05-25-2015, 03:44 PM
(THREE DAYS AFTER THE EXTRACTION OF DR. GEARS)
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Dr. McNinja’s forearms felt like they were severely burned. Legs were all but dead. His mask was uncomfortably moist; each breath drained his energy and will to live. Even though he had been trained since youth to never chance revealing his identity (on top of the fact that if anyone knew his name, he was a dead man), McNinja was sorely tempted to strip the damn thing off to take one breath that didn’t remind him that he was about to be killed by turtles that a fat plumber built a career out of crushing.
He couldn’t die like this. Not like this. After Dr. Gears gave up his existence so that Dr. McNinja could… Why did Dr. Gears sacrifice himself, anyhow? Did he even sacrifice himself?
Did he even want to die?
Maybe Dr. McNinja deserved to die.
Maybe he should just close his eyes and go to bed.
He’d get to see Grandpa again.
A pang. What was that? Regret? No. Hope. Dr. McNinja saw someone in the distance. A man. In a tuxedo, holding a towel of some sort like he was a butler.
“H-help…”
The man bent over mechanically, as if he was a statue that could hinge at the hip.
“Good evening, Doctor,” the man said. “My sincere apologies, but I’m afraid you’re quite beyond that now.”
Dr. McNinja looked up. The man’s face was a skull, with hollow eyes, no, candles for eyes. The fire did not give McNinja any warmth; if anything, it made him feel cold.
“Dr. McNinja,” the skull-man said, “Reservation for one. Your table is ready.”
McNinja remembered this happening. Once before…
He heard the words of Dr. Franklin in his head…
“Purgatory is… a restaurant with horrible service. The WORST.”
Dr. McNinja remembered where he had seen this man. He, too, had died before. The man was Death.
“Sir, if you would follow me.”
(ONE HOUR AFTER THE EXTRACTION OF DR. GEARS)
“YOU COULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE DAY”
Dr. McNinja smashed the butt of his katana into another Apokalips Bill, veering it off-course and causing it to explode into another group of Apokalips Guys.
“I am not Mario!” Dr. McNinja roared, cutting open a nearby Apokalips Goomba, and clasping his hands on the shell of an Apokalips Troopa. “Nor am I Superman or whatever! I’m just a physician! Why are you attacking me?!”
“All hail Darkseid,” the Troopa replied.
Dr. McNinja pressed his blade against the turtle’s throat and slit it. “Tell Darkseid, whatever he’s selling, I’m not interested.”
There was a roaring in the distance, and the corrupted Bowser Baddies retreated. McNinja knelt on the gored ground to catch his breath, leaning on his katana. It was much less comfortable than the movies made it seem. His arms were quivering and barely able to hold onto the handle, and his palms felt that they were being pulled laterally from his hands.
McNinja looked up to find the source of the roar. Maybe he could just take out the head honcho and call it a day.
A decidedly not-cartoonish figure loomed over the retreating Bowser Baddies in the distance. It seemed almost 10 feet tall, but it bore a presence that made it seem larger. The figure was clearly used to being in power. It had its arms crossed behind its back, head held arrogantly high. Unfortunately, past the smoke of the Apokalips Bills and the darkness of the night, Dr. McNinja could not see any details. All he saw were its two, purple, glowing eyes.
Dr. McNinja, with some effort, clambered onto his feet. He swung his katana threateningly, but he wasn’t sure if he could do any more fighting.
The figure seemed to notice. Then he turned around. Clearly, he didn’t care.
McNinja mustered up whatever energy he could to stumble over to the figure in the distance. He managed to accelerate into a run, moving as quickly as he could.
An Apokalips Troopa lunged at him, but he managed to jump off of its back and fly into the air. He slashed up two of the Apokalips Bills that had just been fired, then jumped off the back of an Apokalips Bonza Bill. The consequent explosion blew Dr. McNinja forward. Thanks to the Law of Reversed Explosions (“If an individual causes an explosion, then turns his or her back to it in response to it, given that they are at a reasonable distance, may survive the explosion which would normally have seriously aimed or killed them. If said individual was in the air, the explosion will propel them in the direction they are facing, disregarding any other factors.”) Dr. McNinja was entirely unharmed as he blasted forward through the air.
A hand shot out of nowhere and caught McNinja by the head. The hand squeezed, causing McNinja to roar in pain.
“Who are you?” a deep voice boomed.
“I’m just a dude who wants to be left alone.”
The voice chuckled. “Do you know who I am?”
Dr. McNinja struggled to speak. So naturally, he had to give a funny quip.
“Judging by your ability to say more than three words?” Dr. McNinja choked, “Darkseid.”
