07-17-2017, 01:19 PM
A Chamander... W.T.F.
It was better than Marcel—right now anything was better than Marcel—but I still wanted to cringe.
The feelings that overwhelmed me were a mixture of disappointment and bewilderment. Somehow, my glorious Charizard—destroyer of trainers, and torturer of Metapods—had reverted into his first form; the once bonfire that consumed the end of his tail was now smaller than the flame of an ember.
“Chamander!” the pokemon said, full of glee. He stared at me with the sparkling eyes of a child's innocence.
How disgusting. I wiped my hand over my face, and let out a deep sigh. “Return, Charmander.” The same red beam that materialized Charmander snatched him back into the pokeball.
As I latched the pokeball onto my waistband, my eyes were chained to the mysterious orb. Fractured memories started to float in my head. I remembered a vague being—naked, and without genitals—smiling at me. He handed me—
“Omnilium,” the word spilled from my mouth. “With it, all things are possible.” Consciously, I knew nothing about this Omnilium; but subconsciously, I felt as if there was never a period that I didn't know about it. It was like lullaby programmed into an infant through constant repetition. “You will find that using it comes naturally. Just think of what you desire most.”
I thought about my bike. The red paint. The chrome. The bumper sticker on the back fender: I <3 Tits. It was the best goddamn 21spd money could buy; usually, it costed more than a bajillion pokecoins, but mine was free—I stole that bitch while the clerk had his back turned.
That's what I wanted: my bicycle.
The orb began to glow; my eyes widened. Before my awe subsided, my 21spd appeared in front of me—fuckin' A!!!
I launched my fist at the air, knocking out my imaginary misfortune from earlier. Finally, something positive.
It was better than Marcel—right now anything was better than Marcel—but I still wanted to cringe.
The feelings that overwhelmed me were a mixture of disappointment and bewilderment. Somehow, my glorious Charizard—destroyer of trainers, and torturer of Metapods—had reverted into his first form; the once bonfire that consumed the end of his tail was now smaller than the flame of an ember.
“Chamander!” the pokemon said, full of glee. He stared at me with the sparkling eyes of a child's innocence.
How disgusting. I wiped my hand over my face, and let out a deep sigh. “Return, Charmander.” The same red beam that materialized Charmander snatched him back into the pokeball.
As I latched the pokeball onto my waistband, my eyes were chained to the mysterious orb. Fractured memories started to float in my head. I remembered a vague being—naked, and without genitals—smiling at me. He handed me—
“Omnilium,” the word spilled from my mouth. “With it, all things are possible.” Consciously, I knew nothing about this Omnilium; but subconsciously, I felt as if there was never a period that I didn't know about it. It was like lullaby programmed into an infant through constant repetition. “You will find that using it comes naturally. Just think of what you desire most.”
I thought about my bike. The red paint. The chrome. The bumper sticker on the back fender: I <3 Tits. It was the best goddamn 21spd money could buy; usually, it costed more than a bajillion pokecoins, but mine was free—I stole that bitch while the clerk had his back turned.
That's what I wanted: my bicycle.
The orb began to glow; my eyes widened. Before my awe subsided, my 21spd appeared in front of me—fuckin' A!!!
I launched my fist at the air, knocking out my imaginary misfortune from earlier. Finally, something positive.