A Criminal Elf, a Street Artist, and a Ninja Walk into a Bar

[Dr. McNinja]

"Whatever you say, Pikachu" Doc shouted to Daxter, throwing two more stars at some approaching ninjas. He slashed up three more as he kicked another in the face.

"Hey!" Daxter shouted, "I am not a whatever the hell that is!"

Suddenly, a ninja he was about to punch all the way to Neverland collapsed for no apparent reason. Doc looked around and saw a man that looked like he came from Jak's world.

"I hope that's an ally of yours," Doc muttered, before hooking his arm around a ninja's throat, jumping up, and using the enemy ninja to swing himself around in an arc and kicking three airborne ninjas on the way. It was like an upside-down ninja pendulum.

"Yeah, that's Torn. He's all dark and stuff," Daxter whined. "Super scary soldier guy. Reeeal rude."

Doc was about to start calling Daxter names again, when he noticed Delsin in the distance.

"Yo, Delsin!" Doc cried out, running his katana through two ninjas. He got whacked in the face with a flying nunchuck and he growled.

"Okay, I know we're shameless assassins, but COME ON! HAVE YOU NO SHAME?" McNinja shouted.

STOMP

Doc gave Jak an uneasy look. Jak himself looked back. It was weird seeing such a huge hunk look so afraid.

STOMP

"Oh God I know who that is."

STOMP

"GRAAAAAAAGH"

"It's Mongo the Uber Ninja."

The giant ninja stood solemnly in the distance. He was twice the height of Dr. McNinja, and had a belly the size of a cauldron. The only part about that said "ninja" was the traditional mask covering his entire face. Otherwise, he was big, clumsy-looking, and had no shirt whatsoever. But Doc had fought him before. Mongo was dosed with a mutagen of the ninja virus, which gave you sicknasty ninja powers. Mongo was almost superhumanly masterful in the arts of ninjutsu, despite his size. He was one of the only foes that almost killed the good physician... multiple times. ("He's sorta like Bane!" "YOUARENOTBATMAN")

The most terrifying thing about Mongo was that he was effectively a master of all weapons because of his outrageous ninja skills. His favorite weapon? Well... he was holding them at the time.

"Sooo Delsin? Now that the power collars are off," Doc muttered, "I was hoping you could help us out some. Pleeeeease tell me you have superpowers or something, cause, well, MONGOTHEUBERNINJAISGOINGTOKILLUS"

In a giant roar, Mongo's chainsaw nunchucks came to life and rattled as the blades spun terrifyingly fast.

"Man, I totally should have kept mine," Doc thought, preparing his sword. Last time he fought Mongo, he only survived because his master called him off. But this time, he had Delsin, Jak, and physics on his side. Implying, of course, Delsin was a good fighter. Doc had no idea what he could do, but seeing as what Jak was able to do without the collars, it was bound to be impressive.

The other ninjas started backing off. Good decision on their part. Mongo tended to... get careless when a kill was not as easy as it looked. Doc charged the obese ninja, hoping that Mongo let his guard down. Silly McNinja. Good ninjas never let their guard down. Though he was moving instantaneously fast, Mongo deflected the blade with ease and swung the other chainsaw down on Doc's head. Doc catched it with his own blade, but the force of it knocked him onto the ground.

By now, the other ninjas were now attacking Jak, who was fighting them alone. Doc was about to be turned into ninja kibble, and the sparks from the chainsaw and sword clashing flew in his face. Hot sparks in your face can be very distracting.

"Delsiiiin? Jaaaak?" he cried out, "I need help!"