05-30-2015, 09:02 PM
Hello! Greetings to you all ladies, gentlemen, singularities, anomalies, gods, royalties, creatures of the dark and light and anything in between, this is Carn, your most irresistable anomaly. Before any of you bust a fuse trying to understand me or even try to wonder what I am doing, I deny any responsibility for whatever side-effects you experience after reading this wall of text. Side-effects may include one, some kind of combination or all of the following: Nausea( motion sickness and/or dizziness), massive Intellectual Quotient reduction( idiocy), severed synapse connections, multiple personality disorder, massive internal bleeding, breaking down of lipids, temporay loss of bladder and rectal controls, numbness, paralysis, hysterical laughter, mood swings and smiling.
If you accept, simply click the spoiler below and read everything you see downwards, the other option is to scroll down to the very bottom of this very long post which will most likely cause finger cramps and total discomfort in your supposedly enjoyable reading experience. Have a nice day.
[spoiler]"Thank you for accepting. Now suffer the same fate, only slower since you'll be reading it all instead of just skimming through. No rest for the wicked. " -Carn[/spoiler]
It has been quite a while before my last storytelling. Any timestamp I make may have been made up in this made up world. Fictional in a fictional, flora-filled, fantasy world. Again, read it all. Enjoy.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Afternoon, 1538 hours
After going through a little bit of self-aid using aircraft metal parts to mend broken bones and fill in the lack of weapons, I, Carn have decided to look for a way to ease my mode of transportation. Traversing this landmass by foot is a pain, literally. I mean I have a bad leg. The metal support I wrapped on it doesn't help numb the pain, just makes it easier to move the leg and not the fractured bone itself. So, as I prance around so graciously( I tried to drag the dumb leg as gentle as possible), I eventually reach a tiny, seriously tiny, wooden shack that seems too small to house a person in for days. It's more like a toolshed of sort. A toolshed that has been covered in what seems to be weeds and vines, green and thick ones at that.
Pulling off as much as I can and chomping off the rest with my jagged set of teeth, I open the door, revealing what seems to be a toolbox. Said toolbox is grey and heavy, looks like a case too so, a toolcase. Checking inside, my eyes reveal a set of wrenches and screwdrivers, some sandpaper and boltcutter as well as a shiny multi-tool. Ofcourse, all of this is useless to an anomaly like me so I just close the toolcase, planning to keep it with since its own weight is enough to break someone's day.
Moving on, I notice the toolcase seems to be resting on some kind of thick tarpauline, a greyish one as well. I pull the heavy sheet of parafabric polymer off to check what it was hiding underneath. Seeing it made my broken smile wider as more fun ideas surge into my humble head. Slapping the toolcase and strapping it behind the loading rack, I look for the necessary key to start the thing. With a little swish here and swoosh there, I sweep the whole area with the look like a kid excited to try out his new toy, spotting the shiny item and pushing it in its designated hole. A satisfying roar followed by an idle engine hum fills my ears as I grip on its handlebars, firing it up on full throttle.
I feel better as the smooth, humming sound indicates a well maintained engine. Odd, considering I just cleared through about several months worth of overgrowth. Some kind of hidden sponsorship scheme perhaps? It does say -insert mainstream engine manufacturer- on it. Excited to test it out, I roll the contraption out of the shed and taxi it in place with its thick, ribbed wheels. With a little snicker, gripping the handlebars like a boss and ready to hit the high road, I step on the gas pedal and my head gets pushed back by the force. I am on my way! Beware, fellow contestants, Carn's kicking! "Woohoo!" I jeer, leaving grass flying out from its wake.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Afternoon, 1622 hours
A few minutes in the zipping powerhouse, I seem to have progressed a considerable distance than I would on foot. 12 meters more to be exact. Why the number though, you ask? Well, for one thing, I have found out the thing I'm sitting on wasn't really designed for speed, although the sound of its engine made it seem like one. Also that, aside from its ridiculous noise pollution, it left a beautiful pathway of cut grass on my trail. A lawnmower. Dissapointing but It'll do for now.
Soon, I meet a path of concrete, a road! Finally! Heading west, prompting the petrol-powered packmule, I step on the gas, every press on the pedal giving boost.
VROOOOOOOOOOM!
God( in this case, "Omni" would have been appropriate), I love this whole 'make sounds with your mouth' thing. Makes me alive again. Thank you rubber man!
