05-26-2015, 04:18 PM
Kshh! Krrrrr! "HAAAAaa.....huh..."[i] Glass littered the floor from Neal's reentry, and the small squared table held firmly in his hands tilted towards the ground. The diner was devoid of life, with the back door standing wide. [i]"Did that noob rage-quit?!" His plan was fullproof! Both of his plans, actually. "Damn... Whatever, I still have the high ground... Time to rummage.
He started off towards the kitchen, for obvious reasons. MRE's are not what what he would call a "home cooked meal." Sure enough, he found some goodies that, for others, might seem undesirable. Canned vegetables, mainly. [i]"Oooh, mushrooms... Whole too, score." The fungi was perhaps his favored canned snack from back home. The memory brought a smirk to his lips, his parents always cringing as he slurped up one of the slimey bulbs.
"What else do we have... Ooh -- no... opened and spoiled. He tossed a can of processed meat over his shoulder before kneeling to look over the bottom shelves. The pickings were pretty slim. The can of mushrooms would be his biggest reward, but he did find a jar of sliced pickles, unopened. He left a bottle of ketchup, however. On second thought, he left the pickles too.
Instead, he takes the can over to the preparation table, where he easily found a rusted can opener. The axle had long since seized, so he had to open and close the tool to puncture the mushroom can multiple times along it's rim, connecting the holes one by one. Sadly, this skill had been honed to perfection as a naive kid.
The final cut left the can lid to fall into the can, which he used to drain the juice off of his bounty. Finally plucking out the lid and dropping it onto the counter, he turns up the can to casually dump two mushroom caps into an awaiting maw.
My stuff is still in the tree... Can't forget to grab that later. He made a mental note, but for now he chose to relax. He listened to the silence of the night and took to enjoying his little snack. His mind wandered for a short while, considering all the things he could do here. Of course, all of that reminded him of the futility of it all.
His eyes cast over the over the room. He hoped to find a knife - at first. The hope dwindled, replaced by an inkling in the back of his mind. No. A knife won't do any good... He sighed through his nose, his jaw falling still for the moment, midways through a mushroom. Normal items won't effect Primes... that's why they gave us all these random items... His free hand reaches down to touch the pack of cards in his pocket.
Click! Holy shit... His eyes widened, his breathing halted. I am a god damned genius. He turned the can up for a mouthful of the soft, squishy delights before sitting his bounty on the counter and rummaging through the various drawers and shelves.
Nope.
Bingo! Branching off from the kitchen was a janitor's closet. Very few people ever thought of the janitor's closet as being a treasure trove, but today it was just what Neal needed. The stock wasn't too bad, for his needs. "Come to papa! I need you! And you! Ohhh, aren't you a beauty!" His hushed yet excitable muttering announced every item he plucked from the shelf. A bucket, a crusty brush, a cardboard box and a spool of string, all apparently useless items. " Perfect..."
He placed his bounty upon the counter next to his mushrooms before nigh prancing towards the stove. "Zoink!" He chimed whilst he opened the old contraption and yanked out the gridiron. "Let's see who's getting the last laugh! HAH!" The light clang of the metal on the countertop caused Neal to wince slightly. He had to remember to be quieter.
Only one more thing was needed. Neal dashed back into the dining area, hesitating only for a moment to make sure it was still clear... He snatched up the table he had previously dropped, before returning with it to the kitchen. After giving it a good look over, his lips curled to a smirk. There was still a knife on the counter, left behind as useless junk. He was positive normal weapons would not harm a Prime.
He took the knife in hand and carefully went about separating the top layer of the table from the compressed wood. The laminate was all he needed, just that added layer. Thankfully, once he cut the seems, it came off rather easily, with a soft yet raspy ripping sound. The rest of the table was sat back down, unneeded for the moment.
Neal started with the laminate layer. The same knife that had freed it now works to cut the square article into long, slightly broad strips. It was hard to keep the strips as even and straight as possible, but the end product came out looking good enough.
