(Pre-Show) The Lobby

[Retane]

Retane stepped bac k into the lobby and took a turn towards the barracks. He let out a low sigh as he heard a familiar voice. He felt a familiar presenceone from before. He shook his head as he realized who it was.

A stage was there at one end of the lobby. There were people sitting in seats, filled and even more standing up behind them. Soon tohugh, the lights went out and the area was pitch black. "Ladies, and Gentlemen..." The voice was dark and ominous. In the back ground you could hear children laughing in the play ground. "I Present to you... From Random Bullshit Incorporated, paired up with Pepsi.."

From the backstage speaker a slurred figure laughed and shouted, "Yup I'm drinking pepsi."

Another, older man shouted back at him, "Shut up you damned dumbass! We are about to go on stage!"

"Oh Sorry!" The slurred speaker gave a hiccup and laughed.

"I would like to give you..." The announcer paused for any more interuptions, but after a few seconds hollered, "Batnut and Gang!"

A few cords struck from a guitar, lights started to swirl around and smoke filtered the stage creating a silhouette of a small bat like creature, "Time to play the game..."

The crowd began to cheer. A few more cords were struck, " It's to play the game!!!!! Hahahaha"

A few more cords were strung followed by another evil laugh. Finally the speakers all around blared out playing, an actual hard rhythmic tune full of bass.

"It's all about the game and how you play it.
All about control and if you can take it.
All about your debt and if you can pay it.
It's all about pain and who's gonna make it.

I am the game, you don't wanna play me.
I am control, no way you can change me.
I am heavy debt, no way you can pay me.
I am the pain and I know you can't take me.

Look over your shoulder, ready to run.
Like a good little bitch, from a smoking gun.
I am the game and I make the rules.
So move on out here and die like a fool.
Try to figure out what my moods gonna be.
Come on over sucker, why don't you ask me?
Don't you forget that the price you can pay
Cause I am the game and I want to play...."

A guitar squeeled as a seperate guitar was strung hard twice, over and over at a constant rhythm. soon though, it died into a low strum as the smoke settled and a spotlight settled on character. He was dressed almost as a bat, but had green hair sticking out the top of his head, had a 'B' on his chest, and almost looked like a puppet. "Are you ready???" He asked in his in his dark voice as another guitar strummed hard

The audience screamed in excitement....

"Are you hungry???" The costumed character asked. Again the crowd screamed.

"Do you want some gingerbread?" The dark voice continued, but shook his head, haha "Naw I'm just kidding. But well I do know what I like... It's a little bit better then pepsi though... It's nutty... and creamy...It's called Peanut butter.... And Jelly!!!!" THen the dark knight imitation yanked off his mask and shouted to the top of his lungs, "It's peanut butter jelly time!

Another spotlight turned on shining on and elder man the same size as his purple companion and repeated "Peanut butter jelly time!"
Finally a third spotlight appeared on another short character. This one was staggering wore a blue hat that said 'Pepsy' writen in black marker. He took a swig of a blue can that had white tape across it that also was marked 'Pepsy'. His gut stuck out from the bottom of his shirt and he gave a goofy assed grin, "Deeeerrrraaaaa", he belched, "Haha. I'm drinking pepsi... Oh I mean, Peanut butter jelly time!"

A beat hit and all three, the third one off key, kicked there legs out and had their arms stretched out in a 'v.' They bent at the knees

Where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?

A jalepeno on a stick was seen hopping across the stage. The crowd cheered

NowThere he go
There he go
There he go
There he go

Peanut Butter Jelly !
Peanut Butter Jelly!
Peanut Butter Jelly!
Peanut Butter Jelly!


Do the Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat

The old man pulled a miniature baseball bat out of, who knows where, showed it real fast, and tucked it away.

Do the Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat

Again, the oldman pulled out his bat and showed it and replaced it.

Now where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?
Where he at?

Again the crod cheered as the jalepeno hopped across the stage.

NowThere he go
There he go
There he go
There he gaahahahahahah

The older man had stopped, pulled his bat out and used it to trip the jalepeno as he crossed him, "Thats for not having arms and legs, you damned dumbass!" Quickly they all recovered and continued their dance , the jalepeno standing next to his attack just hopping around.

