05-14-2018, 11:20 AM
Rafael Esquivel:
[spoiler]
D.E. Air Cutter: "horses" are not a specific enough measurement. Horses vary in size. I'm pretty sure I told you that when you posted this in the Move Creation Workshop, and one of the comments I inserted into your move for you to respond to is still there (from the MCW). I've bolded it to draw it to your attention.
D.E. Orb: Approved.
[/spoiler]
Reece:
[spoiler]
Resilient China Central Eye: Approved.
Fine China Sharp Shards:
300 - Using a shattered limb as a sharp melee weapon.
300 - Breaking off parts of sharp your body to hit people with.
The first off these options you can remove from this move if you want to save OM - and just keep it like an incidental-ish weapon. Unless you'd prefer to be effective with it (where it'd be strong because it hurts you in the process - which is a pretty good drawback).
Anyway, I know you're a fan of using direct stat comparisons in your moves, but that's really not how it works. It's a gradient and the numbers are guidelines for the roleplay. So "they will be unable to harm anyone whose DEF is equal to or greater than China’s ATK" is just gimping your character. Even someone with 1 ATK can get a lucky shot on someone with 4 DEF. So, while there's no problem with the line if you really want to keep it, you can cut it out.
As for the second part, add that the shards can't go further than 12ft from his centre of mass (or the eye), since you have physical prof listed but not ranged. Also, while sorta implied, add something about controlling more shards requiring more concentration, making it harder to coordinate them all.
[/spoiler]
Jak Mar:
[spoiler]
Approved.
[/spoiler]
Amber Veritz:
[spoiler]
Katana Style: Approved, but you might want to add what different colour her hair becomes on your roster.
Razorback Katana: How does she change it between the forms? Is it instant? Does she focus for a bit? Also, while it may seem obvious, add physical strength as a requirement.
Tracker, Advanced sense: What I'm gathering is that you want to see people's footsteps, so, where someone has been? This should be fine but:
>You need to add enhanced senses as a requirement.
>Stealth won't impact this. Suppression would, likely with the usual TEC rules. So if they have the same TEC as you (or more) then I'd say you shouldn't be able to track them with this (since enhanced senses wouldn't sense them normally). If you have a bit more TEC than them, the footsteps will be hazy and a lot will probably be missing - just generally harder to track. As you approach double their TEC, you can start to ignore their suppression.
>Are you concentrating on this to use it? Or could you do this while runnin' and gunnin'?
Note that you don't need a move to track someone through conventional means. Suppression won't help someone if they step on an actual twig, and if you're mostly playing Amber somewhere where it's easier to leave physical tracks, you could easily get by tracking people without this move.
[/spoiler]
[spoiler]
(05-13-2018, 01:24 PM)Rafael Esquivel Wrote: D.E. Air Cutter (300, Ranged Proficiency, Homing Proficiency):
Aircutter is an attack Rafael can do by channeling Dark Energon into the air around him, a process that takes about 5 seconds to successfully perform. During the time of performing the process, Rafael cannot dodge, nor attack, nor do anything. However, this allows him to generate 30 crescent shaped blades of air that are about the size of horses each [be more specific], that he can send at an opponent. These are sent one after another over a period of 5 seconds. Each travels at the speed of an arrow, and homes in. This homes in very accurately on an opponent, zig-zagging until it reaches the opponent. Does a fair amount of damage overall.
D.E. Orb (300, Ranged Proficiency, Homing Prof. ):
A Basketball sized orb of Dark Energon that can be generated by Rafael, or Unicron. Manifesting the orb into existence takes about seven seconds, and requires the complete concentration of Rafael, or Unicron. This means that they cannot do anything while making the orb. The orb travels at the speed of an arrow and can home in an opponent. The orb is fired out of the palm of his hand towards an opponent. The orb has a range of 56 feet. It is very draining on his stamina and so he cannot spam the orbs at an opponent, even if he wanted to do so. The orb travels in a zig-zag pattern. However, should the orb take any damage he would have to remake the orb entirely, and try again. This is very accurate though.
