06-04-2015, 03:34 PM
“You want to make me a what?”
“A Cygnus Knight,” the young Empress replied, “Only if you’re willing, of course.”
“And if I don’t want to?” Doc muttered suspiciously.
Cygnus sighed. “Then we will have to respect your wishes. You may stay here in our sanctuary for as long as is convenient for both you and the people of Ereve.”
McNinja paused to think, weighing his options. “Aaaaand how do I become a Knight?”
“You would have to go through the standard diagnostics training. And then a brief skills examination,” Neinheart interjected, “Afterwards, you would choose which division of the knighthood you would join.”
Doc shrugged. “Sounds simple enough. How long does it usually take to-”
“Six years.”
“SIX YEA- Holy shit!” Doc muttered. “I spent less time getting my doctorates!…Sort of. Anyway, I don’t have that kind of time - okay, let’s be honest, I mean patience. I don’t have that kind of patience. Can’t I just take the exam now?”
“Of course,” Neinheart snickered, “Choose your opponent out of these five.”
The Head Knights all prepared their weapons and stared Doc straight in the eye. He nervously turned to the blue-haired advisor.
“Aaaand how many of your recruits make it out of this fight?”
“All of them,” Neinheart assured, “Though the medical wing tends to fill up during our examination periods.”
Doc chuckled nervously.
“Uh… Lovely.”
“Choose Irena! You can sneak in closely-”
Eckhart eyed Doc out of the hole in his mask.
“Don’t be stupid, just pick the archer! She’s useless if she can’t-”
Doc stared back through the hole in his own mask.
“This is a terrible idea. Do you ever listen to me?”
“I choose Eckhart,” Doc announced. Everyone in the room frowned in confusion, except Ereve’s resident ninja.
“Naturally,” Eckhart muttered, smirk on his face.
“I'm confused, doctor,” Neinheart mumbled in Doc’s ear, “you’re trying to win, yes?”
“So I picked the easiest match,” McNinja replied.
This irritated Eckhart. He adjusted his gauntlets and reached into his pouch, pulling two throwing stars that could not possibly have fit in it.
“Toe-to-toe with a Prime,” he mumbled, “This should be fun.”
Eckhart chucked the shuriken. Doc nimbly side-stepped them and drew his katana. Eckhart had no other visible weapon besides his throwing stars. All McNinja had to do was-
SCHLK
The throwing stars landed in his back. How was that possible? Unless the stars were homing devices or something…
Random numbers started flashing above Doc’s head.
“What the he-”
Eckhart suddenly unleashed a barrage of throwing stars, creating a whole torrential storm of sharp, flying metal. The more he threw, the more purple he seemed to glow, and a black fog was starting to take shape behind his back in the shape of wings.
Doc dashed up a wall. These stars were definitely homing in on him. They bent their path in the air, striving consistently to land their target. As Eckhart threw more, they began to seem faster and more intent. McNinja found himself jumping from wall-to-wall to avoid them, even somersaulting between streams and deflecting many with his sword. Finally, he lunged forward and stabbed at Eckhart.
Eckhart abruptly cried out, “DARK SIGHT!”
Doc frowned and muttered, “What?”
POOF
Eckhart had vanished completely, and Doc slashed smoke in half. He muttered, “Cheap trick,” and listened for movement. Unfortunately, the others were muttering about the fight, and it was hard to isolate the sound with his nullified powers (THANKS OMNI) until he heard very noisy clicking.
“Got you now, you son of a-”
Doc’s words were cut short by a huge throwing star. Huge didn’t quite do it justice. The shuriken was about the size of a small car. It flew by him, and the wind as it passed by pushed McNinja back a little. He looked to see where the monstrosity had come from…
When he saw Eckhart on a ledge, holding at least six more.
“Déjà vu, * ” the French orc taunted in his memory.
Doc jumped in between two that flew at him, which, having jammed into the marble ground, shattered into a million more throwing stars that all readjusted their course to chase him. Doc jumped a back-flip, used another of the giant stars to lift himself higher, managed to twirl in mid-air, slashing his sword in random spinny directions, hoping to deflect as many as he could. The third monster-star broke and coursed another wave of tiny throwing stars.
“They’re like the slimes in Minecraft!” Doc screamed, “AND I’VE NEVER PLAYED MINECRAFT.”
