06-10-2015, 11:43 AM
I told you I'd do this, so here it is. Sorry it took so long!
Oh, Warpool Valenchicha -- one of the most intriguing and fun to read alliances in the entire game. On one hand, you have characters which seem altogether deadly serious like Sasuke and Vincent, and then on the other, these two huge, ridiculous personalities that are Deadpool and Wartortle. It's an interesting combination, to be sure, and one that I was excited about after that initial F2F where Wartz joined your little group.
Honestly, Sasuke, one of my favorite things about your writing is the skill to which you can write different kinds of characters. On one hand, your portrayal of Sasuke is -- at least from the very little I've seen of Naruto -- pretty spot on, but at the same time you can also hold your own with Deadpool or Wartortle. I think this might've been your first or at least one of your early posts with both of those characters, so you can see yourself adapting to them, but despite the newness with the characters they still come across incredibly vivid, especially Wartortle in this one.
As a note, your portrayal of Vincent seems distinctly more tentative, but that may be because his character is forced into the background in this post, which seems to be set up as an introduction of Wartortle to the dynamic.
Your style of writing intrigues me a lot, Sasuke, because it relies a lot on huge imagery, whether it be your big, bold onomatopoeias or the way your dialogue seems to just lift loudly off the page. It's interesting because that stands in direct contrast to Sasuke himself, but I love that. It makes Sasuke seem like such a stranger in his own world, in some ways, and that imagery is really cool. I've never seen a writer play opposition like that and it is genius if it's deliberate and is probably one of the reasons you won the whole shebang.
If I had one complaint about this post, it's that I think Sasuke gets swallowed by it. You get some nice characterization of him in the beginning, but about halfway down Deadpool takes over and I sort of lose Sasuke amidst everything that's going on. I would've like to hear a bit more of Sasuke's continuing thoughts on the confrontation between DP and Wartortle, as I'm sure they're intriguing. (That said, this is a complaint I have with most people who write extensively with Deadpool, especially myself; Baron is a master at handling him, but I haven't yet found someone who could fully include him, stylistically and all, in their writing without compromising their own character's position as the focus of the post at least a little bit.)
All in all, this is a great post pulled out of a library of awesome ones you put into this competition. I envy your ability to write the whole group at once, because that's something I struggled with while with MESH and as such you might have noticed my posts often consisted of one-on-one scenes (Mickey/Erza, Mickey/Samus, Mickey/Pepsiman, etc), with everyone else taking a back seat. Great job, Grand Champion!
Oh, Warpool Valenchicha -- one of the most intriguing and fun to read alliances in the entire game. On one hand, you have characters which seem altogether deadly serious like Sasuke and Vincent, and then on the other, these two huge, ridiculous personalities that are Deadpool and Wartortle. It's an interesting combination, to be sure, and one that I was excited about after that initial F2F where Wartz joined your little group.
Honestly, Sasuke, one of my favorite things about your writing is the skill to which you can write different kinds of characters. On one hand, your portrayal of Sasuke is -- at least from the very little I've seen of Naruto -- pretty spot on, but at the same time you can also hold your own with Deadpool or Wartortle. I think this might've been your first or at least one of your early posts with both of those characters, so you can see yourself adapting to them, but despite the newness with the characters they still come across incredibly vivid, especially Wartortle in this one.
As a note, your portrayal of Vincent seems distinctly more tentative, but that may be because his character is forced into the background in this post, which seems to be set up as an introduction of Wartortle to the dynamic.
Your style of writing intrigues me a lot, Sasuke, because it relies a lot on huge imagery, whether it be your big, bold onomatopoeias or the way your dialogue seems to just lift loudly off the page. It's interesting because that stands in direct contrast to Sasuke himself, but I love that. It makes Sasuke seem like such a stranger in his own world, in some ways, and that imagery is really cool. I've never seen a writer play opposition like that and it is genius if it's deliberate and is probably one of the reasons you won the whole shebang.
If I had one complaint about this post, it's that I think Sasuke gets swallowed by it. You get some nice characterization of him in the beginning, but about halfway down Deadpool takes over and I sort of lose Sasuke amidst everything that's going on. I would've like to hear a bit more of Sasuke's continuing thoughts on the confrontation between DP and Wartortle, as I'm sure they're intriguing. (That said, this is a complaint I have with most people who write extensively with Deadpool, especially myself; Baron is a master at handling him, but I haven't yet found someone who could fully include him, stylistically and all, in their writing without compromising their own character's position as the focus of the post at least a little bit.)
All in all, this is a great post pulled out of a library of awesome ones you put into this competition. I envy your ability to write the whole group at once, because that's something I struggled with while with MESH and as such you might have noticed my posts often consisted of one-on-one scenes (Mickey/Erza, Mickey/Samus, Mickey/Pepsiman, etc), with everyone else taking a back seat. Great job, Grand Champion!
![[Image: 2agonyw.png]](http://i68.tinypic.com/2agonyw.png)