Bonus Request Topic/Quest Turn-in Topic

[PepsiWhirda]

[NPC][LiN] Email: Zubair el-Sahli to Victor Wolfe
Personal Storyline; seeking Participation Bonus
Participating characters: Zubair el-Sahli (secondary) [P/D log] | Victor Wolfe [P/D log]
Total character count including spaces: 11,514 [Zubair el-Sahli (4,896) | Victor Wolfe (6,618)]
Total word count: 2,013  [Zubair el-Sahli (810) | Victor Wolfe (1,203)]

Hey Skadi & Victor,

I'll keep my comments brief for this one. 

Mechanics: Decent overall.  I would have liked to see some uniformity of formatting in the From and To lines, but great attention to detail overall.  No glaring spelling or grammar issues to be noted.

Plot/Pacing: Not much to comment on here.  The chain of emails proceeded organically and each question was answered well. 

Characterization: The formality of Vic's responses is definitely a departure from the stories, which I consider to be very excellent character development.  The fact that Vic is a homicidal maniac most of the time, but still shows his diplomatic side in professional correspondence, is a gem. 

Aesthetic/Creativity: Not much to comment on for aesthetic, as this is just emails.  As far as creativity goes, I was thrilled to see how true the questions were to how an actual political interview might go.  Targeted, poignant questions and a great exchange. 

Style: This is my first time reading anything from the Dataverse message boards, but I'm truly sold on the concept after seeing this.  It adds great flavor and a rich layer of realism to the world to have multiple formats through which to express continuity.  I appreciate that you both kept your tone formal.  It was definitely a departure from the other Vic Wolfe stories I've read to see him keeping his composure and not being a goofy maniac—just like I have to be a good boy in my work emails but all hell breaks loose when I'm "out of character."  Good stuff. 

[spoiler]Too short for any bonus other than participation.  I removed the Subject, From, and To lines from the calculation (with Vic's assistance) because they don't vary from post to post and shouldn't be included in a bonus in my opinion.[/spoiler]

Bonus: Participation (+50%)
OM Earned: Victor (5,926 characters) 59.26 OM; Skadi (4,121 characters) 41.21 OM

EDIT: The OM has been Visioned