04-25-2015, 06:11 AM
Retro Reviews
The Price of Freedom
Quite well done. Combat was very well done, and Lopunny was portrayed as far more than a normal type pokemon. The description of PokeBalls and her relationship with her trainer were masterfully done. The advantage of originating from a universe that seems to provide a very large amount of primes and secondaries are evident, allowing her to easily find a mentor, and someone to point her in the right direction. The only nitpick I have is the lack of detailed sensory information, and some bland language. For instance, "Dashing forward, she sent a really fast punch into Gengar’s chest, so fast that is sends electricity through his body." could be replaced with "Dashing forward, her fist crackling with arcs of electricity, her fist collides with Gengar's chest, wracking his body with lightning". It's more or less my own personal preference. All in all, it was a pleasure to read.
Giant Country
The fighting in this was done spectacularly. The Chosen Undead is obviously a warrior with experience to spare, which makes his thoughts during this battle a pleasure to read. Rather than the natural instinct most primes seem to have, the Chosen Undead make his moves based on deliberation and thought. Also of interest was the fact that he enjoyed the wonderful view from the mountain, and was refreshingly angst-free. If most people were an endlessly reincarnating undead, they probably would spend most of their time moping, whereas the Chosen is still able to enjoy existence, which is quite impressive.
Fear No Evil
A little short, but it does set the scene very well. Doomguy, cut off from his well-deserved vacation, stripped of his beloved weaponry (Which seems to have been his only non-hostile companionship in literal hell), and tossed into the Omniverse. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't be angered in such a situation. His choice of 'verse is reflective of his inner desires: To get away from hell and enjoy a goddamn vacation. A noble goal, to be sure. His side jokes are amusing, such as his comment on how the gate to the Vastly Deeps is surprisingly not a portal to hell. The question of his sanity is still being hotly debated, I'm sure. Overall, I quite enjoyed the read.
The Price of Freedom
Quite well done. Combat was very well done, and Lopunny was portrayed as far more than a normal type pokemon. The description of PokeBalls and her relationship with her trainer were masterfully done. The advantage of originating from a universe that seems to provide a very large amount of primes and secondaries are evident, allowing her to easily find a mentor, and someone to point her in the right direction. The only nitpick I have is the lack of detailed sensory information, and some bland language. For instance, "Dashing forward, she sent a really fast punch into Gengar’s chest, so fast that is sends electricity through his body." could be replaced with "Dashing forward, her fist crackling with arcs of electricity, her fist collides with Gengar's chest, wracking his body with lightning". It's more or less my own personal preference. All in all, it was a pleasure to read.
Giant Country
The fighting in this was done spectacularly. The Chosen Undead is obviously a warrior with experience to spare, which makes his thoughts during this battle a pleasure to read. Rather than the natural instinct most primes seem to have, the Chosen Undead make his moves based on deliberation and thought. Also of interest was the fact that he enjoyed the wonderful view from the mountain, and was refreshingly angst-free. If most people were an endlessly reincarnating undead, they probably would spend most of their time moping, whereas the Chosen is still able to enjoy existence, which is quite impressive.
Fear No Evil
A little short, but it does set the scene very well. Doomguy, cut off from his well-deserved vacation, stripped of his beloved weaponry (Which seems to have been his only non-hostile companionship in literal hell), and tossed into the Omniverse. I can't think of anyone who wouldn't be angered in such a situation. His choice of 'verse is reflective of his inner desires: To get away from hell and enjoy a goddamn vacation. A noble goal, to be sure. His side jokes are amusing, such as his comment on how the gate to the Vastly Deeps is surprisingly not a portal to hell. The question of his sanity is still being hotly debated, I'm sure. Overall, I quite enjoyed the read.
Torcher of tomes, slayer of sorcerers, taker of ears, and flayer of men. Reasonable rates.