Bonus Request Topic/Quest Turn-in Topic

[The Humble Sage]

This just in: http://omniverse-rpg.com/showthread.php?tid=10106
Quest or Personal Storyline: Personal storyline
Participating characters: Erik Vrell
Total character count including spaces: 54,809
Total word count: 9,790

Both word and character counts are from wordcounter.net

Yo! guest-judging this one to help get things up to date for DA!

I have elected to award this thread EXCELLENT (75% bonus OM)

Erik Vrell: 822 OM

Mechanics: pretty good imo. There were a couple misspellings and one or two times where I had to read back through to understand exactly what you meant do to a mixed up word. But its nothing that more careful proofreading wouldn't catch.

Plot/Pacing: This is perhaps the hardest thing for me to judge about omniverse threads, due to their nature of not being a singular story most of the time. I appreciated the tone, where you kept a comedic bent with Sandhawk and the Team Bandit situations, only to turn it around by making Emperor Scorpion actually a threat. Up until the last two posts it feels like a nicely cut episodic show. (complete with character antics and the main character smiling) then due to the nature of the omniverse, we shift tones as you make the explanation for your new weaponry. I'm all for that, btw, its a well designed couple of posts and shows just how far Erik will go for his goals (and his general lack of understanding of the risks) So I don't want to say that the last two posts are bad in and of themselves. They just almost feel like they are part of a different storyline.

Characterization: There's a reason Sand Hawk is making such a stir over in the accolades thread. He's a very well done npc, with a good sense of comedic timing. I thought I was going to get annoyed by him after the first post, but the character evolves over the thread, and his 100% willingness to break his own arm into splinters to defeat the boss completely fits with what has been seen of the character so far. You also did a good job of having each character straight man for the other, Erik realizing how much posturing Sandhawk does, while the bandit realizes how little Erik is worrying about lodging an unknown barbed object in his spleen.

Aesthetic/Creativity: Though I can't say that the plotline itself has any real surprises, that's not the point of the thread. This is a feel-good romp with a colorful cast of NPCs, and I appreciated the creativity that went into their creation. 

Style: I've read a few other threads with Erik in them, and I appreciate your understanding of his power level in the Omniverse. You do a good job of placing him consistently above average, but still leaving him open to mess-ups and bad situations. I have noticed also that your threads tend to lean towards a light irony, whether it be in interactions or the situations etc. This can certainly work in such a bizarre place as the Omniverse.

You got a good thing going here, kid! Keep at 'em!