D.E. Air Cutter: "horses" are not a specific enough measurement. Horses vary in size. I'm pretty sure I told you that when you posted this in the Move Creation Workshop, and one of the comments I inserted into your move for you to respond to is still there (from the MCW). I've bolded it to draw it to your attention.
D.E. Orb: Approved.
[/spoiler]
Reece:
[spoiler]
(05-13-2018, 01:28 PM)Reece Wrote: First off, I'd like to make a small change to China's 'Resilient China Central Eye' RP Fodder Move. I can't really see this being rejected, since all I'm doing is adding a completely unnecessary drawback which in no way improves how the move functions in the slightest (addition in bold):
Quote:Resilient China Central Eye (0)
(Hive Mind, Survival, Flight, Disassemble)
https://image.ibb.co/b54hw7/Hallo_eye_small.png
In the centre of China’s head floats a third eye; an amber-and-black-coloured, lacquered orb of solid porcelain, which is as durable as stone. In addition to being used to see, this 2.5-inch-wide sphere also serves as the core of his being; his heart and brain both. So long as it exists, China will not die, no matter what happens to the rest of his body. Conversely, however, if it is broken then he will perish immediately, no matter how fine the condition of the rest of him. This also means that he cannot Disassemble his third eye, as that would still count as it being broken, and would therefore kill him.
Essentially, what this means in OOC terms is that no one can smash his third eye without either winning a graded fight or getting OOC permission… in much the same way that they wouldn't normally be allowed to decapitate someone (who didn’t have Survival) during a fight.
Even though the eye is not actually physically attached to the rest of China's body, and so can fly around freely within and around his current position, it is still connected to him by his magic, and as such must always remain within at least 2 metres of 50% or more of his total body mass (though this 2m distance would increase/decrease proportionately if he were to use the Growth/Shrink Power to alter his size). This distance limitation means that he could not simply spit out his eye and have it alone fly off to safety if a Fight was going badly for him. Also, as all of China's senses are tied to the Central Eye, his first two eyes cannot be used whilst it is outside his body; the three eyes will never all be active at the same time.
And second, I have another Move I'd like to get approved for China... to make him more... china-like:
Quote:Fine China Sharp Shards (300)
(Physical Strength, Survival, Hive Mind, Disassemble, Flight)
As China’s entire body is composed of hollow porcelain, any broken parts will generally have sharp edges, and as such can be used as weapons in battle (e.g. stabbing someone with the stump of his arm after having a hand shattered). That said, they’re not particularly effective weapons, as they still have his DEF, so in clashes with swords or other weapons, they will just end up breaking more. Further, they will be unable to harm anyone whose DEF is equal to or greater than China’s ATK, and will usually just break even more if he strikes such a target with too much force. To anyone with DEF lower than his, they will cut just as easily as would any other bladed weapon wielded by someone with his ATK.
These shards can also be made to fly through use of the Flight and Hive Mind Powers, no different from how those would function with any other broken off body parts. Further, one way that China can choose to Disassemble his body is to voluntarily shatter it into a multitude of these shards, with only his Central Eye being left intact (see ‘Resilient China Central Eye’). That said, unlike in a fully Disassembled form, these shards are still able to be damaged in the exact same ways his normal body could, aside from the fact that it’s usually much easier for them to dodge, due to being so much smaller (like trying to shoot a shoal of fish, as opposed to a single shark).
Even though I’ve described how this Move can be used in conjunction with his Powers, I wouldn’t really class those as different uses; all I’m really asking for here is to get his body to be sharp when I break it… so for now I’ve just priced this at 300 OM.
Resilient China Central Eye: Approved.
Fine China Sharp Shards:
300 - Using a shattered limb as a sharp melee weapon.
300 - Breaking off parts of sharp your body to hit people with.
