Dante's Abyss Power Rankings

[PepsiWhirda]

Hi, I'm Whirda Windstrom—a competitor in this year's Dante's Abyss.  

Do you dream of cutting down your foes on the battlefield?  Of power and prestige?

When I was a kid, I had those dreams too.  And do you know what helped me achieve those dreams?  That's right—the cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.  One sip, and I was faster, stronger, and smarter than ever before.  So if you want to be like me, killing and maiming your way to ultimate victory, crack open a bottle of Pepsi today!

Mention this Dataverse message and receive a 20% discount on your next Pepsi purchase.

*Pepsi is a registered trademark of PEPSICO, INC., an affiliate of Syntech Corp.  In no event shall PEPSICO, INC., its subsidiaries, affiliates, agents, representatives, or licensees be held liable for any special, incidental, indirect, consequential, punitive, or other damages.  Any claim that Pepsi improves performance is anecdotal and has not been verified by the appropriate independent regulatory bodies.  Side effects of Pepsi include weight gain, jitters, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea, headaches, toothaches, earaches, aches, spontaneous combustion, stroke, heart attack, and death.  Do not consume Pepsi while pregnant, driving a car, operating heavy machinery, or breathing.  Aforementioned 20% discount is not valid in the Tangled Green due to a territorial dispute with Guuacola.  Restrictions may apply.

Dictated, but not read.