Let's Read: Book Club #10, 11

[Proto Man]

The Pokemon Philosophy

(This was the first of your threads I read as Lolbunny and maybe the second thing I've read of you as a writer. Just putting that out there for the sake of clarity)

Despite the fact that you chose an inferior Pokémon (I'm racist toward any Pokemon after 250), I find Pokémon to be lovely characters. I like that most of what Lolbunny does is without much internal dialogue. She comes off much like I’d expect a somewhat sentient animal to do, with many of her emotions expressed through movement and demeanor rather than words. I feel like there were even times you didn’t actually need the italicized thoughts, because it just seemed redundant. Example would be early on, when they give her broccoli. The way which you have her inspect and subsequently devour it speaks more than having her outright thing ‘Oh, I must have been hungry.’

I was a bit bummed out when she spoke a common language of the Koopas, though =p , but the fact that you had Koopas in there overshadowed anything else, because Koopas are awesome. Had my own Ashen Steppes thread not been so intense and frantic, I would have included them to lighten the mood. Alas… till next time?

SEE! I knew her name was Lolbunny. I really, really enjoyed the scene in the stadium, with Bowser in the role of apathetic Roman Emperor. The use of Hammer Bros and Bullet Bills really pleased the part of me that still says Super Mario RPG is the greatest game ever made. I was sad when she left the next day, but I was nevertheless pleased to see the Koopas get some nice representation, especially with the Steppes being less prone to ‘tourism.’

And then you go, after a detour with dragons and a disturbing scene with birds, into Legend of Zelda land! Throwing her into another challenge-type situation felt a bit like a rehash, but then again, it fit with the very ‘action/adventure’ theme of Lolbunny’s story thus far. The conversation at the end of Part VI was harsh and made me snicker—‘You’re a Pokémon, all right.’

On a personal note, I really enjoyed the dialogue in Part VII, because it’s literally the antithesis of the Squirtle/Wartortle storyline I wrote years ago.

The training scenes were a neat way to have Lolbunny start down the path to masterin’ herself. I felt like I was reading the movie equivalent of a would-be martial artist finding a zen master in the mountains and trying to learn their secrets. I enjoyed the little amusing scenes thrown in there, as well as getting more information about Lolbunny’s former master. I also enjoyed the connections to Cinnibar and the PLF that came at the tail-end of the topic.

All in all, it was a nice read. I’m a fan of less conventional characters (as I would consider any Pokémon to be), so I liked Lolbunny. I was sad when she became more anthropomorphic (talking more), but most of me chalked that up to being with another Pokémon (and as far as I know, that was always your intention).

As for ‘areas of improvement,’ I have a few points. My first would be to make sure you have a good word processor to help catch flubs in spelling and grammar. My other one would be to pay attention to your tenses. I got the impression the thread was supposed to be entirely in present tense, but there was enough past tense thrown in there to confuse me.

My last thing, and most cosmetic thing, would probably be to try including blank lines between paragraphs. I know that’s not the convention you would use if you were writing a novel, but I’ve learned with play-by-posts that it helps make things so much easier to read and it doesn’t make everything seem so clumped together.