06-10-2015, 05:29 PM
”You did it Deadpool,” the mercenary whispered, gazing into the bathroom mirror. He finished washing his hands and flapped them over the sink; droplets of water splattered inside the bowl. ”You got Advanced Regeneration—the closest damn thing in this dimension to your Healing Factor.”
“Shut the fuck up!” a voice bellowed out from one of the three stalls behind him. “I’m trying to pass a child-sized shit in here! First you’re talking about sexuality while pissing, now this?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
”Ever get your ass kicked while trying to shit?” Deadpool whipped his head around and snapped; he waited for a response, but none followed. ”That’s what I thought.”
Karl’s condescending eyes drifted from finalist to finalist. “Where is Deadpool?” he erupted, his smirk bowing into a frown. “I’ve already let one person jump ahead of him, and if he’s not here soon I’ll let another go.”
”I’m here,” the mercenary announced as he closed the room’s only door behind him. ”Me and one of your Syntex buddies were having a weird urinal discussion.” A lot more than urinal discussions, but it was better to keep the rest secret. ”It happened before the shit-stall guy, if you happened to read the stuff before the stars.”
“I don’t know how you slipped out without anyone noticing, or whatever the hell you’re blabbering about, but it’s your turn.” Karl reached over the Artefacts, revealing a Rolex under his Tom Ford blazer as he waved a palm over them; they lay across the table he leaned against, spread apart enough for each to be visibly displayed.
”Believe it or not, between my post and Strazio’s, about twenty-four hours actually passed.“ Deadpool sauntered down the isle, passing the other finalists as he neared the slick-haired host; his backstabbing friendemy, Mickey, had already left.
“What is your selection?” Karl inquired; as the mercenary walked up the short flight of steps, his thin lips curled back into a smile, and his visage lit up like a pervert witnessing a female undress as he gave the mercenary’s sculpted physique a lookover. “Still many rewards to select from—Stopwatch, Horcrux, Berserker Boots—“
Deadpool already knew what he wanted; a glimmering Artefact caught his eyes as he walked up the steps. It was the type of thing all prom girls dreamed of, and princesses too. The mercenary’s eyes lost themselves inside the Artefact’s ruby. He always wanted to be royalty, and hold a royal title; king, queen, prince—none of it mattered—, he would even accept the title of princess.
Princess Deadpool ”I know what I want,” he interrupted, and pointed his index finger towards the tiara.
You better capitalize the first letter to my Artefact, or I’ll smite you with my new Princess Powers!
Karl quirked a brow. “Hm?”
”Nothing,” Deadpool replied, ”just gimme the Moon Tiara. “
The ruby in the center of the tiara sparkled under the fluorescent the room’s lighting as Karl picked it up from the table. “Congratulations, Deadpool,” he said, and then handed it over
”Princess Deadpool,” the mercenary corrected, but received the Artefact. ”Do we have to take a picture together, or anything?”
“No, you did not win, so you do not get that luxury,” Karl replied bluntly. “I will have one of my guards escort you back to the portals.”
”Well, that’s a suck-ass ending to my post,” Deadpool murmured. He took his new Artefact and hooked it into his pants pocket as one of the guards approached him. ”I don’t even know where I want to do yet.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Karl replied, “but you have to leave here.”
“Shut the fuck up!” a voice bellowed out from one of the three stalls behind him. “I’m trying to pass a child-sized shit in here! First you’re talking about sexuality while pissing, now this?! SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
”Ever get your ass kicked while trying to shit?” Deadpool whipped his head around and snapped; he waited for a response, but none followed. ”That’s what I thought.”
* * * * *
Karl’s condescending eyes drifted from finalist to finalist. “Where is Deadpool?” he erupted, his smirk bowing into a frown. “I’ve already let one person jump ahead of him, and if he’s not here soon I’ll let another go.”
”I’m here,” the mercenary announced as he closed the room’s only door behind him. ”Me and one of your Syntex buddies were having a weird urinal discussion.” A lot more than urinal discussions, but it was better to keep the rest secret. ”It happened before the shit-stall guy, if you happened to read the stuff before the stars.”
“I don’t know how you slipped out without anyone noticing, or whatever the hell you’re blabbering about, but it’s your turn.” Karl reached over the Artefacts, revealing a Rolex under his Tom Ford blazer as he waved a palm over them; they lay across the table he leaned against, spread apart enough for each to be visibly displayed.
”Believe it or not, between my post and Strazio’s, about twenty-four hours actually passed.“ Deadpool sauntered down the isle, passing the other finalists as he neared the slick-haired host; his backstabbing friendemy, Mickey, had already left.
“What is your selection?” Karl inquired; as the mercenary walked up the short flight of steps, his thin lips curled back into a smile, and his visage lit up like a pervert witnessing a female undress as he gave the mercenary’s sculpted physique a lookover. “Still many rewards to select from—Stopwatch, Horcrux, Berserker Boots—“
Deadpool already knew what he wanted; a glimmering Artefact caught his eyes as he walked up the steps. It was the type of thing all prom girls dreamed of, and princesses too. The mercenary’s eyes lost themselves inside the Artefact’s ruby. He always wanted to be royalty, and hold a royal title; king, queen, prince—none of it mattered—, he would even accept the title of princess.
Princess Deadpool ”I know what I want,” he interrupted, and pointed his index finger towards the tiara.
You better capitalize the first letter to my Artefact, or I’ll smite you with my new Princess Powers!
Karl quirked a brow. “Hm?”
”Nothing,” Deadpool replied, ”just gimme the Moon Tiara. “
The ruby in the center of the tiara sparkled under the fluorescent the room’s lighting as Karl picked it up from the table. “Congratulations, Deadpool,” he said, and then handed it over
”Princess Deadpool,” the mercenary corrected, but received the Artefact. ”Do we have to take a picture together, or anything?”
“No, you did not win, so you do not get that luxury,” Karl replied bluntly. “I will have one of my guards escort you back to the portals.”
”Well, that’s a suck-ass ending to my post,” Deadpool murmured. He took his new Artefact and hooked it into his pants pocket as one of the guards approached him. ”I don’t even know where I want to do yet.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Karl replied, “but you have to leave here.”
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![[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]](http://i137.photobucket.com/albums/q218/Aerogfx/sigs/Deadpool_Funny.png)
Dante's Abyss Placings
2015 - 4th
2015 - 4th
2016 - 2nd
2017 - 4th
PVP Combat Record
(One-on-One)
3W - 0L - 0D
3W - 0L - 0D
(TAG-TEAM)
1W - 1L - 0D
[/float]![[Image: Deadpool_Funny.png]](http://s137.photobucket.com/user/Aerogfx/media/sigs/Deadpool_Funny.png.html)