Dante's Abyss Power Rankings

[Karl Jak]

This is done entirely in IC, with the exception of the parenthesized parts that follow the remark (that's me, Alex, addressing you, the writer, with either some advice or some logic if I had to shift your position)

44. (Down 10) (NPC) Pepsiman – Product placement will make you some extra money, but it won’t help you win Dante’s Abyss. This man will have a lot to prove, and the hill got a little higher with the swelling of entrants.

43. (Previously Unranked) Seraph – Seems like a nice guy. Nice guys tend not to do so hot in the Abyss. Even so, he could increase his longevity if he found some friends or winds up with a nice weapon.

42. (Previously Unranked) Crona – Somewhat of a sleeper during the preshow, I expect this dual personality to bring something interesting to the Abyss. (Preshow Activity!)

41. (Previously Unranked) Tartaros – So many guys and girls in armor… certainly they know that won’t help them too much? Either way, this space marine was quieter than his pals, but we’re thinking he’ll be a little more vicious if they unite on the island (Preshow activity mostly)

40. (Down 13) (NPC) Aero– This guy has the talent and drive to go places. He’s also cunning enough to survive in an environment familiar to him.

39. (Down 7) Victor – A potential wild card on Day 1, we all expect this guy to make at least one or two splashes. (Crowded down)

38. (Previously Unranked) Negi Springfield – Nice to see you show up to the party, even if it was a few hours before last call. (Nice start – stay active and you could do all right).

37. (Down 7) Jason Voorhees – … An unkillable psychopath with a special love for macheting teenagers? Count us all in to see what this Detroit Red Wing brings to the Abyss.

36. Flash (Down 5) – Speedy Gon-gringo could be a wild card, and while he’s settling into a grove, he could easily make some waves (Work on making your posts a little longer – too short and there’s no real story to pull in the reader)

35. (Previously Unranked) Jak Mar – How will this guy do without his strange, talking dog friend or his guns?! We’ll be curious to find out, that’s for sure. (You were far more active than I thought – Don’t change, you just got crowded out because of how top-heavy the crowd is. Try and wait out a few of them, and you’ll have a chance to last into Day 2.

34. (Previously Unranked) Lubbock – Interesting fella, this Lubbock. We’ve seen some assassins in our time, and he doesn’t seem to be cut from the same cloth as them. We’ll keep our eye out to see how cunning he can be. (Work on formatting and dialogue – Your posts are very blobby and a bit difficult for me to read. Other than that, you are off to a good start, and I’m happy at your activity)

33. (Previously Unranked) Harry – A wizard from ‘the Midwest’ (whose Midwest? We don’t know) who smashed his way out of Coruscant and fended off an attack from a girl with ribbons? Color us interested in what he has to bring to the table. (Some crowding down by some other people)

32. (Down 11) Erza Scarlet – This girl has a lot going for her, but we haven’t had much of a chance to grasp who or what she is beneath the fiery red hair and armor (Preshow activity)

31. (Previously Unranked) Delsin Rowe – Well, this late arrival certainly seems very interesting. Some sort of chain smoker in a hoodie? Hrm. (A solid post, and more could have pushed you a little further up this list)

30. (Previously Unranked) Dr. McNinja – He has a couple degrees and he’s a ninja? He also seems to know almost everyone here, so that’s always amusing. We’ll see what the doctor/ninja does once the killing starts (Good start! If you can play smart the first Day or so, you have a shot at going much higher).

29. (Down 8) Gin – BAW GAWD! We like your dog, but you need more steel chairs. (Crowded down)

28. (Previous: Unranked) (NPC) Wartortle – When Kami gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Consider Wartortle our favorite glass of genocidal lemonade.

27. (Previously Unranked) Galel – Ahh, another man in a metal suit! We got to know you a little better, and we’ll all be curious to see what you can do when it’s time to take off the gloves (Solid start)

26. (Down 4) Mami – Ribbons? Just lovely, I love me a nice ribbon. We’ll watch out for this one. (Solid, slightly crowded)

25. (Up 4) Jack Frost – ‘Not a sidekick!’ could be this kid’s catchphrase if he continues a thus-far successful attempt to stand out from the crowd (You’re doing well – Keep at it)

24. (Previous: Unranked) Samus – The Bounty Hunter who defied the Empire has returned from exile in the Vasty Deep. We’ll be curious to see how much rust she has on that suit. (A good start and you have a good chance at much further)

23. (No Gain) Carn_Val – So precious! He has teeth and everything, and he seems to be one of those people who talks to voices that aren’t there! We’ll be watching this one (Solid performance! Crowded down)

22. (Down 14) Sasuke – Interesting to see what this positively electric guy can bring to the competition. (Your one post was one of the best in the preshow, and I have no doubts about your potential if you can get active, you slid down only because you arrived late and only got in one post)

21. (Up 13) Ganondorf – We’ve started to call this guy ‘Big Daddy G’ around the water cooler. We heard that he’s been gone for a while, but from our eyes, it looks like he spent that time getting sexier and ready to shine, because that’s what it looks like from our end. (I hope you don’t get swamped by real life, because you’re reminding me of just how awesome you were when you were fully active)

20. (Up 12) Link – I’m sorry but did someone say your sword was rusted? That person should be stabbed. The Hero of Time… It’s still Time, right? Not Wind or Boomerangs or Macarenas? Anyway, he looks to make a strong presence… alongside a longtime rival? This is a story we’ll all keep open in another tab. (Yea…you and Ganondorf go well together and look to be bringing out the best in one another, with a little more, you both could have gone higher)

19. (Down 7) Alain – Seems like the quiet and calculating one… Has a pretty strong fanbase amongst the accountants, but hey, that accounts for something, y’know? (You just got Alain’d?!)