PLEBLEPBPBPBPBPB PFFFF POOOOSH SHOOOP POOOF SHICKASHICKA AHAH HUHUHU WAAAAAA~
I wipe my lips from all that made up sound as the engine dies.
VWOOWUPWUPWUPWUP PFFFKSH VWOOWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUP PFFFKSH
It won't start.
Well, I guess I'm out of fuel, might have had a tiny portion of the tank filled when I found this thing...wait a minute. There are some conveniently placed 'abandoned' vehicles lying around on the side of the road. Three of them. Judging from the outside, all three cars seem to be in bad shape, still I walk off my lawnmower as I check the conditions of each one. As expected, they were all totalled but something caught my attention. The cars' paintjobs may have faded but the caps on the fueltanks left signs of excess fuel dripped out during a rough onsite refuelling like somehow, someone decided to fill the fueltanks at the last minute before dropping us on this little forest park in the middle of the sea. I wonder if I can syphon some for my ride? I walk back to the lobster red lawnmower, digging out from the toolcase I brought in with the mower's loading rack, I see a bendable straw! Perfect!
Now I'll need to suck out the fuel from one of the tanks and transfer the rest to my lawnmower's tank, entrusting omniphysics and fluid dynamics. I'm a genius. All I have to do now is move the ride close to the cars and I mean really close since I only have a straw for a syphoning hose, such a great day. Pushing the little stuntwagon, It eventually gets parked beside one of the cars. I rest the bendable straw at the lip of the fueltank's cap as I suck out as hard and as fast as I can, spitting any fuel that got in my mouth as the straw showers a little stream of red orange liquid from one tank to another. "This'll take a while. Better do something while I wait."
Walking a few feet into the side of the road, my right foot accidentally kicks something hard, a rock. Now, I wonder what this rock would serve in my current situation? Aside from being a brief RP fodder, nothing. I did carry it with me back into the wagon for no particular reason. I mean my writer here wouldn't have bothered to have me kick it if it doesn't have a plot purpose, am I right? I am so smart.
Going back to the car and my lawnmower, I find that the straw had fallen off and now I just wasted my time waiting for something that didn't work. I would be cursing right now. Annoyed, I tear the trunk off of the degraded sedan , ripping off the annoyong metal flooring that seperates trunkroom flooring with the fueltank. Now that the fueltank is exposed, I tear that darned tank out of its confinement, pouring out its contents into my own ride's fueltank, bolts and strips of steel flying out from the sudden assault I did. I should be making made up noises of the tiny metal pieces landing into hard concrete but I'm so annoyed, I didn't bother. Problem? Remember you agreed to read the whole thing. Now, wity a fuel tank, I kickstart my serious ride into the setting sun. It was turning 5 already, I guess the sun sets early. Watch out! Here I come!
Happy that I succeeded, I casually throw the dumb piece of rock since I think it won't help me anymore. It drops on the side of the road with a 'click' followed by an explosion. As I look back, I see that the three cars were in flames as a giant fireball engulfed the vehicles as it rises into the air, heating the wind. So, this means it was a trap and I went the opposite way. I guess this is what my writer wanted to show me. Good.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Evening, 1940 hours
Soaking wet, I tread the unlit hills on my lawnmower, clearing a beautiful path of cut grass along the way. I wasn't told there will be rain. A storm's brewing too... With only moonshine to guide me from this nighttime darkness and the thin waterscreen of drizzle, I am forced to follow a lightsource from a structure about a mile away. With a little more push into the ride's gas pedal, I reach the building as soon as the rain started picking up, winds blowing off ever so coldly, a seabreeze?
I park the red lawnmower behind the building as I walk in. To my surprise, I find a headless corpse lying around the grass. Dressed in some type of black robe, I lift it up to try and identify the remains. "Awww, it's a boy! A kid? I don't know," I think to myself as I put back his trousers. Are kids even allowed in this game? Right, I met little children before I crashed here so that could be possible.
WARNING: Carn is about to get a bit creepy a couple of lines below. Please skip to the next thick paragraph for the love of everything vanilla.
*sniff sniff* Oh well, this body doesn't smell bad, slightly cooked too! Been a while since I had meat. I have been eating wood since coming here. Thank you and bless all that is tasty.
