06-02-2018, 09:55 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-03-2018, 01:03 PM by Wyatt the Swift.)
(05-29-2018, 08:21 AM)Ash Wrote: One Hell of a Ransome Note
Personal
Ash the Storm Demon
8,218 words
44,356 characters
Erik Vrell
2,348 words
13,594 characters
I am awarding the Participation Bonus to both participants and the GREAT bonus to Ash.
Ash OM Earned: 887.12
Erik Vrell OM Earned: 135.94
Grammar and Spelling:
All fine here!
Description and Clarity:
I am a fan of the ‘not too much, not too little’ style of description that you both seem to follow. I don’t need to read any more about about sand dunes honestly, I was much more interested in the characters and plots, and that was what you both chose to focus on.
The action was sublime, you both are amazing fighters. I would totally judge your guys fight if you have one.
Voice:
Ash as always takes long, lingering looks at her protagonist, and manages to make it cool. While I haven’t read Erik before, his casual approach to a serious character makes the thread very easy and enjoyable to read. Both writers kept a consistent voice and pacing throughout the thread, and the same theme and style that made it read so exceptionally well.
Character:
First of all, Sand Hawk for NPC of the month. His upbeat demeanor and comic relief ties the whole thread together. You guys both wrote him so well, it was like you were the same writer. Skull Face was likewise a barbaric and interesting villian.
Ash remains a consistently sexy, fiery, yet vulnerable character. You build up her story to the point that the reader becomes invested in her emotions as much as she is.
Erik is a complex and interesting character, and yet I learned so much about him just by being shown in this thread.
Story:
A quirky subversion of a damsel-in-distress quest set in the Endless Dunes. I think it’s awesome, a fully self-contained story that might branch into a long-term plotline or easily fade into history. It was Ash at her sexy actiony best, while pushing forward the character’s personal plots.
Writer Chemistry: Off the charts, you guys write amazing together. Your writing voices are nearly twins.
-Wyatt edit--- KAB[OM]