Who's Your Daddy

[Demetri Malius]

Gabriella watched as the big shit introduced himself to their little shit. She tried to look as annoyed as possible, waiting for him to turn to her and see her gruntled attitude at him for leaving her. It wouldn’t be long until he would be hearing about the year and a half that had past since they had that one night stand. The best one she ever had though, had to give him that. Plus she didn’t go praying mantis on him either.

She listened on as he used his charms, trying to both dissuade her anger and persuade her body. Damn, he was so good she hated it. Just the right amount of power trip.

“Why the fuck not I guess.” She said, trying to hide her smirk. She was actually pretty pleased with herself and glad she was being welcomed, she didn't want to have to deal with the aftermath of killing a few guards. Speaking of guards, she was also content to find Victor already standing up for their quickly growing little girl, tossing around threats like they were going out of style, and damn did that man have style.

Enough with the eye candy though. He still had to make up for the lost time.

Valerie stuck her tongue out at the guards who questioned her presence as they walked past, presenting her sharp teeth that she inherited from her mother. One of the victims of the accidental teeth baring flinched backward a step, not expecting such sharp canines. 

The spawn of lust and savagery was all too happy to find her long-lost father. Back in the Pale Moors, her mother had managed to look up clips and images of her father on one of the shows that air every year, called Dante’s abyss. She was mesmerized by his skill and wanted to be as quick and smart as he was. However, she also wanted to be just as strong and formidable as her mother. She loved both her parents dearly and was quickly filling their shoes. Now if only she would get a chance to prove herself.

It wasn't long before they had found their way into a tavern, in which Victor paid off the bartender to leave them alone. Out of the assassin’s mouth came all the same questions Gabby had come here to ask.

"Ok, age, what, how, so big, undead, birth. OK, I don't know where to begin so can you shed some light on why our three-month-year-old looks to be about ten and how this even happened in the first place?

“DAD I’M FOUR!” Came the immediate reply of his daughter.

“That doesn’t make it any less confusing.” Victor rubbed the side of his head as he tried to recalculate the math of age.

“Woah, alright, listen dipshit, I came here to ask you those same questions. I can’t keep up with her damn clothes by shooting the shit in the Moors alright? This isn’t even supposed to be possible with how my body works, and yet here we fucking are. What kinda supercum do primes have?”

“I don’t know but I can at least guarantee that you lucked out on the best. Now about our precious little monster.” Victor, realizing that Gabby was just as clueless, figured that she was going to be no help in all of this besides looking good. He walked over to his daughter and couched down a bit to get to her level. “So what is the name of my beautiful daughter?”

“Valerie! I really like that name, and I like yours too daddy! I saw all of the stuff you did in the death tournament and it was AWESOME. Maybe you can show me a few of your tricks? I’ve been practicing fighting with mommy but she won't let me hold her ax or guns yet…”

Victor was impressed. Much more initiative and intent to learn than he originally expected. “As much as I would want to see what you can do with them, maybe she does have a point. By the way, it looks though, you won’t have to wait long to use the big girl weapons. Maybe I can show you a few easier tricks you can do while you’re still growing, hmm?” He gave her a wink and a father’s smile.

“Really?! I’m going to be able to fight and go in the death tournament and kill everyone!” She roared a bit, baring her teeth to show her ferocity.

Perhaps a little too much initiative. Victor spoke up giving a skeptical look, “Now hold on, no death tournaments for you, daddy is a prime, and that means if he fucks up, he can come back any time he wants to. Now, even though I know that you would probably win the tournament no problem, some people can be cowards and will gank you by literally becoming a flying pink douchebag. Then your  mother would be very upset, and we can’t have that now can we?”

“No… I guess not.” She sighed as she let her head hang with her arms at her side.


“But hey, tell you what. If you grow up pretty quickly and show me you can handle yourself, I’ll let you come with me on missions for ol’ goldie. How does that sound?”

“Yeah!” the small child raised her fists and began to dance around, hyped up from her father and talking to herself about things she would do to impress him and fight. Victor stood up, not even needing to distract his daughter as she seemed to have done it herself. This gave him a chance to speak with Gabriella more privately.


“So honey, do you think I make a good dad?” The assassin gave a smirk and shimmied his way over to his lover.

“Well you got the sexy bod, the charm, and soft touch, but so long as you lay off any shitty dad puns I think I can roll with it. Now, you owe me a years worth of fucking orgasms.”
Victor didn't even need to calculate that. “Damn. I don’t even know if we have the time to make up for all of that, especially since I’m gonna be heading into the tournament this year as well.”

Silence. Victor stared at the narrowed eyes now laid down upon him.

“Hey, it’s you with the bad timing. I was actually on my way to sign up before I heard you arrived at the gate.”

“So fucking what.”

Victor looked around as he thought of a way to deter any more hostility. “How about if I throw in some fodder for you and little Val to play with while I’m gone. In fact,” he paced around for a moment before snapping his fingers. “I just got some delicious prisoners that we just captured. How about we go ahead and let our daughter practice her skills? I’m sure she will appreciate the little treats.”

“You’re such a sly little fucker and I love it.” She smiled, as it seemed Victor managed to tame the beast once again. “You know, all this sweet talk is kinda turning me on, maybe we can find someplace really quick to release some long built tension.” She ran her fingers up his arms, feeling the slowly fading scars of the recent plan Victor had executed on the rebelling oligarchy.

“I’M A PIRANHA! AHM AHM AHM.” the sounds of chomping teeth interrupted the rising dirty talk as their daughter came back. “Did you guys say something about toys?!”

Victor smiled as Gabriella beat him to the reply. “Yeah, your dad got lucky with a big deal on boy-toys. Just remember, no dick or ball chomping till you grow tits or whatever.” As she spoke, Victor realized that it was true that they would not be able to exactly determine when she was of legal age, but breasts were a good point of reference. 

“Okay!” She gleefully accepted, most likely not even fazed by the restriction set upon her.

Gabriella turned her head back to Victor as she gave him a dirty look. “So? You ready to head somewhere whip it out or what?” She leaned in close. “Just make sure we get someone capable to watch our daughter, she’s just as much trouble as we are.”