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH *squish* CRUNCH CRUNCH RIIIIIIP CHOMP CHOMP GULP
Ah, lovely. I love my steak medium rare. A bit bone-y though. After that hearty little meal, the rain starts pouring harder.
I go inside the building to seek shelter, shaking the droplets off of me. Inside looks pretty neat and tidy, apart from the spiral staircase, everything looks edgy. One side has a fridge and table counters, the other has some wooden benches to loiter in. The place looks nice enough to dwell as I feel sleepy again. Looking for a room, I don't find anything that resembles one on the ground floor. I climb the stairs to check the other doors. The moment I spot a nice place to slumber in, I walk back down, close the main door and barricade it with the wooden benches, turning the lights off in the process. If anyone planned to get in, they either had to break into the barred door or make their own hole quickly, both cases will cause a lot of noise and I'm pretty sure it'll wake me up. The lack of windows also help.
Trudging my mishapped form, I drop my makeshift scythe and the rotor blade beside the bed. Locking the door and shutting the lamp, I lay down on a warm, cozy bed. The first time ever upon arrival to the Omniverse. The very feeling of being in one works wonders to a fatigued being. This'll be memmorable. A few blinks later, I doze off with a muffled snore.
_DA 2015 Day 2 Dawn, 0??? hours (I can do that too)
Somehow, I wake up earlier than I expected. Odd. With nothing to do, I walk back down, patched leg burning up from the feverish pain. I remove the barricade and go behind the building. Checking for whatever I could do to make my ride sweeter, I fiddle around with whatever was available. Using the toolcase, I look for a screwdriver and slowly unscrew the cover that hides the blades on the belly of the mower. "Anyone stupid enough to get close would lose an ankle, ohohoho. Well, that could be me too."
Looking out of the little window inside the hut I hid my lawnmower in, the storm looks like it's kicking, waving debris at me with a swoosh. Pushing the mower towards the front door, shoving its compact shape into the door frame, I barricade the door with the wooden bench again. Now I have time to fiddle while the storm's beating up everyone. If all goes well, people will have to die from it too. Please let it happen.
Well now, I'm getting bored with this pouring rain. A depressing sight, fitting this probably artificial tropical depression. Since I habe nothing to do, I prepare myself for battle. Clutching my makeshift scythe with my makeshift braced arm, I march downstairs and guard the buildng, dragging the rotor blade behind me. "Ready for battle," I smile at the wall, thinking maybe someone's watching me.
If you accept, simply click the spoiler below and read everything you see downwards, the other option is to scroll down to the very bottom of this very long post which will most likely cause finger cramps and total discomfort in your supposedly enjoyable reading experience. Have a nice day.
[spoiler]"Thank you for accepting. Now suffer the same fate, only slower since you'll be reading it all instead of just skimming through. No rest for the wicked. " -Carn[/spoiler]
It has been quite a while before my last storytelling. Any timestamp I make may have been made up in this made up world. Fictional in a fictional, flora-filled, fantasy world. Again, read it all. Enjoy.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Afternoon, 1538 hours
After going through a little bit of self-aid using aircraft metal parts to mend broken bones and fill in the lack of weapons, I, Carn have decided to look for a way to ease my mode of transportation. Traversing this landmass by foot is a pain, literally. I mean I have a bad leg. The metal support I wrapped on it doesn't help numb the pain, just makes it easier to move the leg and not the fractured bone itself. So, as I prance around so graciously( I tried to drag the dumb leg as gentle as possible), I eventually reach a tiny, seriously tiny, wooden shack that seems too small to house a person in for days. It's more like a toolshed of sort. A toolshed that has been covered in what seems to be weeds and vines, green and thick ones at that.
Pulling off as much as I can and chomping off the rest with my jagged set of teeth, I open the door, revealing what seems to be a toolbox. Said toolbox is grey and heavy, looks like a case too so, a toolcase. Checking inside, my eyes reveal a set of wrenches and screwdrivers, some sandpaper and boltcutter as well as a shiny multi-tool. Ofcourse, all of this is useless to an anomaly like me so I just close the toolcase, planning to keep it with since its own weight is enough to break someone's day.