18. (Down 2) (NPC) Cindy – With a dragon egg and a slew of personal vendettas to settle now that the crowd has swallowed up some of her old pals, we’re expecting this to get a little rougher for the Monster Hunter.

17. (Down 6) Okor – The diseased mass of man(?) and metal would win this competition if it was the opposite of a beauty contest. For now, we’re interested to see what kind of splash he makes when he arrives on the Island (A good start, just a little more crowded at the top)

16. (Up 8) Neal – This guy is quite the interesting fellow. He’s got a strange little mind that seems to know the most random things. We haven’t quite wrapped our head around him, and we kind of like that. (Great job so far, man)

15. (Up 10) Violet – I remember you. (So do I, and you’re much closer to 2008 Violet than you’ve ever been since, in my opinion. Stay strong)

14. (Up 2) Desco – Ahh, the Final Boss! Has anyone told you that Final Bosses tend not to survive the end of the game? (Late arrival to the preshow, but keep going and you can cajole some of the scrubs above you out of the way)

13. (Up 13) Vincent – Where did they dredge this guy up from the Deeps? Whoever he is, he’s one fascinating character, and we’ll be curious to see what he brings to the island (Why do you ever leave? Stop that)

12. (Down 3) (NPC) Android 18 – She has a high handicap, Transformations, and Super Moves. With a good weapon, she will be a headache for the entire island.

11. (Up 1) Luffy – Oh, this guy. The almost-pirate from the Vasty Deep. How many dusty primes are lost out in that place?! Either way, we’re looking to see this guy come out strong to represent the weird, motley collection of people who travel with him (You started late, but you’re strong regardless)

10. (Up 9) Blink – Who can actually go out and say they don’t think teleportation is awesome? Answer – No one here at Syntex. (Yea, I don’t know if you thought you had rust or something but dang, man).

9. (Down 4) Doomguy – This one is a space marine too, right? Shouldn’t he have hulking armor like the rest of them? We tried to get Jim from Accounting to go tell him he didn’t fit in, but he chickened out. Also, this guy is friends with the tiny girl? The Omniverse is a strange place (No complaints, just a tighter field)

8. (Up 1) Strazio – The Defender of Darkshire won’t have much to defend on the island except for his neck, but none of us think that means he’ll suffer when it comes to motivation (Strong start… it’s just a tough crowd up ahead of you)

7. (Up 6) Gildarts – Here’s an interested character whose been around the block a few times. We’re looking at this guy to make a splash from the get-go. (Strong start – I’m glad to see you can still write compelling posts that aren’t 40 thousand gamillion words long)

6. (Down 4) Gilgamesh – This guy made a kingdom and is trying to terrorize the Empire out in the Dunes. He’s yet to make himself royalty here at Dante’s Abyss, but we’ve still got a lot of people who think he has the look and the wherewithal to go the distance (End of the school year sucks, doesn’t it? Don’t take it too close to heart, you were just edged out)

5. (Up 28) Mickey Mouse – ‘Ears’? You’re so very original, and yet, you are the original. The boys who know you will keep your secrets, but they also all have those silly little autograph books. (Double damn. This is where you say that you’ve secretly been writing all throughout college because you predicted this event would happen years ago. Humor aside, your stuff is solid, and Mickey is without a doubt a really cool character… you could be higher than this but you just don’t have much SP)

4. (Down 2) Retane – I remember you too, you know. While I’m glad your friend is back, I’ll be happy once you ditch some of the side-acts and delve into your own head. (You've been more 'up' than 'down' with your RPs. If you can make it so you're all 'up', you'll be doing yourself a favor)

3. (Up 3) Jon Snow – ‘The Bastard’ continues to keep us all interested. We don’t know if it’s that sick hairdo, those eyes, or that pallid flesh. Either way, we expect him to make a lot of people sad if things go his way. (Damn)

2. (Down 1) Deadpool – Dis gai. Something tells me you’ll already know what this says before you even reach a terminal, and while I don’t know how, it’s amusing nevertheless. You seem a little… sick though. Not feeling as great as ya did? You’ll love the collars. (I have nothing to offer you aside from ‘Keep at it’. I don't see you facing too many problems, but this won't be a cakewalk for you).

1. (Up 6) Guu – What is this thing? A girl? A monster? She kind of looks like these pink, bubblegum monsters from where I come from. I’m half-expecting her to start shooting lightning or liquid metal from her fingers. (There's no overlooking the fact that you have an advantage with SP. If I were to include all the stuff you did prior to the preshow, you would be number 1, no doubt. If you keep your momentum going, you can make a run for the title).