05-25-2018, 10:23 AM
Erik stretched uneasily in the recording studio, still getting used to the chains bound around him. It wasn't easy to get comfortable when sudden movements sent brutal pins and needles through your body. The psychic opened his mouth to make idle conversation with Sand Hawk before the air was pierced by the sound of a megaphone-projected voice.
“King Gilgamesh doesn't have a wife.” Erik said, mystified. Realising that there must have been a mistake. The psychic was almost tempted to let someone else handle the situation and return to sleep, before the bandit’s threat seemed to turn his blood to ice. Erik didn't doubt that the bandit and his gang would do the unthinkable, and couldn't even stand the thought of it. A sour look crossed his face as he rose to his feet, omnillium orb in hand.
“Are we going to go do something about that?!” Sand Hawk asked.
“Yeah. Don't just run in and do what you normally do, though, I have a plan.” Erik said grimly as he started to summon something.
“No, I'm telling you, this sword premium shit. The guy who sold it to me told me the dwarves made it.” Toecutter said, motioning wildly to his unconvinced tribemate.
“It's clearly made from sheet metal. It's not even straight, for god’s sake.” Kneecap Nelson replied, shaking his head in disappointment. “You've got to learn to stop falling for blatant forgeries like that.”
“Morning, gentlemen.” Erik said in his typical monotone, sounding strangely alien to the manically emotive bandits. Toecutter shrieked in surprise as the psychic spoke, caught unaware.
“I mean, aaaaaaargh!” Toecutter said nervously, apparently attempting to redo his scream.
“How long have you been there?” Nelson asked, clutching at his heart.
“About five minutes.” Erik replied casually.
“Then how the hell did we not notice you?” Toecutter inquired, squinting in suspicion.
“No idea.” Erik said with a shrug. “I've come on behalf of Gilgamesh to deliver the crown to your boss.” As he said this, Erik raised a briefcase and opened it up, presenting what appeared to be a plastic crown, set with fake jewels and pearls.
“Daaaamn.” Toecutter said, reaching out to touch it before Erik slapped his hand away. “The boss is going to be reeeeeal happy today.”
“What was I just telling you?” Nelson asked incredulously. “This is faker than your sword.”
“My sword is authentic tho-”
“NO IT FUCKING ISN’T!”
“What are you idiots doing down there?” A powerful voice called from above. The three men on the ground looked up, coming face to face with the bandit lord, having got up from his chair to see what the commotion was.
“This guy’s brought your crown!” Toecutter announced, motioning wildly towards Erik. “It's so shiny boss, and it's got so many jewels!”
“Huh, so Gilgamesh himself didn't show.” Skull-Face spat venomously. “Very well, I'll see the gilded coward when I take my city, anyway.”
“Boss, this isn't the crown!” Nelson called, desperately trying to shut up Toecutter’s ramblings.
“What?!” Skull-Face said. “You’re mad, coming here with a fake crown. Get ‘im, boys, we can always use another bargaining chip.”
Another two bandits dropped into the the sands below, an assortment weapons, including Toecutter’s sheet metal sword, poised as the psychic. Skull-Face turned to sit back down in his chair when he noticed something strange. Was that large pile of sand there when he got up? The bandit lord moved to check the pile, before it seemed to explode before him.
“You face Sand Hawk, master of the invincible technique; Sand Veil!” Sand Hawk announced as he burst from the pile, hurling a fistful of knives at Skull-Face.
“What!?” The bandit lord gasped as he raised his arms, defending himself from the flying blades. Although he managed to prevent any serious damage, Skull-Face found himself slipping off the edge of the platform and onto the sand below. Sand Hawk shot Erik a thumbs up as one of the bandits on the platform moved to engage him, the new New Babylonian making his way towards the holding cell.
“Don't kill them.” Skull-Face said slowly as he got to his feet. “Just make their capture as agonising as possible.” The bandits circling Erik began to advance, reassured by the fact that he made no effort to defend himself. Just as the first swing began to fall towards his, however, everything seemed to happen in an instant. Chains unraveled themselves from around Erik’s torso before emerging from the back of his shirt, extending out the wide sleeves of his cloak. The animated weapons bound themselves around each of Erik’s assailants, binding them like great metal serpents. The bandits let out choked cries as the steel constructed them, their leader held at bay by the remaining two chains.
“Boy, you have no idea what you're dealing with.” Skull-Face said as Erik released the bandit lord’s unconscious goons.
“There's not much that you can do to phase me.” Erik said matter-of-factly.
“We’ll see. BOYS, RILE ‘EM UP!” Skull-Face called, before a chorus of low notes resounded from the assorted lizard carriages. The beasts didn't seem to enjoy the sounds, their eyes narrowing as they seemed to transform from peaceful transportation animals to feral monsters.
‘Perhaps it was a bad idea to do this alone.’ Erik thought as he moved to engage Skull-Face, praying he wouldn't be crushed or eaten alive.