Moving on, I notice the toolcase seems to be resting on some kind of thick tarpauline, a greyish one as well. I pull the heavy sheet of parafabric polymer off to check what it was hiding underneath. Seeing it made my broken smile wider as more fun ideas surge into my humble head. Slapping the toolcase and strapping it behind the loading rack, I look for the necessary key to start the thing. With a little swish here and swoosh there, I sweep the whole area with the look like a kid excited to try out his new toy, spotting the shiny item and pushing it in its designated hole. A satisfying roar followed by an idle engine hum fills my ears as I grip on its handlebars, firing it up on full throttle.
I feel better as the smooth, humming sound indicates a well maintained engine. Odd, considering I just cleared through about several months worth of overgrowth. Some kind of hidden sponsorship scheme perhaps? It does say -insert mainstream engine manufacturer- on it. Excited to test it out, I roll the contraption out of the shed and taxi it in place with its thick, ribbed wheels. With a little snicker, gripping the handlebars like a boss and ready to hit the high road, I step on the gas pedal and my head gets pushed back by the force. I am on my way! Beware, fellow contestants, Carn's kicking! "Woohoo!" I jeer, leaving grass flying out from its wake.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Afternoon, 1622 hours
A few minutes in the zipping powerhouse, I seem to have progressed a considerable distance than I would on foot. 12 meters more to be exact. Why the number though, you ask? Well, for one thing, I have found out the thing I'm sitting on wasn't really designed for speed, although the sound of its engine made it seem like one. Also that, aside from its ridiculous noise pollution, it left a beautiful pathway of cut grass on my trail. A lawnmower. Dissapointing but It'll do for now.
Soon, I meet a path of concrete, a road! Finally! Heading west, prompting the petrol-powered packmule, I step on the gas, every press on the pedal giving boost.
VROOOOOOOOOOM!
God( in this case, "Omni" would have been appropriate), I love this whole 'make sounds with your mouth' thing. Makes me alive again. Thank you rubber man!
PLEBLEPBPBPBPBPB PFFFF POOOOSH SHOOOP POOOF SHICKASHICKA AHAH HUHUHU WAAAAAA~
I wipe my lips from all that made up sound as the engine dies.
VWOOWUPWUPWUPWUP PFFFKSH VWOOWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUPWUP PFFFKSH
It won't start.
Well, I guess I'm out of fuel, might have had a tiny portion of the tank filled when I found this thing...wait a minute. There are some conveniently placed 'abandoned' vehicles lying around on the side of the road. Three of them. Judging from the outside, all three cars seem to be in bad shape, still I walk off my lawnmower as I check the conditions of each one. As expected, they were all totalled but something caught my attention. The cars' paintjobs may have faded but the caps on the fueltanks left signs of excess fuel dripped out during a rough onsite refuelling like somehow, someone decided to fill the fueltanks at the last minute before dropping us on this little forest park in the middle of the sea. I wonder if I can syphon some for my ride? I walk back to the lobster red lawnmower, digging out from the toolcase I brought in with the mower's loading rack, I see a bendable straw! Perfect!
Now I'll need to suck out the fuel from one of the tanks and transfer the rest to my lawnmower's tank, entrusting omniphysics and fluid dynamics. I'm a genius. All I have to do now is move the ride close to the cars and I mean really close since I only have a straw for a syphoning hose, such a great day. Pushing the little stuntwagon, It eventually gets parked beside one of the cars. I rest the bendable straw at the lip of the fueltank's cap as I suck out as hard and as fast as I can, spitting any fuel that got in my mouth as the straw showers a little stream of red orange liquid from one tank to another. "This'll take a while. Better do something while I wait."
Walking a few feet into the side of the road, my right foot accidentally kicks something hard, a rock. Now, I wonder what this rock would serve in my current situation? Aside from being a brief RP fodder, nothing. I did carry it with me back into the wagon for no particular reason. I mean my writer here wouldn't have bothered to have me kick it if it doesn't have a plot purpose, am I right? I am so smart.
Going back to the car and my lawnmower, I find that the straw had fallen off and now I just wasted my time waiting for something that didn't work. I would be cursing right now. Annoyed, I tear the trunk off of the degraded sedan , ripping off the annoyong metal flooring that seperates trunkroom flooring with the fueltank. Now that the fueltank is exposed, I tear that darned tank out of its confinement, pouring out its contents into my own ride's fueltank, bolts and strips of steel flying out from the sudden assault I did. I should be making made up noises of the tiny metal pieces landing into hard concrete but I'm so annoyed, I didn't bother. Problem? Remember you agreed to read the whole thing. Now, wity a fuel tank, I kickstart my serious ride into the setting sun. It was turning 5 already, I guess the sun sets early. Watch out! Here I come!