The other three formed a neat little triangle for Doc to jump through. He rolled on the ground to catch his momentum, then reached into his pockets for…
Oh yeah. He lost his weapons. All he had was a flashbang.
“Sh*t.”
With a flurry of cuts, slices and bloody THUNKs, Doc was carried by the tide of shuriken. He was in a daze of pain and horror, as he watched as a thousand knives seemed to fly past him like bats-
Exactly like bats, actually.
Doc knelt on the ground, bleeding from every sliver of his skin, and looked up. He checked his body quickly - several arteries were cut. His internal organs were all but busted. He was a minute from dying.
And he was going to take this sucker out.
“That… *cough* That all you - GUH - got?” he spluttered.
Eckhart smiled and waved his hand. The anthills of shuriken that had formed were now floating up, hovering, slowly rising until they were all in the air, waiting to cut through Doc again. They grew little bat wings, and the holes in the middle of them split into two, glowing, purple eyes.
“They are bats,” Doc thought, “Which means they’re living things, right?”
Eckhart waved his hand again. The millions of bat-shuriken all charged.
“Alright, fake Batman,” Doc roared, “Let’s see how you like this!”
He chucked his flashbang forward onto the first bat he saw and ducked out of the way. There was a shrill noise as the thousands of bats all felt the immediate effect of the device. Wave after wave collapsed on itself, clattering on the floor, until a sizable mountain of throwing stars stood in front of him. The wings seemed to shatter like glass as they fell. It was as if Doc had actually killed the damn bats.
Thirty seconds passed as Doc struggled to stand up again. He pulled whatever energy he had left and stood up, bearing his sword to prepare himself for another onslaught. Eckhart stood at the top of the ledge, scowling.
“I usually have something clever and doctor-related to say in moments like this,” Doc mumbled, “But I think one of your Batarangs are wedged inside my brain.”
Eckhart looked ready to murder him, and laugh while doing so, in the most gruesome way imaginable. After a moment, he sighed.
“Well,” he mumbled, “I’m out of stars.”
Neinheart stared in disbelief.
“But how did you-”
Doc raised a finger, and sheathed his sword.
“I eat lots of fruits and vegetables in the morning,” he said, “And plenty of exercise throughout the day. And downtime is important. I read a lot in the afternoons. Or I kill ninja zombies. That happens too, on occasion.”
Everyone stared at him blankly.
“Well, the fight’s over,” Eckhart muttered, leaping down onto the ground. He waved his hand and all the stars blinked into nonexistence. “We can go to bed now-”
“I don’t think so!” Doc cried out.
He sprinted forward and slapped Eckhart in the face. He slapped him reeeeally hard. While laughing, “HAHAHAHAHA I BEAT YOU”
Eckhart collapsed onto the ground, the pain and humiliation hurting his very soul.
“I will kill-”
The fine physician interrupted him by poking several key pressure points, paralyzing him instantly.
“There,” Doc sighed, “We can keep him there for a while now. Any complaints?”
Neinheart scowled. Empress Cygnus was trying to be upset, but she couldn’t help but grin. Hawkeye, Oz and Irena were all looking around nervously, when Mihile shrugged and broke the silence.
“Works for me.”
Neinheart sighed in exasperation, then announced, “Having skipped six years of training, Dr. McNinja, you have passed the examination. You are now a Cygnus Knight. Congratulations.”
The commanders all clapped (except for Eckhart, of course, who was still paralyzed) and Dr. McNinja grinned stupidly.
“Wheee!” he mumbled, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I request a short naptime. I think I have about enough blood left in my body to keep an onion alive.”
Oz frowned and chirped, “Onions don’t need blood-”
“Eeeexxxactly,” Doc muttered, then collapsed onto the ground in a bloody heap.
Neinheart rolled his eyes. “Someone get that man an orange potion so we can move forward with the knighthood ceremony.”
Everyone fidgeted, afraid. Only Mihile stepped forward.
Years later, when Mihile was asked why he was courageous enough to help Doc, he responded thus:
“HA! Courage? No, it was gratitude!” Mihile roared in laughter, “The man beat up Eckhart for the fun of it! That makes anyone good in my book.”
Mihile picked up Dr. McNinja and sighed. “Another addition to the medical bay,” he mumbled.
“A Cygnus Knight,” the young Empress replied, “Only if you’re willing, of course.”
“And if I don’t want to?” Doc muttered suspiciously.