He took up the crusted brush and attempted to free the bristles with the dull paring knife. It wasn't too hard to get it somewhat usable, though it was not going to paint any houses. Next, he popped open the bucket and peered insight. It was half full of industrial adhesive. "Have I told myself just how amazing I am?" He prided himself once again, before dipping the brush into the adhesive and spreading it over the rough underside of the laminate.
With the first strip covered in a light layer of glue, he quickly takes up the gridiron and begins weaving the laminate strip through the grill. This part was painstaking, especially considering he couldn't let the grill touch the glue too much, in fear of sticking or rubbing it off before it was in place. About half way through, his slow brain concocts another way to do this.
The second strip was woven into the second row between the intersecting columns of metal, this time without glue. It alternated from the first strip, so that it was above the bar when the strip beside it was below, and visa versa. This time, it went through much easier, and the brush coated in clue gave it a quick coat. All he had to do was pull the laminate slightly so that the glue was now under the bar. Boom! Just like that! He repeated this twice more to finish the base layer.
With the laminate in place, rough side up, he leans down to take up the old cardboard box. Being careful to unfold it, the old glue on the box gaveway easy enough. For the most part, Neal did not have to resort to tearing, though there were one or two blemishes. It'll work all the same. With the box unfolded, Neal painted the laminate-woven gridiron with a layer of glue, then slapped on the cardboard, the rivets going in the opposite direction from the long iron bars below it.
After spreading his hands across it to make sure it was evenly pasted down, he took the old knife and cut away at the edges, keeping his creation nice and even. "And finally, the cherry on top!" He practically cackled in delight. He remembered standing over an enchanting table in Skyrim, making the exact sound. He slid from his pocket the pack of cards. Though one was missing, he believed he had plenty to complete his goal.
One by one, card by card, he glued down the joke artifact. They overlapped and alternated, like scales on a dragon hide. All of them were faced down, so UNO repeated across the surface of his creation. In his head, his logic was undeniable. The Spartan Shield was made with wood, leather and iron to absorb and resist impact better than any single-material shield. Samurai armor was scaled so attacks could glance off its surface. So... this should be awesome, DESPITE it being made of freaking UNO CARDS.
He started off towards the kitchen, for obvious reasons. MRE's are not what what he would call a "home cooked meal." Sure enough, he found some goodies that, for others, might seem undesirable. Canned vegetables, mainly. [i]"Oooh, mushrooms... Whole too, score." The fungi was perhaps his favored canned snack from back home. The memory brought a smirk to his lips, his parents always cringing as he slurped up one of the slimey bulbs.
"What else do we have... Ooh -- no... opened and spoiled. He tossed a can of processed meat over his shoulder before kneeling to look over the bottom shelves. The pickings were pretty slim. The can of mushrooms would be his biggest reward, but he did find a jar of sliced pickles, unopened. He left a bottle of ketchup, however. On second thought, he left the pickles too.
Instead, he takes the can over to the preparation table, where he easily found a rusted can opener. The axle had long since seized, so he had to open and close the tool to puncture the mushroom can multiple times along it's rim, connecting the holes one by one. Sadly, this skill had been honed to perfection as a naive kid.
The final cut left the can lid to fall into the can, which he used to drain the juice off of his bounty. Finally plucking out the lid and dropping it onto the counter, he turns up the can to casually dump two mushroom caps into an awaiting maw.
My stuff is still in the tree... Can't forget to grab that later. He made a mental note, but for now he chose to relax. He listened to the silence of the night and took to enjoying his little snack. His mind wandered for a short while, considering all the things he could do here. Of course, all of that reminded him of the futility of it all.
His eyes cast over the over the room. He hoped to find a knife - at first. The hope dwindled, replaced by an inkling in the back of his mind. No. A knife won't do any good... He sighed through his nose, his jaw falling still for the moment, midways through a mushroom. Normal items won't effect Primes... that's why they gave us all these random items... His free hand reaches down to touch the pack of cards in his pocket.