NowPeanut Butter Jelly !
Peanut Butter Jelly!
Peanut Butter Jelly!
Peanut Butter Jelly!


Do the Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat
Do the Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly
Peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat


Now break it down and freeze

They all froze, the music stopped and the lights soon turned black.

"Hey Jose", the purple singer called out, hardly able to cantain his laughter.

"Jalepeno!On a steek beetch!"

"You going to let Walter do that to you?" The leader continued in the dark.

"I didn't feel a Fuckin' THAAAANG!" Someone called out from somewhere.

"I didn't feel anything either derrrr. I'm drinking pepsi." The slurred one called.

"Thats cuz you are drunk, Bubba J! And Pepsi is spelled P-E-P-S-I, youu redneck bastard! Oh look! He's making a left turn!!!" The voice mocked the drunkard.

"What? NASCAR's on? I'm missing it? Oh! I need another pepsi anyways, I'll let you guys know who is winning!"

"Hey Jose! Do you guys eat jelly where you are from?" It was the lead singer.

"No Peanut, they don't. They have a different, pallette of taste buds. " It was Walter, the old man.

"Yes we do. We have jalapeno jelly." Jose answered.

"Dahfuq? That doesn't sound good at all." Peanut shouted in protest.

"I'll go make you and Walter some right now, senor! I'll squeeze it out of my ass and down my steek, and I hope it burn's both your asses when it's done. You damn bastards!"

Suddenly, a spotlight appeared on three beings. One was smaller then everyone, was nearly flat, and was actually a gingerbread cookie. The one in the middle was tall and dressed in a red and black suit, with a neon sign above his head that flashed, 'Deadpool'. The third character, Retane knew all too well and looked to his arm and face palmed. Of course this would be where he went. It was Arith, his ally, wearing his golden dragon armor.

"NOW STOP!" The Speakers blared. "HAMMERTIME!!!"

A beat started then and the three simitaneosly moved from left to right their feet wide out and moving quickly.

"How dare you bastards try to bomb our show ,you asshole jews! That's my job." A skeleton character flew in from out of no wear, in a miniatire aircraft , he tried to shoot at the trio, but realized there were no guns. "DAMMIT! I don't want to suicide bomb again!"

The GIngerbread man started a beat then as the skeleton circled above. "Du du du-du, du du du-du. Du du du-du, du du du-du.Du du..."

Deadpool started as soon as the beat hit though,

Some legends are told
Some turn to dust or to gold
But you will remember me
Remember me for centuries
And just one mistake
Is all it will take
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
He-e-e-ey ya, oh he-e-e-ey
He-e-e-ey ya
Remember me for centuries

Arith broke in then, laughing as his beat interrupted the crimson and raven suited warrior. As the skeletal circled around waving.

'Cause we could be immortals, immortals
Just not for long, for long.
And live with me forever now,
You pull the blackout curtains down
Just not for long, for long.

We could be immooooooo- immortals,
Immooooooo- immortals,
Immooooooo- immortals,
Immooooooo- immortals.

Sometimes the only pay-off for having any faith
Is when it's tested again and again everyday.
I'm still comparing your past to my future.
It might be your wound but they're my sutures.

The music stopped then, and the lights shut off "Does everyone want it to happen? Does everyone want Achmed to Suicide bomb these three?"

The crowd cheered as loud as they could. And a spotlight showed on Achmed as he went directly at where the three should be, "Die you jew bastards!!!"

The lights went off then, and a dark voice boomed "Now do the Halrem Shake"

Flashing colored lights appeared, a disco ball was there spinning colors around the arena. Deadpool and his gingerbread freind were found riding off, somehow on the mini-red barron plane. Walter was riding around on Jose, smacking him on the 'steek', and hollering "dumbass". Achmed was drinking a 'pepsy' while Bubba J rolled on the floor crying about alcohol abuse. Peanut was humping on Arith's leg, but wearing Arith's mask, while Arith used a green top hat to cover his face and had his hand on the purple creature hand trying to force it towards the crotch.

The lights went black. Retane wondered what the hell he had just watched, and why he had just watched it....