Happy that I succeeded, I casually throw the dumb piece of rock since I think it won't help me anymore. It drops on the side of the road with a 'click' followed by an explosion. As I look back, I see that the three cars were in flames as a giant fireball engulfed the vehicles as it rises into the air, heating the wind. So, this means it was a trap and I went the opposite way. I guess this is what my writer wanted to show me. Good.
_DA 2015 Day 1 Evening, 1940 hours
Soaking wet, I tread the unlit hills on my lawnmower, clearing a beautiful path of cut grass along the way. I wasn't told there will be rain. A storm's brewing too... With only moonshine to guide me from this nighttime darkness and the thin waterscreen of drizzle, I am forced to follow a lightsource from a structure about a mile away. With a little more push into the ride's gas pedal, I reach the building as soon as the rain started picking up, winds blowing off ever so coldly, a seabreeze?
I park the red lawnmower behind the building as I walk in. To my surprise, I find a headless corpse lying around the grass. Dressed in some type of black robe, I lift it up to try and identify the remains. "Awww, it's a boy! A kid? I don't know," I think to myself as I put back his trousers. Are kids even allowed in this game? Right, I met little children before I crashed here so that could be possible.
WARNING: Carn is about to get a bit creepy a couple of lines below. Please skip to the next thick paragraph for the love of everything vanilla.
*sniff sniff* Oh well, this body doesn't smell bad, slightly cooked too! Been a while since I had meat. I have been eating wood since coming here. Thank you and bless all that is tasty.
CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH *squish* CRUNCH CRUNCH RIIIIIIP CHOMP CHOMP GULP
Ah, lovely. I love my steak medium rare. A bit bone-y though. After that hearty little meal, the rain starts pouring harder.
I go inside the building to seek shelter, shaking the droplets off of me. Inside looks pretty neat and tidy, apart from the spiral staircase, everything looks edgy. One side has a fridge and table counters, the other has some wooden benches to loiter in. The place looks nice enough to dwell as I feel sleepy again. Looking for a room, I don't find anything that resembles one on the ground floor. I climb the stairs to check the other doors. The moment I spot a nice place to slumber in, I walk back down, close the main door and barricade it with the wooden benches, turning the lights off in the process. If anyone planned to get in, they either had to break into the barred door or make their own hole quickly, both cases will cause a lot of noise and I'm pretty sure it'll wake me up. The lack of windows also help.
Trudging my mishapped form, I drop my makeshift scythe and the rotor blade beside the bed. Locking the door and shutting the lamp, I lay down on a warm, cozy bed. The first time ever upon arrival to the Omniverse. The very feeling of being in one works wonders to a fatigued being. This'll be memmorable. A few blinks later, I doze off with a muffled snore.
_DA 2015 Day 2 Dawn, 0??? hours (I can do that too)
Somehow, I wake up earlier than I expected. Odd. With nothing to do, I walk back down, patched leg burning up from the feverish pain. I remove the barricade and go behind the building. Checking for whatever I could do to make my ride sweeter, I fiddle around with whatever was available. Using the toolcase, I look for a screwdriver and slowly unscrew the cover that hides the blades on the belly of the mower. "Anyone stupid enough to get close would lose an ankle, ohohoho. Well, that could be me too."
Looking out of the little window inside the hut I hid my lawnmower in, the storm looks like it's kicking, waving debris at me with a swoosh. Pushing the mower towards the front door, shoving its compact shape into the door frame, I barricade the door with the wooden bench again. Now I have time to fiddle while the storm's beating up everyone. If all goes well, people will have to die from it too. Please let it happen.
Well now, I'm getting bored with this pouring rain. A depressing sight, fitting this probably artificial tropical depression. Since I habe nothing to do, I prepare myself for battle. Clutching my makeshift scythe with my makeshift braced arm, I march downstairs and guard the buildng, dragging the rotor blade behind me. "Ready for battle," I smile at the wall, thinking maybe someone's watching me.
![[Image: CarnDASig_zpsnooeyckf.png]](http://i1301.photobucket.com/albums/ag103/Tearen0/CarnDASig_zpsnooeyckf.png)