“King Gilgamesh doesn't have a wife.” Erik said, mystified. Realising that there must have been a mistake. The psychic was almost tempted to let someone else handle the situation and return to sleep, before the bandit’s threat seemed to turn his blood to ice. Erik didn't doubt that the bandit and his gang would do the unthinkable, and couldn't even stand the thought of it. A sour look crossed his face as he rose to his feet, omnillium orb in hand.
“Are we going to go do something about that?!” Sand Hawk asked.
“Yeah. Don't just run in and do what you normally do, though, I have a plan.” Erik said grimly as he started to summon something.
“No, I'm telling you, this sword premium shit. The guy who sold it to me told me the dwarves made it.” Toecutter said, motioning wildly to his unconvinced tribemate.
“It's clearly made from sheet metal. It's not even straight, for god’s sake.” Kneecap Nelson replied, shaking his head in disappointment. “You've got to learn to stop falling for blatant forgeries like that.”
“Morning, gentlemen.” Erik said in his typical monotone, sounding strangely alien to the manically emotive bandits. Toecutter shrieked in surprise as the psychic spoke, caught unaware.
“I mean, aaaaaaargh!” Toecutter said nervously, apparently attempting to redo his scream.
“How long have you been there?” Nelson asked, clutching at his heart.
“About five minutes.” Erik replied casually.
“Then how the hell did we not notice you?” Toecutter inquired, squinting in suspicion.
“No idea.” Erik said with a shrug. “I've come on behalf of Gilgamesh to deliver the crown to your boss.” As he said this, Erik raised a briefcase and opened it up, presenting what appeared to be a plastic crown, set with fake jewels and pearls.
“Daaaamn.” Toecutter said, reaching out to touch it before Erik slapped his hand away. “The boss is going to be reeeeeal happy today.”
“What was I just telling you?” Nelson asked incredulously. “This is faker than your sword.”
“My sword is authentic tho-”
“NO IT FUCKING ISN’T!”
“What are you idiots doing down there?” A powerful voice called from above. The three men on the ground looked up, coming face to face with the bandit lord, having got up from his chair to see what the commotion was.
“This guy’s brought your crown!” Toecutter announced, motioning wildly towards Erik. “It's so shiny boss, and it's got so many jewels!”
“Huh, so Gilgamesh himself didn't show.” Skull-Face spat venomously. “Very well, I'll see the gilded coward when I take my city, anyway.”
“Boss, this isn't the crown!” Nelson called, desperately trying to shut up Toecutter’s ramblings.
“What?!” Skull-Face said. “You’re mad, coming here with a fake crown. Get ‘im, boys, we can always use another bargaining chip.”
Another two bandits dropped into the the sands below, an assortment weapons, including Toecutter’s sheet metal sword, poised as the psychic. Skull-Face turned to sit back down in his chair when he noticed something strange. Was that large pile of sand there when he got up? The bandit lord moved to check the pile, before it seemed to explode before him.
“You face Sand Hawk, master of the invincible technique; Sand Veil!” Sand Hawk announced as he burst from the pile, hurling a fistful of knives at Skull-Face.
“What!?” The bandit lord gasped as he raised his arms, defending himself from the flying blades. Although he managed to prevent any serious damage, Skull-Face found himself slipping off the edge of the platform and onto the sand below. Sand Hawk shot Erik a thumbs up as one of the bandits on the platform moved to engage him, the new New Babylonian making his way towards the holding cell.
“Don't kill them.” Skull-Face said slowly as he got to his feet. “Just make their capture as agonising as possible.” The bandits circling Erik began to advance, reassured by the fact that he made no effort to defend himself. Just as the first swing began to fall towards his, however, everything seemed to happen in an instant. Chains unraveled themselves from around Erik’s torso before emerging from the back of his shirt, extending out the wide sleeves of his cloak. The animated weapons bound themselves around each of Erik’s assailants, binding them like great metal serpents. The bandits let out choked cries as the steel constructed them, their leader held at bay by the remaining two chains.
“Boy, you have no idea what you're dealing with.” Skull-Face said as Erik released the bandit lord’s unconscious goons.
“There's not much that you can do to phase me.” Erik said matter-of-factly.
“We’ll see. BOYS, RILE ‘EM UP!” Skull-Face called, before a chorus of low notes resounded from the assorted lizard carriages. The beasts didn't seem to enjoy the sounds, their eyes narrowing as they seemed to transform from peaceful transportation animals to feral monsters.
‘Perhaps it was a bad idea to do this alone.’ Erik thought as he moved to engage Skull-Face, praying he wouldn't be crushed or eaten alive.
*The emperor of mankind yeets erik into a sun*
[Today 08:03 pm] Erik Vrell : Bruh
[Today 08:03 pm] The emperor of mankind : don't worship gods
[Today 08:03 pm] Erik Vrell : Bruh
[Today 08:03 pm] The emperor of mankind : don't worship gods