05-04-2018, 07:54 PM
Clownpiece
1st page: Basic, but up to date. So that's good. Remove the signature and add a Quick Jump menu for maximum effect.
2nd page: History is enormous. Consider using colors to make a "cliff notes" version, for people who don't have 3 hours to read the thing.
The picture of CP is small enough you could float it to the left and not have to hide it in a spoiler. Appearance description could use some of the above, in colored cliffnotes. I'm just gonna say "cliffnotes" for this whole page. Additionally, remove signature and maybe add a video or image link (or a few) to help readers visualize CP's personality.
3rd page: I DO enjoy me some Stat explanations. Good work. Why is Lampad's torch the only Move not in Spoilers? Seems weird. Maybe add a picture to help readers visualize it too. Cliffnotes will go a long way again, since you're a very "description-heavy" rosterer. Spacing between the Moves is irregular. Super Moves are, weirdly, not in Spoilers. Signature.
4th page: I like this page. Could use some cliffnotes, but the visual aids for the Base are nice. Also, signature.
Overall: Just needs a spring cleaning, for the most part. And cliffnotes. Cuz everything you had on here was at least, like, 300 words. When someone is writing a fight, or even just a post, they might not wanna spend 20 minutes digging through your descriptions for the info they need. But your roster has good bone structure and over-all it wasn't a HARD roster to go through. You might also benefit from adding a section on what CP has been up to since joining the OV. Enemies or friends she may have made. Adventures had. Etc. Even just posting links to your old threads can help someone get a feel for your character.
1st page: Basic, but up to date. So that's good. Remove the signature and add a Quick Jump menu for maximum effect.
2nd page: History is enormous. Consider using colors to make a "cliff notes" version, for people who don't have 3 hours to read the thing.
The picture of CP is small enough you could float it to the left and not have to hide it in a spoiler. Appearance description could use some of the above, in colored cliffnotes. I'm just gonna say "cliffnotes" for this whole page. Additionally, remove signature and maybe add a video or image link (or a few) to help readers visualize CP's personality.3rd page: I DO enjoy me some Stat explanations. Good work. Why is Lampad's torch the only Move not in Spoilers? Seems weird. Maybe add a picture to help readers visualize it too. Cliffnotes will go a long way again, since you're a very "description-heavy" rosterer. Spacing between the Moves is irregular. Super Moves are, weirdly, not in Spoilers. Signature.
4th page: I like this page. Could use some cliffnotes, but the visual aids for the Base are nice. Also, signature.
Overall: Just needs a spring cleaning, for the most part. And cliffnotes. Cuz everything you had on here was at least, like, 300 words. When someone is writing a fight, or even just a post, they might not wanna spend 20 minutes digging through your descriptions for the info they need. But your roster has good bone structure and over-all it wasn't a HARD roster to go through. You might also benefit from adding a section on what CP has been up to since joining the OV. Enemies or friends she may have made. Adventures had. Etc. Even just posting links to your old threads can help someone get a feel for your character.
![[Image: Jacksig.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/04/13/Jacksig.png)