06-13-2018, 11:03 PM
Jack just couldn’t help himself. His face lifted in a gleeful grin. This was literally the best day ever. He’d never been happier. And why shouldn’t he be happy? Here he was, safe and sound under his Stealth Field, watching a machete-wielding colossus just kick the ever-loving crap out of the Gipper. On a scale from one to ten, Jack was at a fifteen. That is, until Jason pimp-slapped White Jesus straight towards him.
“ShitshitshitshitFUCK!” Jack bellowed in a totally manly and not juvenile manner as Dane unceremoniously slammed into him. Tumbling to the stone tiles in a tangled heap with his partner, Jack silently begged for his Field Generator to hold up. For a moment, it seemed it might pull though, as it whined and sputtered under the strain of maintaining the Field. But, in the end, it was too much for the little machine, and its capacitor popped with a puff of acrid smoke, forcing Jack back into visibility.
“Goddammit, Fabio!” Jack growled, kicking the still reeling Dane off of him. “Why’d you have to go and do that for, huh? Now we’re BOTH fucked!”
It took a few seconds for the pair to right themselves, but fortunately their murderous foe seemed content with his slow stride towards them. Not really sure how menancing a guy can be when a brisk walk is all it takes to escape you, but whatever. Slapping a hand onto Dane’s shoulder, Jack leaned in close and spoke softly to the guy.
“Listen, puddin’... I got one last trick that I think should do it. Upside is: I can pull it off with just one arm.”
“... What’s the downside?”
Jack smirked wryly, risking a side-long glance over at his partner, “You’ll have to distract him while I set it up…”
“Well, that’s not TOO bad,” Dane muttered doubtfully.
“For five minutes,” Jack finished, returning his gaze to the force of nature plodding menacingly towards them. “And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one… Eh, nevermind. I’m sure you can handle it.”
“Uh… I don’t think this is really a good idea…”
“Nah! You’ll be fine!” Jack replied with a laugh and a hard slap to Dane’s posterior. “Go get ‘im, tiger!”
With a backwards glance and an audible ‘gulp’ of nervousness, Dane reluctantly stepped towards the waiting serial killer. And… just got his fucking ass kicked. It was brutal. Like, watching a pitbull with a squirrel brutal. The type of shit they wouldn’t air on HBO because it’d be too graphic. Seriously, Jason might have even violated the poor boy with that machete in ways that would make him unfit for a lover. Or maybe all this is just an exaggeration and metaphor is an easy way to mask laziness in writing? Anyway, the whole massacre ended with the Reganator getting tossed back towards his partner like a ragdoll. Pretty sure arms aren’t SUPPOSED to bend that way. Or spines… Whatever.
“Ugh… god… why..?” Dane groaned painfully, unwanted tears clouding his vision of Handsome Jack. With a growl, he asked, “Are you done yet?!”
“Done with wha- OH! Oh the plan! Yeah… about that…” Jack sheepishly explained with a laugh. “Sorry, pumpkin. I figured you and Steroid Gretsky were getting along so well, I kinda just forgot about the plan. Don’t worry though...”
Handsome Jack took a knee, patting Dane on the back with his good hand. “I didn’t need five minutes anyway,” he finished, touching a button on his Holographic Projector. In a cascade of brilliant cubes of light, a digital duplicate of the duplicitous director formed to his right. Simultaneous grins flashed over their mugs, as they focused the aim of their sub-machine guns on their opponent.
“If you think this is gonna go the same way as before, pal… you don’t know Jack!” they quipped in unison, releasing a salvo of ammunition at the stalwart murderer.
“ShitshitshitshitFUCK!” Jack bellowed in a totally manly and not juvenile manner as Dane unceremoniously slammed into him. Tumbling to the stone tiles in a tangled heap with his partner, Jack silently begged for his Field Generator to hold up. For a moment, it seemed it might pull though, as it whined and sputtered under the strain of maintaining the Field. But, in the end, it was too much for the little machine, and its capacitor popped with a puff of acrid smoke, forcing Jack back into visibility.
“Goddammit, Fabio!” Jack growled, kicking the still reeling Dane off of him. “Why’d you have to go and do that for, huh? Now we’re BOTH fucked!”
It took a few seconds for the pair to right themselves, but fortunately their murderous foe seemed content with his slow stride towards them. Not really sure how menancing a guy can be when a brisk walk is all it takes to escape you, but whatever. Slapping a hand onto Dane’s shoulder, Jack leaned in close and spoke softly to the guy.
“Listen, puddin’... I got one last trick that I think should do it. Upside is: I can pull it off with just one arm.”
“... What’s the downside?”
Jack smirked wryly, risking a side-long glance over at his partner, “You’ll have to distract him while I set it up…”
“Well, that’s not TOO bad,” Dane muttered doubtfully.
“For five minutes,” Jack finished, returning his gaze to the force of nature plodding menacingly towards them. “And considering he beat us to a pulp in under one… Eh, nevermind. I’m sure you can handle it.”
“Uh… I don’t think this is really a good idea…”
“Nah! You’ll be fine!” Jack replied with a laugh and a hard slap to Dane’s posterior. “Go get ‘im, tiger!”
With a backwards glance and an audible ‘gulp’ of nervousness, Dane reluctantly stepped towards the waiting serial killer. And… just got his fucking ass kicked. It was brutal. Like, watching a pitbull with a squirrel brutal. The type of shit they wouldn’t air on HBO because it’d be too graphic. Seriously, Jason might have even violated the poor boy with that machete in ways that would make him unfit for a lover. Or maybe all this is just an exaggeration and metaphor is an easy way to mask laziness in writing? Anyway, the whole massacre ended with the Reganator getting tossed back towards his partner like a ragdoll. Pretty sure arms aren’t SUPPOSED to bend that way. Or spines… Whatever.
“Ugh… god… why..?” Dane groaned painfully, unwanted tears clouding his vision of Handsome Jack. With a growl, he asked, “Are you done yet?!”
“Done with wha- OH! Oh the plan! Yeah… about that…” Jack sheepishly explained with a laugh. “Sorry, pumpkin. I figured you and Steroid Gretsky were getting along so well, I kinda just forgot about the plan. Don’t worry though...”
Handsome Jack took a knee, patting Dane on the back with his good hand. “I didn’t need five minutes anyway,” he finished, touching a button on his Holographic Projector. In a cascade of brilliant cubes of light, a digital duplicate of the duplicitous director formed to his right. Simultaneous grins flashed over their mugs, as they focused the aim of their sub-machine guns on their opponent.
“If you think this is gonna go the same way as before, pal… you don’t know Jack!” they quipped in unison, releasing a salvo of ammunition at the stalwart murderer.
Quote: 629 words of dumpster fire, according to Google Docs. Jack uses 2 SP to activate Dem Digits for a Round. His Stealth Field Generator is broken and he's currently using his Quicky alongside his Assist
![[Image: Jacksig.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/04/13/Jacksig.png)