Elimination Exit

[Enel]

Feeling far better about my loss, I pull up my newly-summoned pants and head out into the facility.

Huh. It’s … far emptier than it was before.

I catch a member of staff. “Hey, what’s happening? Who won?”

He cocks his head. “Graowr, man. That was days ago. Where have you been?”

“Fucking … recovering, of course.” But damn, that’s a relief. Graowr won in the end. She’ll have my winnings, then.

Still, I’m a little incensed. I haven’t checked Twitter yet, but I’m dreading it. After voluntarily going to the colosseum, I got my ass kicked, and by my biggest rival. What a son of a bitch.

But, back to Graowr. “Where is she now?”

He cocks his head. “Probably left already.”

“What?!”

He shrugs. “They’re gonna start kicking people out soon. You should probably pick a destination and head home.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I wave my hand. I’ve gotten used to the impudence of these people, and I can’t be bothered to fight it on an empty stomach. “Where’s the food?”

There’s a café downstairs from the hospital, and I head there to see what passes for breakfast in the ‘Dante Verse’, as well as catch up on Twitter.

It’s … actually a hell of a lot better than I expected. Not gourmet, by any means, and a little greasy for my palate, but I fill up on what they call an ‘English breakfast’ while I dare to check my Dataverse Device.

My trepidation quickly turns to rage.

Of course there’s morons laughing at my downfall. But that’s not what enrages me. Apparently this … Tearen fellow was doping. Brought in a whole stack of healing items and other shit.

That’s allowed?!

What a fucking conspiracy! Apparently half the competitors were at it! Even Bats Man! There’s a small but vocal hashtag trending – ‘#DA12noitems’ – and they seem particularly happy at Graowr’s victory, she having been one of them. Since I used Batman’s device, I’m the subject of some debate, but clearly I was one of the few and honourable ones. I didn’t know Bats was handing me a cheat device!

I take a good hour, sitting in that café, to read up on the events of the competition that I missed. After I got culled to the colosseum, Graowr was pursued by a whole band of these … dope-guzzling normals, who tried to steal her victory. I make a note of every single one of their names. Gildarts. Deadpool. Jak Mar. ‘Dust’. Tamsin Suzaku. And Ms. Grumpypants, whose real name was ‘Dawnika Snow’ (was that a stage name? That’s worse than Batman. Those two should definitely hook up, if they aren’t already making out in the parking lot).

Next time I see any of them, they’ll pay the price for conspiracy against God.

And Tearen. Tearen the most of all. Which reminds me …

I type the question into my Dataverse device.

“How do you permanently kill a Prime?”

* * * * *

After a while of searching, I give up. Banishment isn’t exactly what I wanted, but it seems there’s no way to truly destroy a Prime within this illusory world. I’ll have to get out first. This whole business has turned out to be far more trouble than I originally anticipated. How many steps do I have to take before the final one?

I grumble. All this fighting, all this hatred … I need a break from it. I need to relax before I kill Omni. So I send out a message on twitter.

Then I stand up, stretching my limbs. I already feel ready to kill a God.

Time to go home and see who shows up to the after party.

Enel is going back to the Dunes.