06-14-2015, 08:03 PM
Needless Carnage
Again, another person I'm looking forward to writing with. I think you're got a really good foundation for your writing, and a lot of spine to what you're putting down. I think that by cultivating your already strong voice and style into something that's uniquely your own, you are set to be a really really solid and well rounded writer.
The main thing I'm noticing is that you sometimes forget the details if CHARACTER. How do people move, how do the day things, where are they looking, what are their hands doing. Small details build defined characters. Give your characters something to do while they are talking instead of then just standing there speaking. Key them go on about their lives. Even if they ARE just talking, they're doing other shit too. They move and breathe and change tone. Give us that closeness. It'll also help break up long periods of talking, making it easier for the reader to follow the conversations. Also, don't be afraid to have characters interrupt each other with across it statements.
That's all I've got for now, but let's keep talking! I love your stuff!
Again, another person I'm looking forward to writing with. I think you're got a really good foundation for your writing, and a lot of spine to what you're putting down. I think that by cultivating your already strong voice and style into something that's uniquely your own, you are set to be a really really solid and well rounded writer.
The main thing I'm noticing is that you sometimes forget the details if CHARACTER. How do people move, how do the day things, where are they looking, what are their hands doing. Small details build defined characters. Give your characters something to do while they are talking instead of then just standing there speaking. Key them go on about their lives. Even if they ARE just talking, they're doing other shit too. They move and breathe and change tone. Give us that closeness. It'll also help break up long periods of talking, making it easier for the reader to follow the conversations. Also, don't be afraid to have characters interrupt each other with across it statements.
That's all I've got for now, but let's keep talking! I love your stuff!
![[Image: sig2.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/KrimTheUnsettler/sig2.jpg)