was reading, yet was drawn in anyway. His debut was very nice, beautifully subtle, and extremely tasteful.
Quote: "but Brucie, you forgot one thing...
I'm [i]Captain Jack Sparrow."
And cue the screams of millions.
That was perfectly italicized, and the little things really work towards the big picture as well as just the excellent finesse and flow you had going.
To anyone who may have been surprised there wasn't more suspense for the death of dear old Brucie, the beginning was actually rather symbolic, and fitted CJS's debut scene because it didn't overplay it. This in itself was good to the whole picture (and effect of the plot) as well.
Jack's secondary status: makes the fact that he escapes death, all that more epic. You have to admit, (as I read that the goal is to find omni) it would be great to have immortality, and jack recognizes it as a treasure. To wield omnilium, but he is destined to be nothing more than a man and secondary.
At first I had thought Sparrow was a prime, but as this concept was denounced and he himself declared the opposite, I couldn't help but wonder. I also appreciated how it (the desire for immortality) ties in with his actual personality and characteristics. Anyway, lovely concept, intriguing and very clear way to deliver this to the reader as well.
"Whaaaaaat ! Millie is in this thread? No way!" Or at least that was my reaction before she went all badass on that guy. Very nice action scene, left a good impact on the reader as well as was displayed with vivid and fluent motion.
I was left a little confused at the alias but that may just be something I missed or haven't read yet about Millie. (SN: the name change/alias is oddly symbolic, so I quite like it.)
Void! Behemoth reference! *squee*
Anyway, as the story continues and the navigation is declared north, I feel like the hostility is played out well between sparrow and leviathan, and kind of leads up and prepares the reader for the action and unadulterated adventure that is surely soon to come.
Love, love, looove this one you two. Excellent writing, excellent interaction, and I can sense an excellent and exciting story soon to come.
![[Image: -Gildarts-fairy-tail-35651033-300-180.gif]](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/35600000/-Gildarts-fairy-tail-35651033-300-180.gif)
"I have never met a strong person with an easy past." -Atticus