The first off these options you can remove from this move if you want to save OM - and just keep it like an incidental-ish weapon. Unless you'd prefer to be effective with it (where it'd be strong because it hurts you in the process - which is a pretty good drawback).
Anyway, I know you're a fan of using direct stat comparisons in your moves, but that's really not how it works. It's a gradient and the numbers are guidelines for the roleplay. So "they will be unable to harm anyone whose DEF is equal to or greater than China’s ATK" is just gimping your character. Even someone with 1 ATK can get a lucky shot on someone with 4 DEF. So, while there's no problem with the line if you really want to keep it, you can cut it out.
As for the second part, add that the shards can't go further than 12ft from his centre of mass (or the eye), since you have physical prof listed but not ranged. Also, while sorta implied, add something about controlling more shards requiring more concentration, making it harder to coordinate them all.
[/spoiler]
Jak Mar:
[spoiler]
(05-13-2018, 02:13 PM)Jak Mar Wrote: T1SU - Flash Freeze - Light Jak (600 OM) (Debuff, Ranged, Homing)
Jak in his Light form is able to freeze a enemy in place by focusing on them for a couple of seconds, then appearing to clap his hands above his head, allowing him safe passage while his enemy is stopped temporarily. This effect lasts 40 seconds. A frozen enemy cannot be targetted or harmed by any means. This can be blocked by a T1 super defence.
Approved.
[/spoiler]
Amber Veritz:
[spoiler]
(05-14-2018, 01:03 AM)Amber Veritz Wrote: Kamisoritoge, Katana Style - Alt form(2000)
Brute force isn’t always the way to win a fight, even Amber knows that. Training with Murasaki has given her the skill to use more intricate blades, and change her fighting style completely. Razorback Berserk cannot be used in this form. Amber’s appearance does change slightly. She loses her faunus heritage(Her cat ears), and her hair becomes a different color.
Stats: 4/0/4/4
Kamisoritoge, aka Razorback Katana - Move(600)
A sharp katana. The blade gleams orange and is extendable past the standard katana length. In it’s short form, the blade is around 3ft long(Short of a meter) in it’s extended form, the unwieldy blade reaches 8 feet past it’s hilt. This is a standard weapon that can only be used with Katana style.
Tracker, Advanced sense - 300
A tactical move used to locate targets by tracking their footsteps. While active, Amber can trace a person footprint through previously invisible imprints left behind while in her animal forms(Faunus and Panther). The ‘imprint’ can be tracked for up 2 minutes from the time it was made, and can be harder to track if an opponent has higher tec, or stealth. She can used this ability every five minutes and it can be sustained for a total of 30 seconds. Although it’s a natural instinct to a hunter-animal, it’s difficult to continuously use even after it’s cooldown. Doing so can leave Amber vulnerable to moderate fatigue.
Katana Style: Approved, but you might want to add what different colour her hair becomes on your roster.
Razorback Katana: How does she change it between the forms? Is it instant? Does she focus for a bit? Also, while it may seem obvious, add physical strength as a requirement.
Tracker, Advanced sense: What I'm gathering is that you want to see people's footsteps, so, where someone has been? This should be fine but:
>You need to add enhanced senses as a requirement.
>Stealth won't impact this. Suppression would, likely with the usual TEC rules. So if they have the same TEC as you (or more) then I'd say you shouldn't be able to track them with this (since enhanced senses wouldn't sense them normally). If you have a bit more TEC than them, the footsteps will be hazy and a lot will probably be missing - just generally harder to track. As you approach double their TEC, you can start to ignore their suppression.
>Are you concentrating on this to use it? Or could you do this while runnin' and gunnin'?
Note that you don't need a move to track someone through conventional means. Suppression won't help someone if they step on an actual twig, and if you're mostly playing Amber somewhere where it's easier to leave physical tracks, you could easily get by tracking people without this move.
[/spoiler]