Cygnus sighed. “Then we will have to respect your wishes. You may stay here in our sanctuary for as long as is convenient for both you and the people of Ereve.”
McNinja paused to think, weighing his options. “Aaaaand how do I become a Knight?”
“You would have to go through the standard diagnostics training. And then a brief skills examination,” Neinheart interjected, “Afterwards, you would choose which division of the knighthood you would join.”
Doc shrugged. “Sounds simple enough. How long does it usually take to-”
“Six years.”
“SIX YEA- Holy shit!” Doc muttered. “I spent less time getting my doctorates!…Sort of. Anyway, I don’t have that kind of time - okay, let’s be honest, I mean patience. I don’t have that kind of patience. Can’t I just take the exam now?”
“Of course,” Neinheart snickered, “Choose your opponent out of these five.”
The Head Knights all prepared their weapons and stared Doc straight in the eye. He nervously turned to the blue-haired advisor.
“Aaaand how many of your recruits make it out of this fight?”
“All of them,” Neinheart assured, “Though the medical wing tends to fill up during our examination periods.”
Doc chuckled nervously.
“Uh… Lovely.”
“Choose Irena! You can sneak in closely-”
Eckhart eyed Doc out of the hole in his mask.
“Don’t be stupid, just pick the archer! She’s useless if she can’t-”
Doc stared back through the hole in his own mask.
“This is a terrible idea. Do you ever listen to me?”
“I choose Eckhart,” Doc announced. Everyone in the room frowned in confusion, except Ereve’s resident ninja.
“Naturally,” Eckhart muttered, smirk on his face.
“I'm confused, doctor,” Neinheart mumbled in Doc’s ear, “you’re trying to win, yes?”
“So I picked the easiest match,” McNinja replied.
This irritated Eckhart. He adjusted his gauntlets and reached into his pouch, pulling two throwing stars that could not possibly have fit in it.
“Toe-to-toe with a Prime,” he mumbled, “This should be fun.”
Eckhart chucked the shuriken. Doc nimbly side-stepped them and drew his katana. Eckhart had no other visible weapon besides his throwing stars. All McNinja had to do was-
SCHLK
The throwing stars landed in his back. How was that possible? Unless the stars were homing devices or something…
Random numbers started flashing above Doc’s head.
“What the he-”
Eckhart suddenly unleashed a barrage of throwing stars, creating a whole torrential storm of sharp, flying metal. The more he threw, the more purple he seemed to glow, and a black fog was starting to take shape behind his back in the shape of wings.
Doc dashed up a wall. These stars were definitely homing in on him. They bent their path in the air, striving consistently to land their target. As Eckhart threw more, they began to seem faster and more intent. McNinja found himself jumping from wall-to-wall to avoid them, even somersaulting between streams and deflecting many with his sword. Finally, he lunged forward and stabbed at Eckhart.
Eckhart abruptly cried out, “DARK SIGHT!”
Doc frowned and muttered, “What?”
POOF
Eckhart had vanished completely, and Doc slashed smoke in half. He muttered, “Cheap trick,” and listened for movement. Unfortunately, the others were muttering about the fight, and it was hard to isolate the sound with his nullified powers (THANKS OMNI) until he heard very noisy clicking.
“Got you now, you son of a-”
Doc’s words were cut short by a huge throwing star. Huge didn’t quite do it justice. The shuriken was about the size of a small car. It flew by him, and the wind as it passed by pushed McNinja back a little. He looked to see where the monstrosity had come from…
When he saw Eckhart on a ledge, holding at least six more.
“Déjà vu, * ” the French orc taunted in his memory.
Quote: * a phrase used to describe a phenomenon of having the strong sensation that an event or experience currently being experienced has been experienced in the past.
Quote: McNinja fans, see “Dr. McNinja and the Cygnus Knights #1”!
Doc jumped in between two that flew at him, which, having jammed into the marble ground, shattered into a million more throwing stars that all readjusted their course to chase him. Doc jumped a back-flip, used another of the giant stars to lift himself higher, managed to twirl in mid-air, slashing his sword in random spinny directions, hoping to deflect as many as he could. The third monster-star broke and coursed another wave of tiny throwing stars.
“They’re like the slimes in Minecraft!” Doc screamed, “AND I’VE NEVER PLAYED MINECRAFT.”
