Mr. Willickers Travels

[Guu]

Gerudo Village

I hope you guys appreciate my hard work, because this one took a lot of it!

In preparation for going to the Gerudo Village, I've poured hours upon hours of research into the people of that city. I've learned the native language of Arabic so I might fully immerse myself in the culture.

Upon entering the village, I was surprised how many women were lacking their traditional full body garbs. It was at this point, I realized that they were ALL women. I had come to the conclusion that maybe the women have finally overthrown the men in society and killed them all, creating a culture fueled by lesbian porn revenues. Coming to the realization that my life could be in danger, I was quick to put some pants on, cover myself up and don the best falsetto I could muster.

I tried to communicate with the local populace, but no matter how many times I said "do you want to suicide bomb with me?" in arabic tongue, I'd just get odd looks back. Maybe they aren't used to a white person speaking their native language so fluently?

Well, frustrated at the fact I was going no where, I decided to try the castle to get an official visit in with the King. But once again, the guards only gave me blank stares when I tried to demand an audience.

Desperate, I did the same thing that got me an audience with Lady Tyrande: climbing through a bathroom window! However, some woman was already taking a shower in there and she quickly kicked my ass on the spot. On the plus side, I managed to escape and got to see a naked woman for a change!

...not that I don't already see them all the time of course.

Well, I had a terrible time, but because I don't want people to think I'm a racist, I'll give this place my highest score of:

3/5