06-09-2015, 01:10 PM
Deja Vu:
This was like your own Scramble! A ton if characters, a lot of things happening. There are a BUNCH of characters going on here, so sadly I'm not gonna go person by person. A lot of you guys show the same/similar writing style and have some of the same strengths and weaknesses, so I'll cover the crossover. I only read through Deja Vu, mainly due to time constraints.
One thing I'd love to see from you guys is more detail. You explain what's happening, but you seen to be struggling to bring it to life, and the major issue in that is that you're not giving a lot of descriptive details. Starting with predominant senses for that action if event is a good place to start thinking about descriptors for these things. What color was it? What was the texture? How did it smell or feel or taste? All of the strange details that we spot in real life are the ones you should think about plugging in. The more sensory you make the writing, the easier it is to relate to as a person.
Another detail thing is the SMALL details. What are their mannerisms? What habits do they have? Little movements can express how the characters are feeling without you having to TELL us how their feeling. Does their eye twitch? Do they wrong their hands? Do they clench their jaws or bite their lips?
A legendary Japanese director told all of his major actors to give their character a tic, something they compulsively do, so that they had an easier tone covering how that character feels based off of when and how they do their tic. That's a common tool for a ton of mediums: anime, cartoons, movies. Your characters might already have some! Look for them in their original media, and if they don't have one already, you can make one up.
Overall, when you're describing your actions, try to give us a more complete sensual experience. I know WHAT they're doing, just not HOW they're doing it. A lot of character can come through these small details.
It was a blast reading your introductions, though! I really had fun seeing how all these different characters reacted to each other and I lived getting to know them a bit. I hope I get to write with you guys soon!
(Again, please forgive any autocorrect errors! I'm in the field and I only have my phone)
This was like your own Scramble! A ton if characters, a lot of things happening. There are a BUNCH of characters going on here, so sadly I'm not gonna go person by person. A lot of you guys show the same/similar writing style and have some of the same strengths and weaknesses, so I'll cover the crossover. I only read through Deja Vu, mainly due to time constraints.
One thing I'd love to see from you guys is more detail. You explain what's happening, but you seen to be struggling to bring it to life, and the major issue in that is that you're not giving a lot of descriptive details. Starting with predominant senses for that action if event is a good place to start thinking about descriptors for these things. What color was it? What was the texture? How did it smell or feel or taste? All of the strange details that we spot in real life are the ones you should think about plugging in. The more sensory you make the writing, the easier it is to relate to as a person.
Another detail thing is the SMALL details. What are their mannerisms? What habits do they have? Little movements can express how the characters are feeling without you having to TELL us how their feeling. Does their eye twitch? Do they wrong their hands? Do they clench their jaws or bite their lips?
A legendary Japanese director told all of his major actors to give their character a tic, something they compulsively do, so that they had an easier tone covering how that character feels based off of when and how they do their tic. That's a common tool for a ton of mediums: anime, cartoons, movies. Your characters might already have some! Look for them in their original media, and if they don't have one already, you can make one up.
Overall, when you're describing your actions, try to give us a more complete sensual experience. I know WHAT they're doing, just not HOW they're doing it. A lot of character can come through these small details.
It was a blast reading your introductions, though! I really had fun seeing how all these different characters reacted to each other and I lived getting to know them a bit. I hope I get to write with you guys soon!
(Again, please forgive any autocorrect errors! I'm in the field and I only have my phone)
![[Image: sig2.jpg]](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v288/KrimTheUnsettler/sig2.jpg)