04-22-2018, 03:59 PM
(04-22-2018, 03:28 PM)Warren Zimmer Wrote: C - Carver (600 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff, Telepathy.):
This sword weighs 2.4 pounds. The length of the blade is 75 centimeters. The total length of the blade is 90 Centimeters. The sword possesses a debuff that takes about 5 seconds to charge up [can he move while charging? can he use other moves while charging or execute masic attacks and blocks? does he have to concentrate?] and lasts for 4 seconds. The debuff simply causes people to be afraid of the sword [feels like you're missing a few words here] he more the debuff is used, the weaker the effect is on the individuals around him. The fear affect just makes them feel mildly at unease.In addition, however, the debuff has another weakness. It is useless on anyone with a stronger TEC than Warren Zimmer personally has. The sword was purchased from a merchant in the Endless Dunes by Warren Zimmer, along with other weapons for his own personal use. This can be used with other moves, and while moving. [remove]
Chained Chaos (300 OM, Physical Strength)
A katana that was also purchased. This sword appears to be a generic katana, at first glance, with a one foot long blade. However, chains are wrapped around the hilt and it is kept in it's sheath. This is used as a blunt weapon by Warren, most of the time. It is moderately draining on his stamina to summon but is summoned instantly.
Unchained Chaos: (900 OM, Physical Strength, Debuff.)
Unchained Chaos is the form of Chained Chaos where the limiters Warren put into the sword are released. It appears to be a generic katana, but has three modes he can use with it.
- Saber Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves as a regular katana with a 1 foot long blade. This can clash with most blades. The sword is mildly draining on his stamina to use. Takes him about 3 seconds to activate this mode of the sword. [can he move while activating it? can he use other moves or execute masic attacks and blocks while activating it? does he have to concentrate to activate it?] This can be used with other moves, it can also be used with other basic moves while Saber Mode is in use, provided he has a hand free.
- Lightning Mode: The mode where Unchained Chaos behaves like a sword that is charged with a Tazer. Dependent on the Tec of Warren versus the Tec of an opponent, Lightning Mode could cause loss of access to a limb temporarily, if it strikes an opponent. This loss would last about 5 seconds. Takes him 8 seconds to swap to this mode of the sword which he can keep it in for six seconds. This is fairly draining on his stamina, and cannot be used with other blade style moves. While swapping modes, he can use other moves, provided he keep a hand free. [needs more drawbacks like for concentration to be required when swapping to the mode]
- Fire Mode: This mode of the sword has it ignite with purple flames. The sword's debuff takes about 5 seconds to charge up though he needn't concentrate. Swapping to this mode of the sword takes about eight seconds, after wich he can maintain the move for about 5 seconds. The burning would leave a burn mark on an opponent for the next 8 seconds that would hurt quite severely - making concentrating on sword moves difficult for an opponent. However, this has a 10 second cool down, and cannot be stacked. This also completely paralyzes him [when? after it runs out? dude, just make it require concentration to swap to the fire mode] - preventing the use of any and all moves, or even basic movement for 5 seconds - allowing an opponent to whail on him should they be able to execute that vulnerability.
Tier 1 Super Move "Die" - 600 OM, Ranged Proficiency, Homing [from the looks of this, you control it, so you can remove the homing bit], Remote Control, Ranged Materialize, Telekineis.
An orb of purple energy that is the size of an inflatable beachball that Warren can create roughly 15 feet away from his body, typically he has it hover over one hand. The orb then is sent at an opponent after he spends 2 seconds eating [??!!!] it. Once the orb reaches an opponent, it detonates with enough power that only a Tier One Super Move, or a Tier Two or Higher Super move could block it. [what range does this have? also, you make it sound like it explodes, is there a blast radius or does it just hit that one person?]
Basically meaningless drawbacks:
>Cooldowns. There's no limit to how many moves you can get, so cooldowns are not a viable drawback in most cases. And, often, for something already with a charge time, a cooldown is meaningless since you wouldn't need to use it that often anyway. They're usually just a fluff thing to emphasise that your character won't spam the attack.
Comparatively weak drawbacks:
>Charge times that don't require any concentration, since it's literally just a delay before you can use the move rather than anything inhibiting. Yeah, some people might look at some of your moves above and think "but he has a charge time, why does it need more drawbacks?". The reason for that is because his charge time is essentially "I get a free attack in 5 seconds" rather than "I need to spend 5 seconds charging my power". This is a valid drawback in some cases, but usually, it won't be. It depends.
Stronger drawbacks:
>Requiring concentration during a charge time, whether it's a lot of a bit. A 5 second charge time where you can dodge as normal but not attack is basically saying "this is 5 seconds worth of damage/effects all at once". A 5-second charge where you've got to be stationary and can't use any moves is saying "here's a lot of damage/effects, more than I would usually be able to dish out in 5 seconds".
For your moves, you should really be using the last option. Yeah, drawbacks like self-paralysis are valid. But keep it basic, Warren. Just stick with one of these:
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to concentrate completely and cannot move."
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to focus but can still dodge and block."
"Takes <time> seconds to charge. While charging <character> has to focus a moderate amount but can still execute basic dodges, blocks, and attacks and partially use other moves/powers with lower concentration requirements."