Day Two

[Strazio Rockwell]

Somehow, through pure persistence I had managed to impress this beefcake of a man. He had flung me around like a ragdoll and I could see why, his arms were damn near the size of a tree trunk and he was a massive bastard. My body was sore after going against him in the ring, but I was glad to have an ally.

“So... Are you like some kind of gladiator?” I asked, slightly intrigued by his over-the-top showmanship.

“Me? I’m the People’s Champ! I’m The Rock!” he spoke loudly with over-exaggerated gestures. I chuckled a bit and he stamped his foot into the ground and took a step towards me.

“What’s so funny jabroni?”

He almost stood a good foot over me and had to be at least twice my weight, in other words the mountain of muscle was terrifying. A bit intimidated I spoke softly “you see.... I’m kinda known as the People’s Champion too.” Before I could continue he wrapped a meaty paw around the back of my neck and lifted me off the ground.

“The Rock is the only People’s Champ around here!” he paused for a moment and strained to listen for something imperceptible “Do you hear that?”

“Uhm, wha-”

“It doesn’t matter what you hear!” he interrupted me and looked out into the distance, as if addressing the entire Omniverse “cause all I hear is the millions!... And millionsss of the Rock’s fans!”

This guy was a fucking psychopath. But, a psychopath would make a great ally in this bloodbath. I raised my good hand in deference “alright, that’s fine that’s fine you’re the People’s Champ. I’ll just be the Defender of Darkshire.” I hoped that I hadn’t fallen out of his good graces. After a few tense seconds where I was sure he was going to throw me straight into hell he set me back down. I looked up at the Rock who had somehow found a pair of sunglasses, he started grinning and spoke “alright Rockwell, let’s go find some candy asses and show em what the Rock N’ Rock Connection is cookin!”

Yeahp, total fucking nutjob.

We began walking and my stomach growled “hey, you got any food? I haven’t eaten anything since I got here.” The Rock reached into his duffel bag and threw me a small pack of food and a bottle of water. Eagerly I began tearing into the meal and I gulped down the water.

“So what happened to your arm?” he asked in an almost-normal tone. I looked down at my busted arm and noticed that the sling was getting close to ripping.

“When I first got here I uh, ran into a red-headed bastard who called himself Ganondorf and some boy in a green dress. They had some kind of explosive launcher and a fucking dragon. Needless to say I didn’t have a good time”

He laughed “well its a good thing you found me kid, those jabronis don’t have anything on the Rock N’ Rock Connection! We’ve got the whole Omniverse cheering for us, we can’t lose.” His eternal optimism and confidence actually managed to get a chuckle from me. Maybe this guy wasn’t so crazy after-all, muscle-bound and overconfident, but that was exactly what we needed.

“Any idea where we’re heading?” I asked, throwing my trash into the ditch near the road. We had been walking for what seemed to be an hour now and there was nothing but an open stretch of road for miles. My giant companion looked off into the distance and paused a moment for effect.

“Dante’s town is up ahead, I’m hoping it has some kind of ring so The Rock can layeth some smackethdown on some candy asses.”

My eyes almost rolled themselves out of their sockets, this guy really had no off switch. In the distance the beginnings of a town crawled over a hill. At least he knew where he was going and I would be glad to rest in a building for a while. We strode into the town and I kept my eyes peeled. The Rock however strode around with his head held high, as if he was untouchable. He walked with a damn near unholy purpose towards the center of town, he was searching for something and I knew better than to stop him.

“I knew there had to be one here!” he exclaimed and swung open the doors to a building.

It was a gym, a fucking gym. Several rows of treadmills and weight sets filled the building and in the center was the crown jewel, a goddamned wrestling ring. My muscle-bound companion threw his duffel bag against the wall and his sunglasses followed suit. He crawled into the wring and began to pose as if someone was taking his picture. I groaned softly and walked over to his bag, my curiosity got the better of me and I unzipped it. Inside the bag was two bottles of water and two MREs along with a length of wood with metal nails pinned into it.

“You care if I use this big guy? You seem to be more than capable without it” I raised up the plank and asked him.

“Go ahead, but just so you know you’ll get a DQ if the ref catches you using it in the ring.”

“Yeah, speaking of which. What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting ready for our next match, speaking of which you see that mic over there?”

He pointed to the corner and I glanced over there, sure e-fucking-nough there was a microphone hanging from the rafters. Carefully I walked over to it and tapped it, checking to see if it worked.

“I’ll need you to introduce us when someone comes through those doors.”

“What?”

“Something grand and impressive, you know something that will drive our fans wild”

A smirk cracked across my face, I couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of this situation.

“Alright champ, don’t worry. I’ll give us the best fucking introduction you’ve ever seen”

Fuck it. I decided I’d play along with his game.