Darkseid laughed again. He leaned his face in and Dr. McNinja, through the cracks in his unfairly strong fingers, could see that Darkseid’s entire body was made of what seemed to be igneous rock. He was wearing cobalt armor, and a large Greek Omega symbol was burned into the chestplate. The only part of Darkseid that didn’t look like it would break your fist if you punched it was his eyes. And even then, instead of breaking your fist, the eyes would probably melt them or something.
“Do you want to kill me?” Darkseid asked.
“I want you to leave me alone.”
“Unfortunately, nothing can escape from Darkseid,” he responded, “If you wish peace, you will have to kill me or, more realistically, be killed.”
Dr. McNinja struggled. He had a thought. He just realized the chainsaws were still slung around his back. He shuffled until the chainsaws slid down to about leg height.
“Frankly,” Dr. McNinja coughed, “I’d really rather not be k-erk-killed by someone who refers to them in the third person. That’d be kinda emb-ack-embarrassing.”
“Unfortunately, that is not an option for you,” Darkseid growled, “Your death will not be mourned. However, let it be known Darkseid grants formidable enemies with last words. Pray to your paltry gods.”
Dr. McNinja shuffled his legs until the chainsaws were slung around his ankles.
“Have you nothing to say?” Darkseid rumbled.
”All hail Darkseid, you son of a bitch!
Dr. McNinja kicked both his feet with all his might. The chainsaws flew at Darkseid’s face. The blades clashed against his nose, sticking a bit into his eyes. Darkseid roared in pain and released McNinja’s skull.
McNinja landed on his feet and grabbed hold of his katana. Darkseid was now roaring in fury.
“You think that would work on me again?” Darkseid bellowed, “The last time that happened, it took the most powerful forces of the entire universe. Who are you that you think you can do the same?”
“My name,” the doctor replied, [color=#808080][b]“is Dr. McNinja. And I am coming back for you, you overpowered Nazi.”
Dr. McNinja reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a stun bomb. He cast it in Darkseid’s face. Thanks to his good aim, it stuck itself into Darkseid’s forehead. That was gonna be one hell of a hangover when he woke up.
Darkseid roared, then seemed to fall dormant instead of stumbling. That… usually didn’t happen. That probably meant that Dr. McNinja should get out before Darkseid started showing some unusual symptoms.
He hightailed it, heading for the nearest portal. He thought he saw the words: “Tangled Green”. Whatever that meant, it was safer than the Nexus at the moment.
Dr. McNinja dove into the portal, with no idea what was on the other side.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Dr. McNinja’s forearms felt like they were severely burned. Legs were all but dead. His mask was uncomfortably moist; each breath drained his energy and will to live. Even though he had been trained since youth to never chance revealing his identity (on top of the fact that if anyone knew his name, he was a dead man), McNinja was sorely tempted to strip the damn thing off to take one breath that didn’t remind him that he was about to be killed by turtles that a fat plumber built a career out of crushing.
He couldn’t die like this. Not like this. After Dr. Gears gave up his existence so that Dr. McNinja could… Why did Dr. Gears sacrifice himself, anyhow? Did he even sacrifice himself?
Did he even want to die?
Maybe Dr. McNinja deserved to die.
Maybe he should just close his eyes and go to bed.
He’d get to see Grandpa again.
A pang. What was that? Regret? No. Hope. Dr. McNinja saw someone in the distance. A man. In a tuxedo, holding a towel of some sort like he was a butler.
“H-help…”
The man bent over mechanically, as if he was a statue that could hinge at the hip.
“Good evening, Doctor,” the man said. “My sincere apologies, but I’m afraid you’re quite beyond that now.”
Dr. McNinja looked up. The man’s face was a skull, with hollow eyes, no, candles for eyes. The fire did not give McNinja any warmth; if anything, it made him feel cold.
“Dr. McNinja,” the skull-man said, “Reservation for one. Your table is ready.”
McNinja remembered this happening. Once before…
He heard the words of Dr. Franklin in his head…
“Purgatory is… a restaurant with horrible service. The WORST.”
Dr. McNinja remembered where he had seen this man. He, too, had died before. The man was Death.
“Sir, if you would follow me.”
(ONE HOUR AFTER THE EXTRACTION OF DR. GEARS)
“YOU COULDN’T LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONE DAY”
Dr. McNinja smashed the butt of his katana into another Apokalips Bill, veering it off-course and causing it to explode into another group of Apokalips Guys.
“I am not Mario!” Dr. McNinja roared, cutting open a nearby Apokalips Goomba, and clasping his hands on the shell of an Apokalips Troopa. “Nor am I Superman or whatever! I’m just a physician! Why are you attacking me?!”
“All hail Darkseid,” the Troopa replied.
Dr. McNinja pressed his blade against the turtle’s throat and slit it. “Tell Darkseid, whatever he’s selling, I’m not interested.”