Click! Holy shit... His eyes widened, his breathing halted. I am a god damned genius. He turned the can up for a mouthful of the soft, squishy delights before sitting his bounty on the counter and rummaging through the various drawers and shelves.
Nope.
Nuh-uh.
[float=right]Not there...[/float]Bingo! Branching off from the kitchen was a janitor's closet. Very few people ever thought of the janitor's closet as being a treasure trove, but today it was just what Neal needed. The stock wasn't too bad, for his needs. "Come to papa! I need you! And you! Ohhh, aren't you a beauty!" His hushed yet excitable muttering announced every item he plucked from the shelf. A bucket, a crusty brush, a cardboard box and a spool of string, all apparently useless items. " Perfect..."
He placed his bounty upon the counter next to his mushrooms before nigh prancing towards the stove. "Zoink!" He chimed whilst he opened the old contraption and yanked out the gridiron. "Let's see who's getting the last laugh! HAH!" The light clang of the metal on the countertop caused Neal to wince slightly. He had to remember to be quieter.
Only one more thing was needed. Neal dashed back into the dining area, hesitating only for a moment to make sure it was still clear... He snatched up the table he had previously dropped, before returning with it to the kitchen. After giving it a good look over, his lips curled to a smirk. There was still a knife on the counter, left behind as useless junk. He was positive normal weapons would not harm a Prime.
He took the knife in hand and carefully went about separating the top layer of the table from the compressed wood. The laminate was all he needed, just that added layer. Thankfully, once he cut the seems, it came off rather easily, with a soft yet raspy ripping sound. The rest of the table was sat back down, unneeded for the moment.
Neal started with the laminate layer. The same knife that had freed it now works to cut the square article into long, slightly broad strips. It was hard to keep the strips as even and straight as possible, but the end product came out looking good enough.
He took up the crusted brush and attempted to free the bristles with the dull paring knife. It wasn't too hard to get it somewhat usable, though it was not going to paint any houses. Next, he popped open the bucket and peered insight. It was half full of industrial adhesive. "Have I told myself just how amazing I am?" He prided himself once again, before dipping the brush into the adhesive and spreading it over the rough underside of the laminate.
With the first strip covered in a light layer of glue, he quickly takes up the gridiron and begins weaving the laminate strip through the grill. This part was painstaking, especially considering he couldn't let the grill touch the glue too much, in fear of sticking or rubbing it off before it was in place. About half way through, his slow brain concocts another way to do this.
The second strip was woven into the second row between the intersecting columns of metal, this time without glue. It alternated from the first strip, so that it was above the bar when the strip beside it was below, and visa versa. This time, it went through much easier, and the brush coated in clue gave it a quick coat. All he had to do was pull the laminate slightly so that the glue was now under the bar. Boom! Just like that! He repeated this twice more to finish the base layer.
With the laminate in place, rough side up, he leans down to take up the old cardboard box. Being careful to unfold it, the old glue on the box gaveway easy enough. For the most part, Neal did not have to resort to tearing, though there were one or two blemishes. It'll work all the same. With the box unfolded, Neal painted the laminate-woven gridiron with a layer of glue, then slapped on the cardboard, the rivets going in the opposite direction from the long iron bars below it.
After spreading his hands across it to make sure it was evenly pasted down, he took the old knife and cut away at the edges, keeping his creation nice and even. "And finally, the cherry on top!" He practically cackled in delight. He remembered standing over an enchanting table in Skyrim, making the exact sound. He slid from his pocket the pack of cards. Though one was missing, he believed he had plenty to complete his goal.
One by one, card by card, he glued down the joke artifact. They overlapped and alternated, like scales on a dragon hide. All of them were faced down, so UNO repeated across the surface of his creation. In his head, his logic was undeniable. The Spartan Shield was made with wood, leather and iron to absorb and resist impact better than any single-material shield. Samurai armor was scaled so attacks could glance off its surface. So... this should be awesome, DESPITE it being made of freaking UNO CARDS.
"Ya, I'm just that awesome."