The other three formed a neat little triangle for Doc to jump through. He rolled on the ground to catch his momentum, then reached into his pockets for…
Oh yeah. He lost his weapons. All he had was a flashbang.
“Sh*t.”
With a flurry of cuts, slices and bloody THUNKs, Doc was carried by the tide of shuriken. He was in a daze of pain and horror, as he watched as a thousand knives seemed to fly past him like bats-
Exactly like bats, actually.
Doc knelt on the ground, bleeding from every sliver of his skin, and looked up. He checked his body quickly - several arteries were cut. His internal organs were all but busted. He was a minute from dying.
And he was going to take this sucker out.
“That… *cough* That all you - GUH - got?” he spluttered.
Eckhart smiled and waved his hand. The anthills of shuriken that had formed were now floating up, hovering, slowly rising until they were all in the air, waiting to cut through Doc again. They grew little bat wings, and the holes in the middle of them split into two, glowing, purple eyes.
“They are bats,” Doc thought, “Which means they’re living things, right?”
Eckhart waved his hand again. The millions of bat-shuriken all charged.
“Alright, fake Batman,” Doc roared, “Let’s see how you like this!”
He chucked his flashbang forward onto the first bat he saw and ducked out of the way. There was a shrill noise as the thousands of bats all felt the immediate effect of the device. Wave after wave collapsed on itself, clattering on the floor, until a sizable mountain of throwing stars stood in front of him. The wings seemed to shatter like glass as they fell. It was as if Doc had actually killed the damn bats.
Thirty seconds passed as Doc struggled to stand up again. He pulled whatever energy he had left and stood up, bearing his sword to prepare himself for another onslaught. Eckhart stood at the top of the ledge, scowling.
“I usually have something clever and doctor-related to say in moments like this,” Doc mumbled, “But I think one of your Batarangs are wedged inside my brain.”
Eckhart looked ready to murder him, and laugh while doing so, in the most gruesome way imaginable. After a moment, he sighed.
“Well,” he mumbled, “I’m out of stars.”
Neinheart stared in disbelief.
“But how did you-”
Doc raised a finger, and sheathed his sword.
“I eat lots of fruits and vegetables in the morning,” he said, “And plenty of exercise throughout the day. And downtime is important. I read a lot in the afternoons. Or I kill ninja zombies. That happens too, on occasion.”
Everyone stared at him blankly.
“Well, the fight’s over,” Eckhart muttered, leaping down onto the ground. He waved his hand and all the stars blinked into nonexistence. “We can go to bed now-”
“I don’t think so!” Doc cried out.
He sprinted forward and slapped Eckhart in the face. He slapped him reeeeally hard. While laughing, “HAHAHAHAHA I BEAT YOU”
Eckhart collapsed onto the ground, the pain and humiliation hurting his very soul.
“I will kill-”
The fine physician interrupted him by poking several key pressure points, paralyzing him instantly.
“There,” Doc sighed, “We can keep him there for a while now. Any complaints?”
Neinheart scowled. Empress Cygnus was trying to be upset, but she couldn’t help but grin. Hawkeye, Oz and Irena were all looking around nervously, when Mihile shrugged and broke the silence.
“Works for me.”
Neinheart sighed in exasperation, then announced, “Having skipped six years of training, Dr. McNinja, you have passed the examination. You are now a Cygnus Knight. Congratulations.”
The commanders all clapped (except for Eckhart, of course, who was still paralyzed) and Dr. McNinja grinned stupidly.
“Wheee!” he mumbled, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I request a short naptime. I think I have about enough blood left in my body to keep an onion alive.”
Oz frowned and chirped, “Onions don’t need blood-”
“Eeeexxxactly,” Doc muttered, then collapsed onto the ground in a bloody heap.
Neinheart rolled his eyes. “Someone get that man an orange potion so we can move forward with the knighthood ceremony.”
Everyone fidgeted, afraid. Only Mihile stepped forward.
Years later, when Mihile was asked why he was courageous enough to help Doc, he responded thus:
“HA! Courage? No, it was gratitude!” Mihile roared in laughter, “The man beat up Eckhart for the fun of it! That makes anyone good in my book.”
Mihile picked up Dr. McNinja and sighed. “Another addition to the medical bay,” he mumbled.
![[Image: 665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/3590/f/2018/193/c/8/665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg)
Odd hours. Call for appointment.