03-27-2015, 09:20 PM
“Hello, Ominverse, I’m Ron Burgundy, bringing to you the most reliable news source in the Ominverse.”
With a cool grin, Ron glanced to make sure the graphic—an armored woman fighting a dragon—was properly in place.
“In your news, there seems to be word that the bounty hunter Cindy has gone missing. Those close to the traveling soldier-of-fortune state that she hasn’t frequented her usual haunts in months and left no sign to make them not believe that some sort of foul play is at hand. Cindy was part of a troupe of mercenaries and adventurers from several verses who joined forces to slay a dragon rampaging through Camelot.
“It is known that after the death of the Rathalos that Cindy was spotted with her own dragon, but other than that, there are no leads as to her whereabouts or what may have been the cause of her disappearance…”
Ron trailed off to provide himself time to drink some scotch. He glanced at one of his coworkers sitting at a desk off camera and muttered just softly enough for them to hear and no one else. “Never liked her… dirty swashbuckling soldier-of-fortune.”
Clearing his throat, Ron set down the rocks glass of scotch and turned back to his audience. “In other news, the Endless Dunes continues to be home to lovable egomaniacs, as Gilgamesh continues to attract people through his blustering charisma. Word on the street is he went so far as to travel to the Tangled Green to settle a twitter fight…” Ron paused to let that settle in. “No one is quite certain who emerged victorious.” The legendary anchorman took a moment to wink before the graphic changed once again.
“In tonight’s top pseudo-story, we’re happy to announce an upcoming interview with a young woman named ‘Android 18’.” Ron paused to glance at the picture of the individual in question. She was attractive, but her eyes were a little too cold for his tastes. It was as if she’d rip your heart out for complimenting her unnaturally perfect physique. “Android 18 comes to us as a representative of ‘Syntex Corporation’ … and who is sending her our way? None other than Karl Jak, our mysterious businessman with a love for vintage electronics…
With a cough, Ron took another long sip from his glass before placing it down.
“That’s all we have time for tonight. From all of us here at Omniverse News Network, I’m Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, Omniverse.”
With a cool grin, Ron glanced to make sure the graphic—an armored woman fighting a dragon—was properly in place.
“In your news, there seems to be word that the bounty hunter Cindy has gone missing. Those close to the traveling soldier-of-fortune state that she hasn’t frequented her usual haunts in months and left no sign to make them not believe that some sort of foul play is at hand. Cindy was part of a troupe of mercenaries and adventurers from several verses who joined forces to slay a dragon rampaging through Camelot.
“It is known that after the death of the Rathalos that Cindy was spotted with her own dragon, but other than that, there are no leads as to her whereabouts or what may have been the cause of her disappearance…”
Ron trailed off to provide himself time to drink some scotch. He glanced at one of his coworkers sitting at a desk off camera and muttered just softly enough for them to hear and no one else. “Never liked her… dirty swashbuckling soldier-of-fortune.”
Clearing his throat, Ron set down the rocks glass of scotch and turned back to his audience. “In other news, the Endless Dunes continues to be home to lovable egomaniacs, as Gilgamesh continues to attract people through his blustering charisma. Word on the street is he went so far as to travel to the Tangled Green to settle a twitter fight…” Ron paused to let that settle in. “No one is quite certain who emerged victorious.” The legendary anchorman took a moment to wink before the graphic changed once again.
“In tonight’s top pseudo-story, we’re happy to announce an upcoming interview with a young woman named ‘Android 18’.” Ron paused to glance at the picture of the individual in question. She was attractive, but her eyes were a little too cold for his tastes. It was as if she’d rip your heart out for complimenting her unnaturally perfect physique. “Android 18 comes to us as a representative of ‘Syntex Corporation’ … and who is sending her our way? None other than Karl Jak, our mysterious businessman with a love for vintage electronics…
With a cough, Ron took another long sip from his glass before placing it down.
“That’s all we have time for tonight. From all of us here at Omniverse News Network, I’m Ron Burgundy. You stay classy, Omniverse.”
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