There was a roaring in the distance, and the corrupted Bowser Baddies retreated. McNinja knelt on the gored ground to catch his breath, leaning on his katana. It was much less comfortable than the movies made it seem. His arms were quivering and barely able to hold onto the handle, and his palms felt that they were being pulled laterally from his hands.
McNinja looked up to find the source of the roar. Maybe he could just take out the head honcho and call it a day.
A decidedly not-cartoonish figure loomed over the retreating Bowser Baddies in the distance. It seemed almost 10 feet tall, but it bore a presence that made it seem larger. The figure was clearly used to being in power. It had its arms crossed behind its back, head held arrogantly high. Unfortunately, past the smoke of the Apokalips Bills and the darkness of the night, Dr. McNinja could not see any details. All he saw were its two, purple, glowing eyes.
Dr. McNinja, with some effort, clambered onto his feet. He swung his katana threateningly, but he wasn’t sure if he could do any more fighting.
The figure seemed to notice. Then he turned around. Clearly, he didn’t care.
McNinja mustered up whatever energy he could to stumble over to the figure in the distance. He managed to accelerate into a run, moving as quickly as he could.
An Apokalips Troopa lunged at him, but he managed to jump off of its back and fly into the air. He slashed up two of the Apokalips Bills that had just been fired, then jumped off the back of an Apokalips Bonza Bill. The consequent explosion blew Dr. McNinja forward. Thanks to the Law of Reversed Explosions (“If an individual causes an explosion, then turns his or her back to it in response to it, given that they are at a reasonable distance, may survive the explosion which would normally have seriously aimed or killed them. If said individual was in the air, the explosion will propel them in the direction they are facing, disregarding any other factors.”) Dr. McNinja was entirely unharmed as he blasted forward through the air.
A hand shot out of nowhere and caught McNinja by the head. The hand squeezed, causing McNinja to roar in pain.
“Who are you?” a deep voice boomed.
“I’m just a dude who wants to be left alone.”
The voice chuckled. “Do you know who I am?”
Dr. McNinja struggled to speak. So naturally, he had to give a funny quip.
“Judging by your ability to say more than three words?” Dr. McNinja choked, “Darkseid.”
Darkseid laughed again. He leaned his face in and Dr. McNinja, through the cracks in his unfairly strong fingers, could see that Darkseid’s entire body was made of what seemed to be igneous rock. He was wearing cobalt armor, and a large Greek Omega symbol was burned into the chestplate. The only part of Darkseid that didn’t look like it would break your fist if you punched it was his eyes. And even then, instead of breaking your fist, the eyes would probably melt them or something.
“Do you want to kill me?” Darkseid asked.
“I want you to leave me alone.”
“Unfortunately, nothing can escape from Darkseid,” he responded, “If you wish peace, you will have to kill me or, more realistically, be killed.”
Dr. McNinja struggled. He had a thought. He just realized the chainsaws were still slung around his back. He shuffled until the chainsaws slid down to about leg height.
“Frankly,” Dr. McNinja coughed, “I’d really rather not be k-erk-killed by someone who refers to them in the third person. That’d be kinda emb-ack-embarrassing.”
“Unfortunately, that is not an option for you,” Darkseid growled, “Your death will not be mourned. However, let it be known Darkseid grants formidable enemies with last words. Pray to your paltry gods.”
Dr. McNinja shuffled his legs until the chainsaws were slung around his ankles.
“Have you nothing to say?” Darkseid rumbled.
”All hail Darkseid, you son of a bitch!
Dr. McNinja kicked both his feet with all his might. The chainsaws flew at Darkseid’s face. The blades clashed against his nose, sticking a bit into his eyes. Darkseid roared in pain and released McNinja’s skull.
McNinja landed on his feet and grabbed hold of his katana. Darkseid was now roaring in fury.
“You think that would work on me again?” Darkseid bellowed, “The last time that happened, it took the most powerful forces of the entire universe. Who are you that you think you can do the same?”
“My name,” the doctor replied, [color=#808080][b]“is Dr. McNinja. And I am coming back for you, you overpowered Nazi.”
Dr. McNinja reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a stun bomb. He cast it in Darkseid’s face. Thanks to his good aim, it stuck itself into Darkseid’s forehead. That was gonna be one hell of a hangover when he woke up.
Darkseid roared, then seemed to fall dormant instead of stumbling. That… usually didn’t happen. That probably meant that Dr. McNinja should get out before Darkseid started showing some unusual symptoms.
He hightailed it, heading for the nearest portal. He thought he saw the words: “Tangled Green”. Whatever that meant, it was safer than the Nexus at the moment.
Dr. McNinja dove into the portal, with no idea what was on the other side.
![[Image: 665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/3590/f/2018/193/c/8/665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg)
Odd hours. Call for appointment.